Someone Please Get MIL Out of My Face for the Next Two Weeks!

StrawberryAlarmClock

MIL (in her own special self-centered way) thinks DH and I are hiding our name choice from her. We told her we honestly don't know and have to meet DD first. We went to the hospital with two full name options for DS and ended up mixing/matching them on a whim and that's what we went with. She will not believe us that we truly haven't decided yet. 

I think her deal is that one of the names we were tossing around a few months ago (and isn't even on our short list anymore) was in honor of my mother. The jealousy just about suffocated MIL and she went into overdrive trying to get us to give DD her MN, Rose. 

If I get one more text like this one, I may be doing 25 to life. Unless the judge is a new mom with MIL issues. Then maybe I'll get off with probation.

C&P of actual MIL text:

We just love our little bundle of Joy already. We think  Joy would be a wonderful name. How about Joy Rose. I really don't know what names you have already since you are being secretive so maybe you already thought of this one. If you did it gets my vote. 

Isn't she a peach? 

evaazalea

Lol she sounds, um, fun? You are so far along now you'd think she'd drop it and just wait the three weeks, geez. I will assume giving her fake names would totally backfire and just encourage her more at this point. 

StrawberryAlarmClock

TysMomPlusOne:

Lol she sounds, um, fun? You are so far along now you'd think she'd drop it and just wait the three weeks, geez. I will assume giving her fake names would totally backfire and just encourage her more at this point. 

LOL. We actually thought of that. We were going to come up with something horrible and tell her that was our pick but we were afraid she'd go get a bunch of things embroidered and engraved!! Hah

Aligator28

Wowzers! 

Marsee

StrawberryAlarmClock:

TysMomPlusOne:

Lol she sounds, um, fun? You are so far along now you'd think she'd drop it and just wait the three weeks, geez. I will assume giving her fake names would totally backfire and just encourage her more at this point. 

LOL. We actually thought of that. We were going to come up with something horrible and tell her that was our pick but we were afraid she'd go get a bunch of things embroidered and engraved!! Hah

Text her back with this:

OK, fine. Since you keep bugging me, I'll tell you the name. Just promise not to tell anyone else. We REALLY want to keep this a secret. The name is Jenna Taylia and we can't wait to meet her!

She probably won't get how awesome this name is unless she says it out loud. And if she does get a bunch of stuff engraved, she'll end up feeling pretty stupid and it'd be a great story to tell your DD some day. Not to mention, you'd get a giggle out of it every time you see one of the engraved items. I'd totally do it.   

alimaried

SO sorry! The whole "delusional MIL who truly believes everything in everyone else's life is her domain" thing is a stinkin' epidemic, I swear! I was in a serious relationship with a nice guy who had a mother like this and I'm thanking my lucky stars we ended it before kids ever became a topic of discussion. I chuckled at the idea of giving her a decoy name that's horrible just to get at her....but really that will probably mean more nagging in your ear, so stick it out sister! It's your decision and she'll believe whatever hype she can create to keep herself busy so....

gimmietimmies

StrawberryAlarmClock:

TysMomPlusOne:

Lol she sounds, um, fun? You are so far along now you'd think she'd drop it and just wait the three weeks, geez. I will assume giving her fake names would totally backfire and just encourage her more at this point. 

LOL. We actually thought of that. We were going to come up with something horrible and tell her that was our pick but we were afraid she'd go get a bunch of things embroidered and engraved!! Hah

I did this to some of DH's relatives with DS. They were beyond ridiculous with their demands on what we named him. They weren't even suggestions, it was more like, you will name your kid this, or else. My repsonse, oh yeah, you and what army??? So we gave them a completely crazy made up name, and we were serious about it (to them anyway). When DS came, they were relieved. The name was something like Poindexter Nimrod (I think, Nimrod was the MN for sure).

So for each of the girls, we did the same thing, and it ended up being a game because they figured out that we weren't name sharing and loved to help come up with crazy names. T was Rainbow Trout.

ETA: Glad that she's your BSC MIL and not mine. Holy passive aggresive Batman.

ang.ela23

WOW!! YOU POOR THING! She sounds like a real piece of work! Im sorry

NechamaChayim

You can simply ignore texts. If she gets in your face, tell her it's really none of her business.

ladymk

Marsee:

StrawberryAlarmClock:

TysMomPlusOne:

Lol she sounds, um, fun? You are so far along now you'd think she'd drop it and just wait the three weeks, geez. I will assume giving her fake names would totally backfire and just encourage her more at this point. 

LOL. We actually thought of that. We were going to come up with something horrible and tell her that was our pick but we were afraid she'd go get a bunch of things embroidered and engraved!! Hah

Text her back with this:

OK, fine. Since you keep bugging me, I'll tell you the name. Just promise not to tell anyone else. We REALLY want to keep this a secret. The name is Jenna Taylia and we can't wait to meet her!

She probably won't get how awesome this name is unless she says it out loud. And if she does get a bunch of stuff engraved, she'll end up feeling pretty stupid and it'd be a great story to tell your DD some day. Not to mention, you'd get a giggle out of it every time you see one of the engraved items. I'd totally do it.   

