I have been reading your posts for almost 2 months now and have gained a lot of comfort in seeing other women and men surviving the loss of their sweet babies. It is a strange kind of comfort to know that you are not alone in something so devastating. I wish that none of us had to go through this.
My husband and I lost our first son, Braxton, on April 23rd. I couldn't feel movement that evening, and after trying everything to get our little man moving, we went to Labor and Deliver and had our worst fears confirmed. No heartbeat. His heartbeat had always been so strong. I delivered Braxton on April 25th. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and my husband was so proud of his dark wavy hair. He was perfect.
We don't know why Braxton was stillborn. The autopsy was inconclusive and all the blood work did not give us an answer. I have gone over the events of the days leading up to losing our baby over and over. I tried so hard to do everything right. I have been told by several doctors and nurses that it was nothing that I did or didn't do that caused us to lose Braxton, but truly believing that has been one of my hardest struggles. Now, two months later, I know that it was not my fault, but even saying that brings tears to my eyes. I just miss my baby boy so much and wish he could be here with his daddy and me.