When things go wrong...

Williamandshawnna · June 2012

Reposted from miscarriage/pregnancy loss, Reposted from multiples board.

I keep getting told on different boards to hop on over to another one, where there is even more support. Thank you all for your support, thoughts, prayers and kind words.

First, I want to thank all of you for your amazing support from the beginning. The knowledge and community friendship made me alwYs feel like I belonged. Thank you.Second, to those new and seasoned to this journey I wish you smooth sailing the whole way. And finally, at 3:30am, just 24 hours ago, Monday, June 25, we delivered 3 boys. At 19 weeks and 5 days they were too early to survive. Myself and my husband have tried to begin our new journey, a journey of healing. Only time will tell what our next chapter brings, and when. I can't top thinking that I didn't try hard enough to keep baby b and c, am i a bad mother for not "seeing" my children after they were born?

Carolee · June 2012

I'm so sorry for the losses of your precious boys. Please don't think that you didn't try hard enough or that you are a bad mom (easier said than done, as I have thought both of these many times) - you did your best given the situation at the time. I hope this board will bring you comfort as you go though your journey of healing.

JessicaRobb · June 2012

I am very sorry for the loss of your boys. Take time and let yourself grieve. Do not feel like a bad mother. As for not seeing your boys, I did not see my son either. Looking back, I wish I had but I do not consider it a regret. To me, it is not a regret because we made the best decision for us at the time. So much is going on when you experience a loss like this and there is no instruction manual. Everytime I catch myself beating myself up about "I wish I had done X," "I wish I had thought to do Y," I stop and tell myself that we made it through that awful day. Just getting through the delivery is a huge thing. What is the "right" way to handle all of the options and choices you are faced with when you are in a state of shock? Whatever you did was the right choice for you at the moment. Don't fault yourself for that.

I am glad you found us here. We are here for for you.

Auki13 · June 2012

I am so sorry for your losses. All of us had to make very difficult decisions and you made those that were best for you and your family at the time. Don't ever feel like you made a wrong decision or were a "bad" mom. Your precious boys know that you love them with all your heart and that's what matters most. I hope you can find some comfort here, this is a wonderful group of women.

tubbsy32 · June 2012

I'm so sorry for the loss of your babies. This board is a wonderful support system for me and I hope that you too will find support here (but of course wish that you and none of us had to even be here).

I'm sorry ((hugs))

StephK86 · June 2012

I am so sorry for your losses. You are not a bad mother for not seeing your boys. Everyone grieves and does thing differently. No way is right or wrong. It is not your fault you lost them either. I know it's hard not feel that way though. I wish you peace as you begin this long, hard journey. Whenever you need support we are all always here. (HUGS)