So sick of feeling trapped :(

mkflower3000

DD is not the world's fussiest baby, but she's definitely fussy in general... She's rarely happy for long stretches when she's awake, and demands to be fed every time that she does wake up (regardless of whether she had a full nursing session 1/2 before, or 2 hours before the start of her nap). She's also not the world's best napper overall, won't take a pacifier, hates all of our carriers so far, and wakes up easily when moved in any way (although she doesn't seem to have an issue sleeping through loud noise). Also, I BF, and while I do pump a little (when she lets me have enough time to), I haven't had a chance to do it for long enough to build a decent stash and leave her with someone for a few hours.

Because she's so unpredictable and not a very content baby, I feel like I can't go anywhere for any significant length of time. I'm afraid to take her on long walks around town, go to the farmer's market, out to lunch, shopping... Anything. It's starting to become really hard and frustrating. I know that she's still really young, but I'm just coming out of the baby blues and it seems like it would be so much easier to start enjoying motherhood if I didn't feel so trapped and confined. If I could just feel less anxious about leaving the house and doing a couple of normal things each week with DD in tow (I'm not even saying every day - just once or twice here and there), I think that it would be a whole lot easier to stabilize my emotions...

Anyone else feel this way? When does it get better? Also, when do LOs go from spending most of their awake time crying, to being a little bit more calm and personable? I always looked to the 4-6 week mark for things to start improving (from the people that I've talked to, for some reason it seemed like this was the period when they started to emerge from the newborn haze and slowly make their way toward some sort of parenting normalcy), but with DD so close to 4 weeks and still so difficult to manage, I feel like I'm holding out hope for nothing and will have to wait MUCH longer to enjoy doing things with her ::sigh:: 

jennyelf

Are there any new mom support groups in your area? The Jewish Family and Children's Services (JF&CS) run a bunch of groups in my area. I found them to be really useful in getting me out of the house and in an environment where a fussy baby was accepted. After I got used to dealing with a fussy baby in that setting, I was more willing to deal with a fussy baby in other public settings.

MelissaMiso

My close friend has three kids and she told me the other day that she would NEVER want to relive the first 6 weeks of any of her kids' lives.

bellelamb

Put your lo in the car put the stroller in the car and go out. If I had waited for my now 20 month old to get easier we would have never left the house, instead I've taken him out at least three times a week since week two even now with my lo we still go out all the time.  

Most babies fussy ones will sleep in their car seat while your out and if they wake up and cry its no big deal people understand and will sympathise with you.  If lo needs to eat go to a dressing room or your car if you don't want to nip.  Trust me after the first time or two it's not scary and you'll be glad you did.

Ps most babies who don't like to be worn can tell your unsure about it so it makes them fussy. If you get comfortable with the carrier lo may learn to love it.  

Dana&Pete

I know how you feel! I haven't left the house by myself with the baby yet, but I have gone out with either my husband or my mom to do fast errands. That way if the baby fusses, someone can leave with him and comfort him. It has gone very smoothly so far, and he pretty much sleeps the whole time. I also have met another new mom in the neighborhood and we are going to start walking together.

Have you looked into your local La Leche League group? This would be a baby-friendly outing you can do where no one will judge if the baby is fussy.  

starrynight1658

DS is an easy baby, and I still felt the way you do. I started by taking him for walks in his stroller; that way if he got really fussy, we could always turn around and come home. Then we started taking him grocery shopping together and that way one of us could go to the car with him if he started screaming. I found the more places we took him, the more acclimated he became to different sights/sounds/places. 

We try to take him out when he's just been fed, changed and has had a nap recently to avoid meltdown potential. But we also figure, hey, he's a baby, and sometimes they cry. People have heard it before and he'll be ok. Our DS can definitely since when we're anxious, so it's been helpful if we stay calm, even if he's not.

lolabunny919

OP...I think we have the same baby. My LO acts the exact same way. We will get through this ;-)

NatPhoto09

I can not stay at home so I usually plan a daily trip and I have to pick up DS#1 from school so we get out 1-2 times daily.  I figure he will either cry at home or out so why not be out.  He usually knocks out once I put him in his car seat and stays asleep.  Venture out maybe your LO will surprise you. 

winter-shock

bellelamb:

Put your lo in the car put the stroller in the car and go out. If I had waited for my now 20 month old to get easier we would have never left the house, instead I've taken him out at least three times a week since week two even now with my lo we still go out all the time.  

Most babies fussy ones will sleep in their car seat while your out and if they wake up and cry its no big deal people understand and will sympathise with you.  If lo needs to eat go to a dressing room or your car if you don't want to nip.  Trust me after the first time or two it's not scary and you'll be glad you did.

Ps most babies who don't like to be worn can tell your unsure about it so it makes them fussy. If you get comfortable with the carrier lo may learn to love it.  

 

I tend to agree with this. 

fisherseamon

I have been bf too, but I give my LO formula occassionally too.  It seems to make him more content when he doesn't feed well and I just will pump during that feeding. It has helped me build a supply and calmed down some fussy days, plus I have left a bottle for the hubby and gotten some me time for a couple hours.  I don't know if you are against formula, but it has been a life saver for us a d allowed me to get away for a short time to decompress.  My little guy was a lazy eater and I felt guilty at first for supplementing once in awhile, but it has actually working out well.  Don't beat yourself up if BF doesn't always satisfy her.

KrystinLC

Crying actually peaks at 6 weeks, but your almost past it.  I felt and feel sometimes still really cooped up. To help with that I started going for short strolls with my husband and baby in the evenings. I get fresh air and baby gets some new stimulation. Usually, she's happy to look at the trees and listen to birds for most of the stroll and sometimes falls asleep by the time we get back. 

I also found to tire baby out, we play alot. I put her under a play gym and make the toys make noise for her to find and move them around so she can follow them. She has alot of fun with it and is usually ready to eat and sleep by the end.