Dads & Dads-to-be
circumcision
I just wanna get this topic rolling. I know it's controversial right now. I would love to hear some other dads and dads to be opinions on this sibject. No judgment in either camp. Would just like some perspective. Anyone firm on it one way or the other? Stories about tribulations and disagreements? I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts.
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Re: circumcision
We are getting our boy snipped. I have no problem with it being done or not. We are doing it because I am, and I want him to see consistency in terms of how he sees me. I remember seeing my father naked as a child, and I felt better knowing we were the same down there. I also know it made it easier for my dad to potty train me, as that was his responsibility. There are cleaning and sanitary issues as well that my father, or me for that matter, don't have a clue about. By the time sports start to kick in, there are so many other things that boys slam each other for...I never recall any of us talking about size, shape, circu, etc. when we were in the locker room.
It is what we do in my family, and I plan on continuing that. I understand there is some pain involved for my son, and although I do not like that, it is not a traumatic experience that stays with us. My wife is a child psychologist, and she has yet to here a child explain how being circu has had a negative impact on his life.
I want my boy to see me and say, "hey, I am just like daddy down there."
We are having a boy and have decided to circumcise him.
We did a little research and realized that is will decrease his chances with STIs, infections, and the cleanliness of an uncircumcised penis is a tough issue. A lot of little boys don't know how and it can be an issue later on.
There are things the doctor can do to lessen the pain and we were told it's a snip and feels like a pinch if you do it early on...we decided that the pros out weighted the cons so we are on-board.
Not a dad, and not attempting to dissuade you from your decision, but that information is inaccurate. I have a degree in child development, which required taking human sexuality courses in which circumcision (and health benefits/effects) were discussed. If you look at the statistics, you'll understand that the health benefits touted are actually way exaggerated. I often hear parents say "Uncircumcised boys have twice the chance of getting penile cancer!"" Sure, but the rates increase from 1 in 100,000 to 2 in 100,000. The rates of a major issue arising from circumcision are higher than that.
My human sexuality teacher was very anti-circumcision and was frustrated by all the misinformation out there. We had to watch videos of circumcision, and those babies didn't seem to feel "a pinch." It looked excruciating. Also, little boys don't need to know a special way to clean an intact penis--you clean it like you would a finger until they're around five or so and then it requires minimal extra cleaning.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
If we have a boy in the future I am adamant about not having him circumcised. I feel that it is mainly a cosmetic surgery that is unnecessary especially with advancements in hygiene. I am circumcised.
I believe that a child should learn to be comfortable the way they are and not worry about looking exactly like daddy. It seems like having the child think they have to be like something sets them up for failure later in life of not living up to expectations.
Giving my husbands opinion here. He feels confident in his ability to teach his son the proper cleaning when he gets to that point that it wasn't worth the risk, however small it is, of the procedure.
Another thing to consider is that due to the American Pediatric Association's recommendation against circumcision, based on lack of evidence for medical benefit of the procedure (which has now changed to a more unbiased opinion either way), some insurance companies consider it cosmetic surgery and will not cover it. It is really a personal decision but insurance sometimes plays a bigger role in decisions than we would like.
I believe this is the most current publication of the APA's opinion on circumcision.
https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/103/3/686.full
My DW and I, have decided to not skin the lizard. True, there are health effects that can be prevented by circumsicion but we did our research and the pros dont really out weigh the cons...
Pros of Circumcision - He will look like me. Less of a chance of infection later in life.
Cons of Circumcision - Its surgery at a young age. Decreased sensuality of cut area (for when he is trying for his own later in life). Possibility if botched surgery. Possibility of infection during surgery.
Really for us, it doesnt really matter, but possibilites of problems make us say, "Naw" to the whole thing. Besides, I am a buddhist and my DW is agnostic, so there is no religious pulls.
One last thing, in terms of plus's and minus's... if the end result in neither, whats the point of all the risk in the first place?
I am indifferent on the issue. I've done the research and in the end my DW is leaving the decision up to me as long as I understand I have to explain my choice to her parents. My ILs have very few things they are absolutely adamant about and this is one of them (for religious reasons). But, DW knowing that this isn't their decision wants me to be comfortable with my choice because I will be the one explaining it to our son.
Ultimately, we will have him circ'd. Pros and Cons aside, neither side has enough research to sway me. And the "botched" procedure isn't enough either. My own was botched as was my BIL's (recently learned this from my MIL), both sets of parents had it corrected and we are both perfectly fine. There are pain management options that can be requested and we plan on looking into those further once my wife has selected the temple we will use.
I agree that it is odd that circumcision is a social norm nowadays. I do not agree, however, in it's being made illegal. I think the choice should be given to parents paired with the facts from both sides.
We are Jewish, so culturally it is what we do. We do it for health benefits, exaggerated or not, as well as the ceremonially factor of our and our son's covenant with God.
Does that mean I think everyone should do it? Hell no. Just as not every child born is not baptized. I'm not meaning to make this a religious topic, so I will digress.
Though the health benefits may be exaggerated, they are there and still hold importance. It does help reduce risks of STDs and UTIs, as well as penile cancer and cervical cancer in female partners.
I'm circumcised (sorry, TMI) and don't really think about it until this discussion is brought up. I have a friend who is not who ails from infection from time to time. Is my life better or worse for being circumcised? I'm probably a little more comfortable because of it, but I really can't say.
I am a mom, and hope you dont mind me chiming in. H wishes he had not been cut, and therefore C is not done, despite the preference in the religion he is being raised in. Sensuality is one reason, H's other is that he feels our son is perfect just the way he was born and H would rather not make a permanent change to his body that cannot be undone. Okay, leaving now.
Oh, and I keep telling H he should come on here, that more men are needed/wanted. Y'all can be pretty awesome the couple of times I have been around. Please feel free to come visit the Parenting board anytime.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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Oh Captain Jack Harkness . . .
Thanks for your input. This is my feeling. If they want it done, they can do it when they can make that decision for theme selves. You can always get cut later in life but from my understanding they haven't been very successful with prosthetic foreskin or growing back foreskin.
This is pretty helpful information. My fianc? said if we are having a boy, he is leaving the decision to me. The doctors started to C him but his mom stopped them halfway through so he's not really much of one or the other (TMI, sorry). Both my brothers and ou nephew are C. I just don't know how I feel about it. I've always just figured it would be done since so many males in my life are that way it just seems normal for the family. And in the case of one of my brothers, C did reduce his UTIs greatly as he had them a lot in the hospital until the procedure was done. I've never weighed pros or cons and I really dont know how to. My biggest decision was always going to be how my fianc? felt but he says he does not care either way.
Reading about how males who have had it done feel is very helpful!
To each their own and their own beliefs what have you.
I myself am circumcised.
Here is a story from when I was in tha Marines back when I was in school in Missouri my roommate 20years old got circumcised and woke up in the middle of the night screaming because he got a Bonner and ripped some stiches and then had to go back to the Dr. and redo the process! All because his current girlfriend did not prefer uncircumcised men so he did it for her.
We personally did circumcise our son.