Should I help put them to bed at his house?

ldoo

We just started overnights 3X a week last week at their dad's for my 2yo and almost 4yo. I know the older girl tells him at bed time that she wants me, wants to come home, etc. She cries. It obviously upsets her, although I don't think it's a massive problem.

He suggested maybe I should have dinner tonight with all of them and be there to help put them to bed. Help ease the transition. 

I will do ANYTHING to help with this rough time in their lives. But is this a good idea? I know it will help ease their minds, but long-term, I can't put them to bed at his house. Plus, I worry that they'll just want me to take them back to my house and not even be at his. And obviously that won't happen.

What should I do? Just let him do it without me and hope it gets easier for my girls? (I should add that she's always in a better mood when she's napped. She did not nap yesterday, which might have contributed to her being upset. She DID nap today.)

CFjo2010

Nope.  Do not get sucked into that trap.  By trap I don't mean your Ex is playing you, but that the girls will never get used to just Daddy putting them to bed.  It's going to be hard the first few times, but then it gets easier.  The girls need to create a bedtime routine for Daddy's house or the transition will be that much harder later on.

DarthNBJenni

Don't do it. I know bedtime sucked for the girls at their dad's house, and has gotten better over time. Even my SD had issues falling asleep without being in the same bed as her dad/aunt/grandma/someone since she sleeps with her mom at her house (at almost 5). We've worked with her here, and she goes to bed with no issues. It will take time and he needs to learn how to do it himself. 

ldoo

DarthNBJenni:

Don't do it. I know bedtime sucked for the girls at their dad's house, and has gotten better over time. Even my SD had issues falling asleep without being in the same bed as her dad/aunt/grandma/someone since she sleeps with her mom at her house (at almost 5). We've worked with her here, and she goes to bed with no issues. It will take time and he needs to learn how to do it himself. 

Sigh. OK. Thanks everyone. I didn't help last night. My gut instinct is that she'll get used to it and miss me less over time, but her dad is just guilting me so much and telling me how much divorce is going to screw her up.