Anyone else's DD say they wish they were born a boy?

bklynbridecesh

This has been an ongoing thing with DD.  Says she only likes boys, only wants to play with boys, doesn't like girls, hates girls,etc.  Just the other day in the bath she said "I wish I were born a boy."  When I asked why, she said because boys can do anything and they are handsome.  I explained that girls can do anything too, and that they are handsome, beautiful, smart, funny, etc.  I also explained that the girls in her class might feel bad that she doesn't want to play with them.  Is anyone else experiencing this? 

bumpuser511563

I don't have a DD, but are there any careers that she maybe into?

Maybe you can teach her about famous women in different careers or have her meet women that have careers?

I don't know if I am much help. Maybe someone else can add by posting.

neverblushed

I spent much of my childhood wishing I was a boy.  I had the same reasons your daughter does: boys can do anything, boys don't have to wear dresses, boys have short hair, etc.  I liked to play pretend, but never with dolls.  My "babies" were stuffed animals.  I was FAR more interested in electric trains and tools than in barbie dolls and tea sets.

Like you have done, my parents encouraged me to pursue lots of different things that are traditionally associated with both genders.  They didn't force dresses on me, and I had short hair until I decided to grow it long at age 18.  I was mostly friends with other girls as a kid, although I got along with boys well, too. 

In retrospect, I'm sure my parents wondered about my sexuality.  But they did a pretty good job of just letting me figure out who I was.  I gradually figured out a way to be both feminine and comfortable in my own skin. 

I'm glad that I didn't succumb to the pressure to be a "typical" girl and behave in ways that are stereotypically feminine.  Although being a tomboy did make it hard to date much in high school, after my teens I had an easier time than some of my "girly-girl" friends relating to guys.  And existing outside the "girly" box has certainly helped me in my career.

 I would just let your daughter know that she should be whatever she wants to be.  Try as much as possible to stick with gender-neutral toys, clothes, and activities.  As a mom of both a girl and a boy, I have found that this can be disturbingly hard sometimes.  For instance, just trying to get a kid-sized bike that's NOT pink or blue is nearly impossible.  

Moving forward I would try not to limit her by saying things like "other girls will have hurt feelings if you don't play with them."  First of all, that statement is probably not true.  Second of all, it's sending her the message that there are rules about who girls can play with, and implying that she's doing something wrong or hurtful by not playing with other girls.  Also, avoid saying stuff like "oh, those are the boys' backpacks you're looking at -- the ones for girls are on this end."  Follow her lead with choices like this, and she'll learn to be happy in her own skin. 

Littlejen22

Not the same thing but my DS prefers girls and "girl" things. I am trying to let go of what I thought he would be like and let him be the amazing child he is. Check out the Raising my Rainbow and He Sparkles blogs, they might have recommendations for blogs about girls too but even if not they are wonderful Moms supporting their kids.