*Loss Check-In*

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies,

I am very sorry to see some new loss Mommas have joined us this week. I hope you can find some comfort here with us. Any lurkers out there please feel free to join in when you are ready. Please feel free to share as much or as little as you would like.

Who IRL have you told all the details of your loss to?

What is something special that you have to remember your LO? (bonus if you PIP!)

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

GTKY: What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use? 

awitt8

Who IRL have you told all the details of your loss to?

My husband knows because he was there. My mom and sister were there for most of it and so I have talked with them. It is just so hard to talk about all of the details with anyone else.

What is something special that you have to remember your LO? (bonus if you PIP!)

The hospital sent us home with a box of things, his blanket that they wrapped him in, some pictures, a lock of his hair, his foot prints and hand prints. We also have a shrub that I bought for my husband for fathers day.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Going back to work next week. I am so nervous and excited about it. Today I have been thinking about Colter a lot. Lots of reminders today.

GTKY: What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use?

Currently Aussie shampoo and Aveno Conditioner.

sloannmark

My husband and in-laws know all of the details, and some close friends know many of the details. Last night we had our first counseling session, so she knows a good chunk of it now.

All we have to remember our sons is their ashes, and I wear some around my neck in a locket. We also have a lot of ultrasound pictures (probably one for every week) since I had IVF and was in the doctor's office all the time.

On my mind this week is the drama with my parents, and thankfully I was able to unload a lot of that in our session last night.

I use Suave (at least this month).

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Who IRL have you told all the details of your loss to?

Anyone and everyone who wants to hear it to be honest.  One of the ways DH and I found it easiest to start feeling a bit better was to call close friends and tell them.

What is something special that you have to remember your LO? (bonus if you PIP!)

The hospital gave us his hand and footprint on a ceramic heart.  DH and I both now have tattoos of that hand and footprint now.  The funeral home made 3D hand and foot plaster molds for us.  At first, I'll be honest, they seemed a little creepy but now I love them.  My mom also bought us necklaces with his hand and footprint on them, his name and dates

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Today Corbin would have been 8 months old.  Keep thinking about what he would be doing right now and keep having little flashes of things he did while he was with us.  My parents are coming down to visit and go house hunting with us this weekend so I keep staring at the houses we're going to look at

GTKY: What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use?

Right now White Rain shampoo and Pantene conditioner.  In a perfect world I'd use Pureology or Redkin

jbranden12

Who IRL have you told all the details of your loss to?

Everyone knows that Patricia was born sleeping. Only my close family, work friends, and a few friends who have visited have gotten the full story of her birth, seen her pictures, and learned about how perfect she was. I would tell anyone who asked, I love sharing her story.

What is something special that you have to remember your LO? (bonus if you PIP!)

We have a memory box full of things from the hospital, an album I made to remember my pregnancy and her birth, and cards from her baby shower and ones people sent after her birth. We also have her ashes in an engraved box with her pictures on the sides.  

ETA, like Petunia I can't believe I forgot my ring! Two days after she was born, me and DH went shopping because I wanted to get a ring I could wear every day. It has an aquamarine in a heart for Patricia with two hearts beside it with tiny diamonds for me and DH. It is so dainty and beautiful, it was like it was waiting there in the store for us.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I am in the 2ww, so that is on my mind. DH and I have also decided that it's time for him to make a move in his career, which means leaving his job and going back to school full time. I am proud of him for making this decision, but I know it could be a difficult time for us. I need to do a little bit of work on myself, because lately I have been so negative and have difficulty believing that any of our plans will work out or that our efforts will pay off. I don't want to be like this.

GTKY: What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use?

Over a year ago, my mom bought me two HUGE bottles each of Redken Body Full shampoo and conditioner. I'm still working on the second pair!

Petunia844

Who IRL have you told the details of your loss to? I'm very open about our son, I feel like too few people know/understand what it's like and if I can help break the silence about late loss I'm happy to do it.  Anybody who asks there's no question I won't answer... that being said, of course we know not too many people ask.  I have a blog with all the details of everything and how I'm doing now and I gave that link to all of my friends/family to read/follow if they choose.  It makes me feel less lonely to know that people are at least trying to understand my life.

Something special to remember him? We have a memory box, that has photos, hospital bracelet, hand/foot prints, I book I like read him, an ornament for our Christmas tree with his hand/foot prints, an ornament from last year's "ornament's of hope" exchange we did on this board with his name on it, the blanket he was wrapped in, the sleeper he was wearing, a book I made out of the blog I had for him and his death certificate.  Then I also have a Christian's Beach photo of his name in the sand printed and hanging in our office, and I also have a picture frame on my night stand that has a photo of his feet and a maternity photo of me and DH with him.

