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October 2012 Moms
elfchique
member
What not to say...
elfchique
member
to someone expecting twin boys.
Keep in mind that we already have an older son.
"I know that we we're all a little disappointed that there wasn't a girl in there but we can settle for two boys. We're really just hoping for two healthy boys. We'll take them as long as they're healthy."
And what exactly am I supposed to do if one or both have heath problems? Send them back? Oh, and we're not that disappointed that they're both boys. That's just you. Dumbass.
I'm so busy listening to what you're saying that I can't hear what you're meaning. Sigh.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What not to say...
My father in law. He meant well? He's so thrilled that we're expecting. I know it just came out poorly. He'd be devastated if something happened and he'd love any baby we had in reality. But I was like, "oh come on!"
Ugh. That's terrible. If your FIL is as excited as you say, I'm sure he didn't mean it that way, but it definitely came out sounding terrible.
Sometimes people don't think before they say things like that. Everyone in my family was hoping for a girl, but we're having a boy. When I called my older sister to tell her the "good news" (that we found out it's a boy), she then asked "So what's the good news?" and laughed. I know she was joking, but it was a stupid thing to say regardless.
Some comments really just deserve to be ignored...
I'm having a third boy, and when people ask if we know what we are having, and we say "another boy" we get a whooooole lot of, "oh, that sucks, I'm sure you wanted a girl this time around." which is usually followed up with the "healthy boy" comments. Ugh. Just say nothing if you have nothing nice to say.
Why can't people just keep their opinions to themselves and say things like, "How exciting!"
Sorry about that, but I know what you mean. I'm having twin boys too and some people have told me that they are "sorry one of them is not a girl". What? We were only planning on 1 pregnancy, so if I didn't have twins and were only carrying 1 baby, who happened to be a boy, would they have been disappointed too?
A good friend of mine has 4 girls. She said what is most awful is when people state their disappointment to her about this in front of one of her daughters - as if her daughter is a disappointment.
Boy do I know how you feel. H's family said basically the same thing...Oh we'll love him anyways...as long as he's healthy...Really? And now my BIL has to say some stupid comment about our name choice because it's an Italian name (my culture) and H is Cuban. I'm sorry I had no idea I wasn't allowed to incorporate my culture into my child's life!
People need to think before they say something. I don't know what it is about pregnancy that make people think they have free reign over their comments and opinions. Keep them to yourself!
YES. This will now be the way that I deal with stupid pregnancy comments/questions.
Sorry about your FIL's comment. Some people jsut don't think before they speak.
I too have an in-law that lacks the sensivity chip! MIL actually said she would have to learn to love a baby girl since she is only used to boys since boys are all that DH's family make. Well...not anymore lady! Another of her wonderful lines is "Well, I'm not really a baby person.". Ok...my family is so don't be upset when I don't ask you to watch her! I swear...if she could only hear herself speak and how it comes across to others it might make her think before the word vomit just spills forth.
Oh. My. Gah.
Maybe I'm being dramatic, but I'd have a hard time letting these people around my kid after making comments like that.