All the loss is starting to freak me out for TTCing

shakes

In the last two years quite a few of my friends have suffered losses late in pregnancy. It varied from 4 weeks through to 38 weeks (the day after her baby shower no less). All of them have been quite dramatic in nature as well. I am the only woman in my family to not have had a m/c with the first pregnancy. While I am and always will be grateful that my friends love and trust me so much to share such personal things with me, it's starting to scare me a little in terms of DH and I starting to TTC #2 in the fall. I know there's zero correlation here, but I can't but occasionally think it's bound to happen to us also. I am not really looking for anything here, just needed to say that out loud.

shopgirl78

I think the scare of miscarriage is prominent with any pregnancy/TTCing.   My mother had 2 (one 2nd trimester) & 3 children, and I am (thankfully) 3 for 3.  I think you kinda have to put your worries on the back burner & take "life" (generically) as it comes.

BrittKav

I agree with PP, it's always a worry. I've read that 50% of women will experience a miscarriage at some point in their lives. Ironically, I was SO worried about m/c with my first two and they were completely healthy. With my last pregnancy I was very optimistic and I lost it. 

My mom had 7 pregnancies and had a miscarriage with pregnancy #6.

No one else in my family or DH's family has had miscarriages. 

 

judahsmommy1

I knew four different women during my pregnancy with my DS who lost their babies either at or shortly after birth. When my anxiety is high it's actually something that worries me. I know that it's crazy and that those experiences have nothing to do with my son, but it's really hard to understand how other women can experience SO much pain and I was given so much joy. It just feels like it's not fair and that the universe may try to even it all out. I guess I'm trying to say that I know what you mean.

stilts1

I had 2 early losses and my 3rd pregnancy was uncomplicated and resulted in a healthy baby.  I had some friends (and friends-of-friends) lose pregnancies and maternal loss at various stages while I was pregnant with my DD.  I talked with my Dr about all my worries.  She was very honest with me yet kind.  Yes, these things happen.  Yes it's scary.  But today, I was alive and my baby was healthy.  I don't take getting/staying pregnant forgranted. We are currently in the "if it happens it happens" boat for #2.  All my old fears are creeping up again, but I just take some deep breaths and know that things will turn out as they should.  If we're one and done, then I'm happy.  I'm already blessed!

grr_aargh

I've heard that 50% of women have a m/c statistic, but I think it's BS.  I'm a m/c hoarder, so let's just hope I took the bullet for you.  What do you say?  Go ahead and believe it if that helps. 

 

Here's the thing - it's like a lightning strike but way more common. There's nothing you can do. So jump headlong into TTC believing it will be OK - the majority of time it IS.  

[Deleted User]

Yeah, it's rough not knowing what's going to happen.  You know that if you need someone to talk to, you can PM me or probably a number of other ladies for support. 

mrsgaines100

I am so sorry to hear about your friend's loss.  I am sorry that some of you ladies feel bad, "guilty", or like you should expect it.  And my condolences to those have experienced it. 

But as a friend said yesterday, "You can't win unless you play".  The stats are sucky sometimes.  I am coming from a hopeful place at the moment.

I pray every. single. day. (sometimes many times a day)  that I get to keep this one and that all is healthy in there.