Questions for Working Moms - make me look wise

Creedon778

Every few months my company holds a call for our parenting network.  This time around they are doing multiple calls, with each call focused on a separate child age group.  I've been asked to be a panelist for the newborn - 18 months panel.  They sent me a list of questions in advance and I listed a few below.  If you have any insights please share!

1. If you had to impart one piece of advice upon new moms or dads as they return to work from parental leave, what would it be?

2. What books or resources have been especially helpful to you in preparing for or raising your child?

3. How do you handle ?guilt? (e.g., potentially not being around for milestones like standing up for the first time) as a working parent of a young child?

4. Do you have any tips for becoming more comfortable with leaving your child at daycare/with someone else?

Fianschneid

Creedon778:

Every few months my company holds a call for our parenting network.  This time around they are doing multiple calls, with each call focused on a separate child age group.  I've been asked to be a panelist for the newborn - 18 months panel.  They sent me a list of questions in advance and I listed a few below.  If you have any insights please share!

1. If you had to impart one piece of advice upon new moms or dads as they return to work from parental leave, what would it be? As silly as it sounds, your LO is a little individual person. Just like you and your SO need some time to yourself, it is good for your LO to have their own world and their own time. My DD loves daycare and smiles and kicks every morning at drop off when she sees her friends. The first day was a killer. The second day was hard. Now, I know it is something we, as a family all need.  

2. What books or resources have been especially helpful to you in preparing for or raising your child? I really liked "Bringing Up Bebe". Reading that daycare is very common in other cultures helped me deal with the guilt of leaving DD.

3. How do you handle ?guilt? (e.g., potentially not being around for milestones like standing up for the first time) as a working parent of a young child? Honestly, I don't even think about it. If any of her firsts have taken place at daycare, they've been polite enough to keep it to themselves. The first time I witness something is as good as the first time to me. They did offer to start her on solids at daycare and I told them that, as a first time mom, I preferred to give her her first at home.

4. Do you have any tips for becoming more comfortable with leaving your child at daycare/with someone else? Do as much research as possible and talk to other parents at the daycare. It helped me a lot to see that other mothers and fathers trusted these people with their children (some of them multiple children). Talk to your DOC every day at drop off and pick up to learn about what your LO is up to all day. This also lets you know how much individual attention LO is getting.

blu-eyedwife

1. If you had to impart one piece of advice upon new moms or dads as they return to work from parental leave, what would it be? The best thing we did when I returned to work wasn't intentional.  Because of our daycare situation, DH had to stay home my first 2 days back.  He was able to send me pictures throughout the day, and I felt good knowing his first days away from me were with his dad.  We were able to gauge how many bottles he needed this way also.

Along the same lines, if you have the option, don't start on a Monday.  Starting on a Wednesday or Thursday gives you a couple of days of work and then the weekend, which is a nicer way to ease back in than being away from your baby for a whole week right off the bat.

2. What books or resources have been especially helpful to you in preparing for or raising your child? The only book that we've read/used is Happiest Baby on the Block.  Which was great.  All our other resources for prepartion and those early days came from our prenatal classes.  Which were fantastic.  I actually gave the resources we were given to a friend of mine when she had her baby and she found them really helpful too.

3. How do you handle ?guilt? (e.g., potentially not being around for milestones like standing up for the first time) as a working parent of a young child? DH has this more than I do, but I try to remind him that we can just consider those milestones as "firsts" when he does them at home with us. 

4. Do you have any tips for becoming more comfortable with leaving your child at daycare/with someone else? I think this one really depends on the personality of the child, and there's not a lot you can control as a parent.  It's obviously much easier to be comfortable when your baby seems really happy with the childcare, and harder if they cling and cry. 

I will say that from the parent's side, a lot of it is perspective.  Remind yourself about how great it is for your baby to get the social benefits of childcare, how it helps them be more comfortable with "strangers"  (we still haven't had any weird stranger fear), and how it helps develop their immune system before they hit grade school.  And if you treat it like it's the greatest thing on earth then they're more apt to be happy with it.  Save the tears for the car after dropoff!

Creedon778

Thanks ladies - these are great!  I agree that the transition back is hardest the first day and gets easier.  And as far as the firsts go I told my MIL not to tell me if he does something for the first time and thankfully the daycare keeps it to themselves too.

I read Happiest Baby on the Block and agree that's a good one.  DH read Bringing up Bebe and really liked it (he sweats the French).