Vent-Another family party/torture this weekend

dhreczuck

I have family gathering on Saturday with my entire family, 50+ relatives, which includes my pregnant sister and my very pregnant cousin. I've been very depressed this month, with my messed up hormones and just really the weight of everything. I know other ladies on this board can sympathize, it's so hard to be around other pregnant women, especially those within your same age range. It just seems so unfair, why did I have to be the one to have the m/c's, not that I would wish that on anyone.

I'm going to take the advice everyone gave me last time and just walk away when the topic turns to something that makes me upset. I know I'm probably making it out to seem worse than it actually will be, or at least that's what I'm hoping for. At the end of the day, I'm going to accept that I may cry at some point, and that if I do it's perfectly ok and the world will go on..

owlprof

Family gatherings can be so hard.  Maybe you can just hang out with the guys...at our family functions all they seem to talk about is sports.  But it's totally okay to cry.  hugs.

Somewhat off topic, but a little bit related -- for any Dallas fans out there:  I was watching an old Dallas episode, and Pam and Bobby just found out they were pregnant.  JR and SueEllen were *not* pregnant, and upon finding out (at a big bbq at Southfork), SueEllen proceeded to get rip roaring, sharing bedroom details with church ladies, drunk.  I am thinking about going this route the next time I am in a similar situation.

dhreczuck

HA! Ok that makes me laugh because now I can actually think about how my life is kind of like a Dallas episode..and that will help!

I do plan on having a few drinks, unfortunately I notice the more I drink the more emotional I become so I'll have to curb it a little bit and I will probably be hanging onto DH's leg the entire time...lol

BabyVDM

But I totally understand your apprehension and dread as well.  But maybe it won't be so bad.  And you have your plan, avoid and diffuse. 

You're going to do just fine. 

happywifemomofone

BabyVDM:

But I totally understand your apprehension and dread as well.  But maybe it won't be so bad.  And you have your plan, avoid and diffuse. 

You're going to do just fine. 

This!  You will get through the family parties.  Think this whole experience makes you more aware and understanding of where others might be in their journey-if you haven't had these experiences, it's difficult to understand.  Hoping that all your worry is for nothing and that you will be successful with you plan to avoid and diffuse.

MrsNukem

Cry if you need to, it will be ok.  You did great at your last family gathering, you can do it again.  Stay strong!

amg51077

Ugh...maybe it wont be too bad.  You got to take care of yourself...dont feel bad about walking away..I hope it works out for you

Mayzie15

We've had a couple of family functions like the one you described above and they are never easy for me either - I'm not sure if you can do what MH and I have done in the past -  but we show up but don't stay the entire time it has helped me to have an out if I need it.  I'm hoping you have a good time and you aren't uncomfortable - but I agree with you if you need to cry then you need to cry and it's okay.

BeckyP005

Hang in there girl! You did such an awesome job at your last family gathering and I know that you can do it again. It's difficult I know but when you start feeling sad think of all of us and we will be sending you some "stay strong" vibes....

cojourney24

It can be so hard to be around pregnant people when you are trying. Especially after a loss. I can't even imagine how hard it must be after several losses. I like the hang out with the guys approach. I hope it goes better than anticipated.

 

randi0606

I am so sorry honey ... and believe me I know just what you are going through ... i tend to ingore the questions .. as soon as anyone asks when are you guys going to start having children I say maybe some day and the walk off and act like i am mingeling .. does it suck . um yeah it does normally by the end of the day i am warn out .. i only have to work about this on his side of the family .. so by the end of the event emotionally i am drained just because of the remarks that i know are being said behind my back ... is it your family or his? can you possible just send him without you?  Again I honestly know that its going to be a long long day and I am sending you nothng but good vibes to get thru!

HeatherIcon

I know exactly how you feel...all too well. I have been avoiding so many events lately I almost feel like a hermit.

Over the weekend. I was up ruminating about all of my tries, my naughty coping skills and just feeling crummy. 

I woke up and decided that I needed to feel some control again. This IVF-DE-disappointment cycle is terrible. I think it so unfair. This is a control thing to me, I have none and it stinks.

The moral to my rant above..

Be strong. It is so hard. Try to surround yourself with peace and know that you are not alone. Stay busy at the party, move around and visit with each person for a moment then move on..or do what I do, leave after an hour or two...

 

dhreczuck

Its all my family, and I started to feel bad yesterday about implying that it would be torture. I'm really lucky to have a large family that is fairly close and I know they all mean well even though sometimes things come out the wrong way and that they all grieved right along side us. We're never alone in this journey even though I feel so alone sometimes. I'm going to try and focus on enjoying my time spent with them and not dwell on what I don't have right now and keep a reasonable distance from the KU ladies. I thought about canceling but talked to my sister yesterday and she could really use my help, I don't want to let her down so off we go....I talked DH into taking Monday off work so we can spend the day on the ocean Sunday and do some kayaking, def something to look forward to. Thanks Ladies!