Double-edged sword...
Ok so long story short...FXH decided he didn't want to be a father about a week after I found out I was preg...and of course after he cheated on me. However, his family loves DD very much and I'm happy that she can have the support of his family if not him...
BUT here's the kicker...his family is kind of nuts sometimes... His dad (he's a little backwards I know) asked my mom the other day if I'd let DD go with them to another state while they visited DD's aunt.........um...how bout no? Firstly, DD is only 3 months old. Secondly, she's breastfed. And thirdly, JUST NO! There's no way I'd let her go that far away from me; not now and probably not until she's a teenager at least! He's nuts.
Sometimes I really worry about what I'm going to do when Christmas gets here and they want her to come over there to open presents...FXH will probably be there and since he doesn't want anything to do with us I figure since he made that decision he shouldn't see her at all...and I don't want her being confused about who he is etc... But I also don't want to be the *** who makes his family choose their son or their granddaughter...you know? I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings so how am I supposed to go about dealing with this situation??? I think I can trust his step-mom with stuff, but after all that's happened with him I'm having a hard time trusting anyone that's not my family anymore... I'm hoping that I can trust her enough to tell her that I'd like for him to show up later during those holidays, like I can bring her there around 6pm (which is usually when they start stuff) and I can pick her up at 7:30 or 8pm and he can come after that. I've already let them take her for an hour and a half to a family get together (I asked them if he was going to be there and he wasn't) because her Granddad was having heart surgery the next day and I wanted to make sure he got to see her if something did happen...but I paced the floors the whole time she was gone (it was just across town too).
I know I'm the mom and I have to put my foot down and tell them what they can and cannot do with my daughter, but I just find it so hard because it's his family I'm dealing with...I couldn't care less if it hurt his feelings, but I did love my in laws even though they're nuts, they're very nice to me and they love DD. Any advice?