I have my 6 week pp visit on Friday and need some advice on if I should bring this up to my doctor or not.
Here is a little back story: I had DD in 2010. I had an emergency c-section with her. I never got to hear her cry, family members all got to hold her before I even knew I had a daughter. I had a really rough few months after. I was crying all the time, felt like a failure since I could not birth my daughter the way I imagined I would. It wasn't until DD was older that I started to have issues, particularly with DH's mom and his family. It drove me crazy that mother in law would, as I see it try and out buy DH and I with gifts for DD. She bought things that we told her we were going to buy DD, put from Santa on all of her gifts at Christmas time and I would get completely angry and upset about that. I also find myself irritated with DH's uncle following around DD with a camera and taking pictures of her. This does not bother me with anyone else but him. I also cannot stand the thought of DD (or DS now) being left in the care of MIL. I am afraid that she is going to try and take them away from us, that something will happen to them when they are there, and do not even get me started on allowing her to drive around with our kids in the car, there really is no apparent reason for this. She has never been in an accident due to her driving. I did not/ sometimes still feel like I have not bonded with DD the way that I should be.
Fast forward to now: And I am still having these feelings. I wish I could make things better and I am not sure where these feelings towards my MIL have come from because with the exception of a few things MIL and I have always had a good relationship. However the thought of her caring for my children, buying things for them without me knowing about it first brings me such anxiety.
This is the major issue, but besides this I feel like I have such a short temper and get irritated for no reason. I get frustrated with DD for no reason and even DH for the littlest things like not calling me on his way home from work when he leaves.There are times while I love my kids, I wonder if I was cut out to be a mom. I also worry a lot about things that I cannot exactly control.
It has gotten so bad that when I do get frustrated I often feel like, I just want to run away leave everything behind and just go. Although I know myself I would never do that but I have thought it.
I have always had some issues with worrying and getting irritated easily, however I feel like it has gotten a lot worse since having DD nearly 2 years ago. I am not sure if this is related to PPD/PPA or a another underlying issue.
Does this sound like something I should talk to my OB about? Or go else where?
I have tried working on these things on my own but it does not seem to be helping and now is starting to take affect my relationship with DH.