Daily meltdowns at DC pickup - suggestions?

CHS2005

Everyday my almost 4 year old has a meltdown at pick up from DC and I am at a loss as to what to do. Today it was about not having enough snacks (DC gives them out and I have them in the car), some days its about DH not being there (he almost never does pick up so no reason for ds to expect it), some days its about not liking the way we go left to get home instead of right... you get  the idea. I really don't think its about  him not wanting to leave or sad about leaving friends but more about the fact that DS is really, really sensitive and I think DC can be overwhelming for him. I think its more about the idea that as soon as he can fall apart he does - but it makes pick up hard, day after day after day. I tried taking more time at pick up, less, being stricter, more loose - nothing is helping. Any suggestions? TIA

la79al

My first thought is that he sounds tired.  Or if not tired (there's no way mine would nap at 4) then at least like he needs a break, so I totally agree with DC being too overwhelming for him.  Is DC giving him notice that you are on your way?  Might be helpful to give them a call 5 minutes out so he's more ready for the transition.

CHS2005

Sometimes if he is really tired, he will fall asleep in the car and I will just leave him for an hour or so. He doesn't really have a problem going to sleep at bedtime even after a late nap. You suggestion about calling is a good one- I will try that. 

 Any other suggestions for a tired, overwhelmed kid? I usually just feed him, but any suggestions would be appreciated. 

neverblushed

I think your sense that he is a sensitive kid who, after "holding it together" all day, can finally relax in the safety of your presence and have the stress-busting meltdown he has wanted to have all day.  The fact that he has enough self control to "save it up" for your arrival is actually a pretty good thing for a kid his age.

I think you can handle this in one of two ways:

1) Trust that if you don't overreact to this, that he'll gradually grow out of it.  (Although I have to say that when my 11 y/o returned from camp this year, she regaled us with stories of "how awesome" camp was while reclaiming her position in the family by bugging her brother and being a pill about chores... so in some senses it NEVER changes! ;-)

2) Try to set up a special routine or ritual for pick up that allows him to reconnect with you and let out his stress in a way other than having a meltdown over some small pretext.  If he's a very verbal kid, some type of routine conversation about the day might help. If he's a more physical kid, walking or running outside the school might be a way to ease the transition.  My son is also sensitive, and in his case, he just needed quiet time after school.  I always gave him 20 or 30 minutes of computer playtime when we got home so he could veg in peace.