I'm having a sad day (ticker warning)

Gizu92708

I'm just having an "I can't stop crying kind of day" . I'm happy that I am pregnant again and that everything looks ok. But I just miss Enzo soooooooo much. On Sunday it will be 6 months that he has been gone. It's not possible. I read johnnys June post below and when she wrote about having a baby in the back seat this time made me cry so hard. I remember when I left the hospital without Enzo and I just felt robbed. I feel like I'm not attached to this pregnancy and just wonder if I will ever have an LO in the backseat. That seems so impossible . I guess I'm just hormonal these last couple of weeks. I can't believe we have to go through so much pain and sadness. Lots of hugs to all of you. This loss road is sooooo difficult. I wish I could bring all our babies back...

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Big, huge hugs to you.  I went through the 6 month point a few weeks ago and it was very, very hard - and I'm not pregnant.  I can't imagine dealing with such a difficult milestone and being pregnant at the same time.  It's ok to have a "can't stop crying" kind of day. I hope things get better for you.

jbranden12

I'm sorry Gizu. We are ttc our rainbow and I will likely have the same thoughts and feelings. This is so incredibly difficult and I wish none of us had to go through it.

foxxy1

*HUGS* Me and DH are currently TTCing for our rainbow and I wonder from time to time about bringing the baby home.

You'll always mourn what was lost and what would've been. It doesn't make you any less of a momma to the LO you're carrying; you're still a grieving mother for Enzo and you'll always love him, even though you're happy about the rainbow growing inside you.

MeggM1

Six months is a huge milestone.  And it's such a hard concept that as you are moving further away from the time you had with Enzo that you are moving (with lots of hope and prayer) closer to meeting your rainbow baby.  I still blamed some of my erratic thinking and grief on post-pregnancy hormones at six months, so I can only imagine what you are going through now with pregnancy hormones!

I totally feel the same way, thinking about whether or not I will ever have a healthy delivery where I get to room in with my baby and get to leave the hospital with them in the back seat.  I agree, I can't believe how much pain or sadness we all have to go through.  Hugs to you too. 

littlepenguin2012

Gizu- I am so sorry you are having a rough day/patch.  I understand what you are going through- we just passed the 6 month mark a little while ago and I was surprised how really truly hard it was, especially being pregnant again.  Please PM me if you want to talk.  Big ((hugs)) to you.