Am I right to be offended?

foxxy1

One of my friends messaged me on FB today, asking if I would pray for her friend. Her friend went through something similar like I did with Ethan and she's currently pregnant again with her rainbow. She told me she chose me specifically because she felt I would better understand than most of her other friends.

I can't help but to feel that I'm the 'go-to' person now. You went into pre-term labor? Talk to foxxy! You lost your baby? Talk to foxxy! You need encouragement? Talk to foxxy! I liked it when I was just regular-old foxxy. I feel myself becoming more of a recluse nowadays.

Anyway, am I overreacting?

fluttergirlmoonchild79

I don't think you are at all.  I know most days I feel like I'm "that girl" and that it's all anyone wants to talk about it.  It's not that I don't want to talk about it but I don't always want to talk about it.  I'm definitely a recluse.

Petunia844

I think it's completely up to you if you want to be contacted with things like that or not.  Personally, if I can help another loss mom I would be happy to...but then again my loss is further out and I'm pregnant again, both of which obviously have a big impact on things like that.  Ultimately, it doesn't matter though what I would do or anyone else, if you aren't comfortable being in that position, you don't have to be.  Going through something like this does not obligate you to do anything... if it bothers you I would let your friend know that just because you've been through it does not make you her go-to for all things related to loss and pregnancy.  I'm sorry she made you feel like you're in a weird spot here.  Just do what's best for you.

foxxy1

Thanks, ladies! I really appreciate your feedback. After calming down for a bit (I was upset), I feel better.

I think what bothered the most about her request is that she singled me out. She could've just posted a message to everyone asking if they could provide prayers; that wouldn't have bothered me. I'm not saying I won't pray and support her friend because I will. I just didn't think her approach was hmm....smart? Also, waking up to a monstrous temp dip really didn't make me feel any better seeing her message.

Oh to be normal again.

foxxy1

mdharrison:

jalara48:

foxxy1:

I think what bothered the most about her request is that she singled me out. She could've just posted a message to everyone asking if they could provide prayers; that wouldn't have bothered me. I'm not saying I won't pray and support her friend because I will. I just didn't think her approach was hmm....smart? Also, waking up to a monstrous temp dip really didn't make me feel any better seeing her message.

Oh to be normal again.

So she's open to everyone about her loss?

I think that the friend requesting prayers is a common third party between Foxxy and the lady who is experiencing a new loss.  Could be wrong though. 

That's correct. She specifically said in her message to me that she wanted to ask other people for prayer but felt 'they wouldn't understand as well as I did,' hence why she specifically singled me out.

That's the part that bothered me. I pray for a lot of people all time and know nothing remotely about their situations, nor could I relate to them.

Carolee

I'm sorry Foxxy - I feel singled out like that sometimes too.  I feel like I'll be forever known as the woman whose baby died.  Yes, that's sadly true, but there is so much more to me than that.  I'm sorry you're feeling upset.

Bayberry12

A friend came to see me the other day, she has gone through several losses, so she knows what emotions I'm going through now.  She told me one of the best things to do is to connect with other parents who have gone through this, because only they will truly understand.  She said to let them help me, and one day I will be that person helping someone else get through their loss.  I found this upsetting, because I don't want to accept this new life.  But she is right, once you go through this kind of thing, you understand, and your heart is much bigger now.  Like it or not, we all now have this common bond.  

I know it's still so new to you, and if your not ready to be that "go-to" person, don't be.  Say you can't help, your not ready.  Only do things that are good for you right now.  

xo