ETA: I can't believe I forgot my necklace.  After he died I was obsessed with finding the perfect necklace, it's opal (his birth stone) and has his initials and birth date engraved on the back.  I'm also going to get a tattoo for him, but can't do that yet because I'm pregnant.

Open Topic: Not too much to put here off the top of my head.

What kind of shampoo/conditioner: Honestly whatever is on sale/cheapest when I go look...bonus if it smells tasty.

karebear57

Who IRL have you told all the details of your loss to? My mom and sister, and my dad. I don't think anyone else would care to know. I'd tell if anyone asked though.

What is something special that you have to remember your LO? (bonus if you PIP!) I got a charm bracelet and whenever I see a charm that makes me think of my lil girl ( and I have the $$!) I'll get it. I also have this opal ( her birthstone) ring that I got years ago and I make sure to wear it everyday now. I also have a blanket I got from the hospital that she was swaddled in, her footprints, an id band (not the one she wore though =() I made a baby/memory book for her with all the u/s pics and some of her and some of her brothers. I also bought a doll for her over christmas that I sleep with everyday. I've got a pink and butterfly urn with her ashes next to my bed and I also have a butterfly urn necklace and a charm I just got from a friend with her initial (thank you carey!)

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? As always, Brianna...how old she'd be (5 months) what she would have looked like, stuff like that. How much I love my boys. How hot it is here, 100's! And how I've got to run to the grocery real soon!

GTKY: What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use? Aveeno for colored hair I just did my hair last month.

tuscanbride2007

Who IRL have you told all the details of your loss to?

I have told my close friends but mostly because they are the only ones that have asked. I don't offer much information freely, but will answer any question anyone asks.

What is something special that you have to remember your LO? (bonus if you PIP!)

We also have a memory box that the hospital gave us, but I don't really look at the stuff inside. My MIL gave me a bracelet for Mother's Day with DD #1's initial and birthstone and Annabelle's birthstone and an angel. I wear it every day and feel naked without it (like I forgot to bring her with me). I sometimes feel like it is my security blanket.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

My birthday coming up in a few weeks. Last year at this time, we were TTC and since I am no spring chicken, was worried about whether we would be able to. I was relieved when I got a BFP. Now here we are again, a year later wondering if we are going to have another child.

GTKY: What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use?

Pantene mostly because I like the way it smells and it is inexpensive.

philfemgal

Who IRL have you told all the details of your loss to?

My wife was there for it all.  And I have told my mom, dad, and aunt who came into town to be with us the day after I delivered Alice.  Also I told our closest friends most of what happened in terms of the labor and delivery a few days afterward.  But even so there are some details of later things that we have only told my mom involving the autopsies on Alice and B.  Also I think in terms of our actual feelings now, I think it's really only our therapists and probably my mom who we really tell all the details to.

What is something special that you have to remember your LO? (bonus if you PIP!)

We have a memory box too, with pictures the hospital took, a blanket she was held in, a little hat and robe type thing she was wearing in the pictures, foot and handprints on a card, on the box, and on a seashell type thing with clay.  I also got the tattoo in my signature on my right upper back/shoulder.  And a few weeks after having Alice when I had to leave town for the first time I bought a ring with a garnet, Alice's birth stone--just a very cheap ring as we intended to both get a nicer one eventually--but I ended up liking this one a lot and haven't taken it off for more than a minute since then.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I have a job interview tomorrow.  And we have family coming in tomorrow.  And we have a new kitten we are introducing to our other pets.  And we are TTC.  So kind of just a busy/stressful few days, but hopefully fun once I am passed the interview.

GTKY: What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use?

Suave usually.

Bayberry12

Who IRL have you told all the details of your loss to?

My husband was with me the whole time and so was my mom.  My Brother, MIL, FIL & SIL all came to the hospital, but none of them came in to see me.  I have talked to one friend about the details. And we talked about it in the support group we went to.

 What is something special that you have to remember your LO? (bonus if you PIP!)

We have ultrasound pictures, it makes me cry to look at them.  A whole room full of baby things, I never go in there.  We were also given a memory box, but I haven't opened it yet.

 Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Having a baby. Getting in shape.  Trying to do "normal" things.

GTKY: What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use? 

Pantine right now, but I switch it up now and then.