Do this! Do this! Honestly when she's being so pushy and rude with you she deserves to be messed with

jlsimon56

All this aside, the name Joy Rose isn't really that good.  So it doesn't get my vote.  :-)  Hahahaha.

My MIL is similar....but thankfully doesn't know how to text, otherwise I"m sure I would have gotten texts about baby names....

Now I am interested to hear your potentials!

StrawberryAlarmClock

Marsee:

StrawberryAlarmClock:

TysMomPlusOne:

Lol she sounds, um, fun? You are so far along now you'd think she'd drop it and just wait the three weeks, geez. I will assume giving her fake names would totally backfire and just encourage her more at this point. 

LOL. We actually thought of that. We were going to come up with something horrible and tell her that was our pick but we were afraid she'd go get a bunch of things embroidered and engraved!! Hah

Text her back with this:

OK, fine. Since you keep bugging me, I'll tell you the name. Just promise not to tell anyone else. We REALLY want to keep this a secret. The name is Jenna Taylia and we can't wait to meet her!

She probably won't get how awesome this name is unless she says it out loud. And if she does get a bunch of stuff engraved, she'll end up feeling pretty stupid and it'd be a great story to tell your DD some day. Not to mention, you'd get a giggle out of it every time you see one of the engraved items. I'd totally do it.   

bwahaha. I've never heard that one before and I thought I'd heard them all! LOL

magnoliablossom00

You are much nicer than I am. I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut! If I were you, I'd nip that s*** in the bud before you are actually in the hospital, tell her the name, and have her make some lame comment about how she won (if you don't use your mom's name), how she doesn't like your name at all, or how she just "knew" deep down you'd find the right one, yada yada.

I am a big mouth, but I'd probably say (or have dh say), "Mom, you need to back off and quit trying to name MY baby. This is not an area that you have any control over."

Mnerani

WOW. Can't you put your husband on the case? He needs to say "hey ma, leave us along about it."

Eaky77

NechamaChayim:

You can simply ignore texts. If she gets in your face, tell her it's really none of her business.

This.  We aren't saying the name until after the baby is born, so I feel your pain.  I would just ignore her, and if she gets up in your biz, tell her she can name a baby as soon as she has another. 

melody921

OMG, what is it with people trying to name other people's kids? I'd just ignore her. Seriously, even if you had a name (like we do, and are keeping it secret from family and friends), that's your perogative.

Helenahhandbasket

Oh man I feel your pain. 

I dealt with something very similar, only it was MY mom poking and prodding for hints on DD's name.  She gave me a handwritten list with 126 names on it (literally- she numbered them). 

On the list was: Casey (cute, but her dog's name), her name and several variants of (Julie, Julia, Juliette), and her middle name (which secretly was our number two!).

I did two things:

1) I continually reminded her that we did not want to tell a name we were not 100% sure of (which was true-- in the delivery room DH and I were still discussing)

2) I smiled, nodded and thanked her profusely for her suggestions.

Good luck!

chibride4

Ughhh, I totally feel your pain. My MIL pulled something similar when I originally told her that we didn't want to find out DS2's sex. She threatened to call my OB. For realzzz. This is reason #4,083,952 why you shouldn't discuss baby names in advance.

CTA7

All my mom's suggestions get a one word reply:  "Cute!"

We are not considering any of them.

queenbone

Please tell me you won't be indulging her bad behavior by using Rose as the MN.

StrawberryAlarmClock

gimmietimmies:

StrawberryAlarmClock:

TysMomPlusOne:

Lol she sounds, um, fun? You are so far along now you'd think she'd drop it and just wait the three weeks, geez. I will assume giving her fake names would totally backfire and just encourage her more at this point. 

LOL. We actually thought of that. We were going to come up with something horrible and tell her that was our pick but we were afraid she'd go get a bunch of things embroidered and engraved!! Hah

I did this to some of DH's relatives with DS. They were beyond ridiculous with their demands on what we named him. They weren't even suggestions, it was more like, you will name your kid this, or else. My repsonse, oh yeah, you and what army??? So we gave them a completely crazy made up name, and we were serious about it (to them anyway). When DS came, they were relieved. The name was something like Poindexter Nimrod (I think, Nimrod was the MN for sure).

So for each of the girls, we did the same thing, and it ended up being a game because they figured out that we weren't name sharing and loved to help come up with crazy names. T was Rainbow Trout.

ETA: Glad that she's your BSC MIL and not mine. Holy passive aggresive Batman.

That's a great way to diffuse a situation an keep the whole family on good terms! My dad would have given a thumbs up to Rainbow Trout - he's a big fisherman! LOL

StrawberryAlarmClock

jlsimon56:

All this aside, the name Joy Rose isn't really that good.  So it doesn't get my vote.  :-)  Hahahaha.

My MIL is similar....but thankfully doesn't know how to text, otherwise I"m sure I would have gotten texts about baby names....

Now I am interested to hear your potentials!

