OB vent at d&c follow up

ShellBear+

So yesterday I had my d&c follow up appt. just shy of two weeks after the surgery. My OB was out on vacation when this happened so another OB in the practice is the one who did it. He didn't do an exam like my other ob does so it was just to talk.  So he tells me that he recommends waiting 6 months to ttc again.  I asked him why and he tells me that I have just had my uterus scraped out and that I need time to heal and build up the lining and I don't want another m/c.  I get that but I don't see why so long.  My previous two m/c's my ob always said 2 cycles.  So I asked him if this is always his standard waiting period and he said yes.  I told him I wasn't waiting the 6 months but ok. We went back and forth on alot of other stuff and I think he is clueless on fertility stuff.   

He told me I'm risking having another m/c if I get pregnant quickly.  Yeah well none of my m/c were due to inadequate lining.  I just felt like he had no sympathy for the fact that I am ama and I don't have all the time in the world to wait.  I am all for taking doctor's advice but I think 6 months is excessive.  So I pointed out that plenty of women get pg right away and have no problem and he said that women also smoke crack and have healthy babies.  At that point I was just upset and wanted to get out of there. He left me feeling like something is definitley wrong with me and I'm stupid to get pg again.  Thank god I will never go back to see him again. 

Country Girl in the City

That is so inappropriate to bring up crack babies and to make you feel stupid.  I am so sorry that happened to you.  Can you do another follow up with your regular doctor?

MrsNukem

I agree you should reschedule another appt with your regular doctor, this one sounds very inconsiderate of your situation and lacks bedside manner.  My OB told me 1 cycle after my D&C.  I would not wait 6 months, that's ridiculous, get a 2nd opinion if need be. 

dhreczuck

Your instincts are right, he is clueless or just old school. I've heard different things from different Drs but no one ever suggested waiting more than 3 months, the general rule of thumb is to wait for at least one full cycle just to make sure everything's back to normal. My RE also says 1 full cycle. I'm sorry you had to deal with someone with not the best bedside manner.

ShellBear+

Thank you both.  I know I am super sensitive right now but the more I thought about it later, I felt he was defiitely inappropriate and rude.  At this point I plan to go back to my RE if or when I need help again. 

gundy21

I would also contact the clinic to let them know how rude and inappropriate that doc was, the crack babies comment was completely uncalled for.

lovelyday39

I'm so sorry that happened to you! I hope you can talk to your regular OB to get some reassurance and to share what happened to you on that appt.

BabyVDM

After my 1st mc the doctors told me to wait 3 cycles (I was just 40 at the time).  I told DH I didn't want to wait, because time was of the essence.  DH refused to TTC until the waiting period was over, because he was concerned for my health and Doctor recommended waiting.   After my 2nd mc the doctors said, wait 2 cycles.  DH again refused to TTC until recommended waiting period.

When we went to fertility specialist and told him we were waiting for the 2-3 cycles after MC to TTC again.  He said, why would you wait? We explained that we were instructed to wait.  He said "I don't know why they would tell you that.  There is no reason you should wait." DH got really upset, because we wasted 5 cycles and more than 6 months.  He is still not over it.

Mind you, both MCs I waited to complete naturally.  I'm not sure what the recovery is from DC. 

 

ShellBear+

BabyVDM:

After my 1st mc the doctors told me to wait 3 cycles (I was just 40 at the time).  I told DH I didn't want to wait, because time was of the essence.  DH refused to TTC until the waiting period was over, because he was concerned for my health and Doctor recommended waiting.   After my 2nd mc the doctors said, wait 2 cycles.  DH again refused to TTC until recommended waiting period.

When we went to fertility specialist and told him we were waiting for the 2-3 cycles after MC to TTC again.  He said, why would you wait? We explained that we were instructed to wait.  He said "I don't know why they would tell you that.  There is no reason you should wait." DH got really upset, because we wasted 5 cycles and more than 6 months.  He is still not over it.

Mind you, both MCs I waited to complete naturally.  I'm not sure what the recovery is from DC. 

 

 

Thanks for the reply.  This is my thinking too.  Why should I wait at all because my body won't get pregnant if its not ready right? 

Strunella

I was told after both of my D&Cs that I should wait 2 cycles before TTC again.  The first time, we waited.  The second time, we didn't.  I've never heard of waiting 6 months before....that seems excessive. 

emikat

That's just terrible.  I'm sorry that happened to you.  My regular OB at my follow up told me that she usually recommends waiting 3 months after before TTC, but that's mostly for emotional healing reasons and given my AMA status that she doesn't advise waiting more than one cycle.  I even asked her what would happen if we got pregnant the first month (on the basis of having to use protection to prevent it if it was really that bad to get pregnant right away) and she said "probably nothing" and didn't recommend we use any protection.  I went to see an RE within 2 weeks of my D&C and he has no problem with me cycling this month for an IVF (D&C was at the end of April).  I hate doctors that think they know it all when clearly there is evidence that they are wrong and how dare someone make you feel like that.  Again, so sorry for that happening to you.  

ShellBear+

emikat:

That's just terrible.  I'm sorry that happened to you.  My regular OB at my follow up told me that she usually recommends waiting 3 months after before TTC, but that's mostly for emotional healing reasons and given my AMA status that she doesn't advise waiting more than one cycle.  I even asked her what would happen if we got pregnant the first month (on the basis of having to use protection to prevent it if it was really that bad to get pregnant right away) and she said "probably nothing" and didn't recommend we use any protection.  I went to see an RE within 2 weeks of my D&C and he has no problem with me cycling this month for an IVF (D&C was at the end of April).  I hate doctors that think they know it all when clearly there is evidence that they are wrong and how dare someone make you feel like that.  Again, so sorry for that happening to you.  

Thanks so much for sharing that, it makes me feel alot better.  Good luck to you too.

Mayzie15

Wow - what an insensitive doctor to make those type of comments to you - I'm sorry you had to go through that after everything else you have had to deal with.  I feel bad for any of the ladies that see him as their main doctor - if it were me I would complain to whoever you can - so that others don't experience this same terrible bed side manner he has - what a jerk and I would definitely get a second opinion.