waiting couples list at agency not budging...update

erinmc1

Anyone else experience this with their agency?  Our agency's website says they place 20-24 infants per year, but we've been waiting more than 7 months, and only two or three couples have been taken off the web listing of waiting families during that time.  There were only 15 waiting couples on the website up until about a week or two ago, when 3 more couples were added, but unless I'm a lot worse at math than I think I am, there should be a little more negative movement if they really place as many babies as their website indicates.

 To make matters worse, our social worker went on maternity leave about 3 weeks ago, and we've been told that the birthparent counselor is going to be handling her potential adoptive parents until she gets back in September.   They had also announced to all the waiting couples that they'd hired a new marketing administrator, and were going to be trying out some new marketing techniques to attract more birthparents.  They asked all the couples to provide a PDF of our birthmom letter ASAP so they could upload the entire profile to their website instead of just a word document with the primary photo.  That was back in mid-April, and there haven't been any changes to the website, and no one has contacted us about any kind of timeline to expect them.  

 I guess I'm just feeling a bit frustrated.  We haven't had any potential matching calls in over 4 months.  We had heard really good things about this agency, but the longer that goes by that no profiles are removed from the website, the more anxious I'm becoming.  

 

ETA: I guess I should have posted about this sooner.  Monday afternoon, not long after I wrote this post, we got a call for a baby boy.  All interested couples are going to have their profiles presented to the birthparents tomorrow.  This is our third matching call, so hopefully it's the charm!

Nineoceans

That's one of the trick questions agencies can sometimes get you with. They may be placing 20-25 infants a year but how many of those are coming from adoptive families who found their own birthmoms and are using the agency just to take custody or for a quick home study. Always ask your agency for a break down- how many "identified adoptions" have you had (they came to the agency already matched) versus birth parents you found and matched with waiting families last year. 

Mrs.Slick

Nineoceans:

That's one of the trick questions agencies can sometimes get you with. They may be placing 20-25 infants a year but how many of those are coming from adoptive families who found their own birthmoms and are using the agency just to take custody or for a quick home study. Always ask your agency for a break down- how many "identified adoptions" have you had (they came to the agency already matched) versus birth parents you found and matched with waiting families last year. 

All of this. Plus some agencies also include twins and sibling placements - which in the way you're looking at it should only count as one but they may count both so it makes it seem like more. When we were considering the domestic route we asked one agency to take out all of the previously mentioned and siblings and twins (there weren't many but they were still there) and it cut out a little over a third of the numbers.  

erinmc1

Mrs.Slick:

Nineoceans:

That's one of the trick questions agencies can sometimes get you with. They may be placing 20-25 infants a year but how many of those are coming from adoptive families who found their own birthmoms and are using the agency just to take custody or for a quick home study. Always ask your agency for a break down- how many "identified adoptions" have you had (they came to the agency already matched) versus birth parents you found and matched with waiting families last year. 

All of this. Plus some agencies also include twins and sibling placements - which in the way you're looking at it should only count as one but they may count both so it makes it seem like more. When we were considering the domestic route we asked one agency to take out all of the previously mentioned and siblings and twins (there weren't many but they were still there) and it cut out a little over a third of the numbers.  

Our agency only does domestic infant adoptions, not foster placements, so I think sibling placements are pretty unlikely.  I don't know about previously matched though.  The agency fee of $21K seems a lot to pay for a homestudy.   

lafayettegirl

This is happening to us too, in a way. SW says she was working with "a ton" of birth moms this spring, but the waiting list has not moved an inch. The catch with our agency is that adoption isn't always what the birth moms choose. The agency provides counseling to the BM and sometime they choose adoption adn sometimes they don't. Our agency also won't tell us an average number of placements because it really depends on who is walking in the door. Some years they place more infants than others. We've been on the list for over 5 months and there hase been little to no movement. In addition, the SW has always told us that we are more likely to find a match on our own than with them. How that happens, I'll never know, as we have told everyone we can think of, including doctors, high schools, friends and family and everyone just looks at us and says, "That's great. Good luck."  Or they tell us that a friend of a friend had a cousin who adopted and the only way they were able to do it was to spend some ungodly amount of money in some foreign country. You'd swear there were no domestic babies placed for adoption.

We're actually thinking about working with another agency on top of the one we have, because the one we are working with does only in-state work.

jenbabe

I haven't noticed our agencies list changing much either.  I'm so glad we were able to be matched through our agency cause I have no idea how we would have found a match on our own.  We decided to go with a smaller agency because it was closer to us and required less travel for training.  I was worried that they only place 3-4 infants per month but I'm so glad we chose them because our wait was still short because they have a lot less families too.  I've read its a common myth that there are few domestic infants available.  Although I've seen several states/agencies closing their domestic programs recently because the wait is too long.  Our agency says it all depends on what situations you are open to.  They work with other agencies all over the country for placing african american babies and our social worker told us that if you are open to a different race, you will easily get placed within a few months. 

julandjo

Ughhh I know the feeling.  We're working with an in-state-only agency.  There are 105 waiting families, and this past fiscal year they had 33 placements.  But only 17 of those were NOT identified adoptions.  So basically those other 16 adoptions did not take numbers from the waiting pool; they were people who used the agency strictly for the homestudy because they already had an adoption lined up.  They have stopped accepting new families until the numbers come down, but this is seriously depressing.    The agency is saying it's just a down year and they don't see any reason to believe it's an overall trend.  I'm having a really hard time staying positive about our chances!

MarionB79

We are with an in-state agency and have been waiting for about 6 months. I checked the website today and there are 40 families waiting, 11 are on hold though which usually means they have been matched and might even have the baby already at home. Our agency waits at least 1 month before they take you off completely. The families have actually changed quite a bit during the last 6 months, so I guess I can't complain. 

It's still hard though, because we've been waiting longer than others who've already been matched. I am seriously considering changing what we are open for, but DH thinks that I just need to be more patient. I'm not good at that! 

erinmc1

update in OP