My BFF's MIL can't figure out texting, either. I'm so jealous!! Haha

StrawberryAlarmClock

magnoliablossom00:

You are much nicer than I am. I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut! If I were you, I'd nip that s*** in the bud before you are actually in the hospital, tell her the name, and have her make some lame comment about how she won (if you don't use your mom's name), how she doesn't like your name at all, or how she just "knew" deep down you'd find the right one, yada yada.

I am a big mouth, but I'd probably say (or have dh say), "Mom, you need to back off and quit trying to name MY baby. This is not an area that you have any control over."

May my DH please borrow your DH's balls? He talks a big game to me but rarely puts his foot down with her. If it really matters, he absolutely supports me 100% and tells MIL so. If he thinks it's just a catfight, he ignored us. Sigh. 

StrawberryAlarmClock

SuperDeDuper:

Wow, sorry Strawberry that sucks.  I'm almost embarrassed for her.  What a dumb, passive-aggressive, childish thing to do. 

My MIL drove me nuts when I was pregnant for similar reasons.  We did not share any name choices, and like you we went to the hospital with a boy list and girl list (team green) because we wanted to meet our LO first.  She asked me every.freaking.time we saw her or spoke on the phone if we had picked a name and if we would be sharing.  ::facepalm::  She did not, however, suggest we use her name or send obnoxious texts like your lovely MIL did. 

I'd have a really hard time not replying and telling her to mind her own effing business, that Rose was absolutely NOT in consideration for ANY part of her name, or I'd use Marsee's suggestion which is pretty much the best thing ever. 

Man. Your first paragraph nailed MIL perfectly! I've often said to SIL that MIL acts like a 6-yr-old...tantrums and all! (do 6yo still have tantrums?!?)

And yeah Marsee's idea rocks! Haha 

StrawberryAlarmClock

Eaky77:

NechamaChayim:

You can simply ignore texts. If she gets in your face, tell her it's really none of her business.

This.  We aren't saying the name until after the baby is born, so I feel your pain.  I would just ignore her, and if she gets up in your biz, tell her she can name a baby as soon as she has another. 

Exactly. I said something similar when she was like this to the power of 1,000 for my wedding. I tried to calmly suggest she renew her vows since she had so many exciting decor ideas! Lol

StrawberryAlarmClock

Helenahhandbasket:

Oh man I feel your pain. 

I dealt with something very similar, only it was MY mom poking and prodding for hints on DD's name.  She gave me a handwritten list with 126 names on it (literally- she numbered them). 

On the list was: Casey (cute, but her dog's name), her name and several variants of (Julie, Julia, Juliette), and her middle name (which secretly was our number two!).

I did two things:

1) I continually reminded her that we did not want to tell a name we were not 100% sure of (which was true-- in the delivery room DH and I were still discussing)

2) I smiled, nodded and thanked her profusely for her suggestions.

Good luck!

Lol @ her dog's name. Did she name the dog that because she wanted to use it but didn't have any more kids?

Speaking I lists. Are you sitting down? MIL had a list of 20-30 names for each gender BEFORE DH and I were even married...we weren't even living together. We started dating around Easter and she busted this puppy out on me at a 4th of July cookout in front of a crew of new ILs I had just met! 

StrawberryAlarmClock

queenbone:

Please tell me you won't be indulging her bad behavior by using Rose as the MN.

If I could post GIFs to this phone, I would find the most obnoxious "Aw H&ll No!!!!" one I could find! LOL

StrawberryAlarmClock

queenbone:

Please tell me you won't be indulging her bad behavior by using Rose as the MN.

If I could post GIFs to this phone, I would find the most obnoxious "Aw H&ll No!!!!" one I could find! LOL

BakerMommy

queenbone:

Please tell me you won't be indulging her bad behavior by using Rose as the MN.

Not only this, but let her know any and all names she suggests will be off the table. 

kelly321

StrawberryAlarmClock:

Speaking I lists. Are you sitting down? MIL had a list of 20-30 names for each gender BEFORE DH and I were even married...we weren't even living together. We started dating around Easter and she busted this puppy out on me at a 4th of July cookout in front of a crew of new ILs I had just met! 

  Oh my gosh. That would have really creeped me out. I think maybe she should have had a few more of her own if she had that many names she wanted to use. Although I had problems with my MIL in the past, she thankfully kept her nose out of our business when it came to names. We announced when DD was born and that was the end of it. No negative comments from anyone.

zaramarie81

Oh my goodness, I hate to be entertained at your expense, but pp's have pretty much said it all - what a, um, special MIL you have! Lol! And seriously I have NEVER understood pressuring anyone to name their child after.... yourself. Doesn't that kind of defeat the sense of being honored? (but clearly we're not dealing with that level of emotional health or rational thought!).

My in-laws have been great about everything. They wanted to help name the baby, and I told them they could make as many suggestions as they wanted but we might not use any of them. We've had a pretty good time discussing names b/c no one feels any pressure or expectations. The discussions also helped us get a feel for what the family reactions might really be like when we DO announce LO's name (but like you, we won't decide until he's born). 

So sorry you're going through such an awkward dynamic!