Late Term and Child Loss

When things go wrong...

Reposted from miscarriage/pregnancy loss, Reposted from multiples board.

I keep getting told on different boards to hop on over to another one, where there is even more support. Thank you all for your support, thoughts, prayers and kind words.

First, I want to thank all of you for your amazing support from the beginning. The knowledge and community friendship made me alwYs feel like I belonged. Thank you.Second, to those new and seasoned to this journey I wish you smooth sailing the whole way. And finally, at 3:30am, just 24 hours ago, Monday, June 25, we delivered 3 boys. At 19 weeks and 5 days they were too early to survive. Myself and my husband have tried to begin our new journey, a journey of healing. Only time will tell what our next chapter brings, and when. I can't top thinking that I didn't try hard enough to keep baby b and c, am i a bad mother for not "seeing" my children after they were born?

TTC #1 since 10/2010 RE consult 6/2011 PCOS (known) MFI IVF #1 w/ICSI 2/2012 BFP TRIPLETS our angels grew wings at 19.5 weeks 6.25.12 IVF #2 2/2013 Sono shows tissue Hysteroscopy needed Changing RE Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ~~~all welcome~~~

Re: When things go wrong...

  • I'm so sorry for the losses of your precious boys.  Please don't think that you didn't try hard enough or that you are a bad mom (easier said than done, as I have thought both of these many times) - you did your best given the situation at the time.  I hope this board will bring you comfort as you go though your journey of healing.   
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • I am very sorry for the loss of your boys. Take time and let yourself grieve. Do not feel like a bad mother. As for not seeing your boys, I did not see my son either. Looking back, I wish I had but I do not consider it a regret. To me, it is not a regret because we made the best decision for us at the time. So much is going on when you experience a loss like this and there is no instruction manual. Everytime I catch myself beating myself up about "I wish I had done X," "I wish I had thought to do Y," I stop and tell myself that we made it through that awful day. Just getting through the delivery is a huge thing. What is the "right" way to handle all of the options and choices you are faced with when you are in a state of shock? Whatever you did was the right choice for you at the moment. Don't fault yourself for that.

     I am glad you found us here. We are here for for you. 

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  • Auki13Auki13 member
    I am so sorry for your losses.  All of us had to make very difficult decisions and you made those that were best for you and your family at the time.  Don't ever feel like you made a wrong decision or were a "bad" mom.  Your precious boys know that you love them with all your heart and that's what matters most.  I hope you can find some comfort here, this is a wonderful group of women.
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your babies. This board is a wonderful support system for me and I hope that you too will find support here (but of course wish that you and none of us had to even be here).

    I'm sorry ((hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • I am so sorry for your losses. You are not a bad mother for not seeing your boys. Everyone grieves and does thing differently. No way is right or wrong. It is not your fault you lost them either. I know it's hard not feel that way though. I wish you peace as you begin this long, hard journey. Whenever you need support we are all always here. (HUGS)
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  • I'm so sorry for your losses.  Don't beat yourself up.  We all do the best we can in these horrible situations.  Take care!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your precious boys. You are beginning a journey that none of us wish we were on, but we are here for you. 

      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
  • I am so sorry for your losses. You are in no way a bad mother. Please take care of yourself during this difficult time.

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers


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