Planning your own babyshower

reb562

I'm 38, and ever since I was 15--I've planned my sister's, sister-in-law, cousins, etc..shower...Hard to believe but my family is really not good about these things...they tend to forget dates, etc...

 Not that I'm wanting one or need one...but I don't think I'll get one unless I do my own.  My family is kind of the "I'll show up" type of people.   I do have friends, but my family has never really liked my friends...would it be bad if I did my own shower?

 thoughts?

 

reb562 due January 11th 2011

benoitfan

IMO planning your own shower is a no-no.  Whether you intend to or not it comes off as gift-grabby.  At most, you provide the guest list and someone else does the planning.  If you family is that out of it, hint..."wow, guess I won't have to plan the shower this time, now nice" and leave it at that.  Surely they are not so self absorbed that they do not realize they should be celebrating your lo and returning the favour.  As for your family not liking your friends, tough bananas, this is about you and your baby, they need to suck it up.  If a friend offers to host, give them your guest list.  The rest is up to the planner and your invitees.

JoyHerbie2011

benoitfan:

IMO planning your own shower is a no-no.  Whether you intend to or not it comes off as gift-grabby.  At most, you provide the guest list and someone else does the planning.  If you family is that out of it, hint..."wow, guess I won't have to plan the shower this time, now nice" and leave it at that.  Surely they are not so self absorbed that they do not realize they should be celebrating your lo and returning the favour.  As for your family not liking your friends, tough bananas, this is about you and your baby, they need to suck it up.  If a friend offers to host, give them your guest list.  The rest is up to the planner and your invitees.

 

All of this!! 

sjp

You simply do NOT throw your own shower. It is tacky to a fault (even here in So. Cal where almost everything else goes).

3rdat40

I agree with the others. It's just not appropriate to plan a shower for yourself. I personally wouldn't even drop any hints to someone else about planning a shower, but that's just me. If this is your first child, then I sincerely hope you do get a shower from someone. I think you most likely will get a shower, but remember it could be a surprise shower, and often showers happen the last month of pregnancy, so don't give up on your family and friends yet!

stever

benoitfan:

IMO planning your own shower is a no-no.  Whether you intend to or not it comes off as gift-grabby.  At most, you provide the guest list and someone else does the planning.  If you family is that out of it, hint..."wow, guess I won't have to plan the shower this time, now nice" and leave it at that.  Surely they are not so self absorbed that they do not realize they should be celebrating your lo and returning the favour.  As for your family not liking your friends, tough bananas, this is about you and your baby, they need to suck it up.  If a friend offers to host, give them your guest list.  The rest is up to the planner and your invitees.

benniferbaby

benoitfan:

IMO planning your own shower is a no-no.  Whether you intend to or not it comes off as gift-grabby.  At most, you provide the guest list and someone else does the planning.  If you family is that out of it, hint..."wow, guess I won't have to plan the shower this time, now nice" and leave it at that.  Surely they are not so self absorbed that they do not realize they should be celebrating your lo and returning the favour.  As for your family not liking your friends, tough bananas, this is about you and your baby, they need to suck it up.  If a friend offers to host, give them your guest list.  The rest is up to the planner and your invitees.

This.

And I hope you did not post this question on the baby shower board because those are some catty bitches and they will tear you to shreds.

I am coming up on 8 months and have spent several weeks angry at my sister for failing to return the favor I did for her. My mom decided to pick up the slack, but to call my mom "casual" is equivalent to calling the grand canyon a ditch. I live too far away from my close friends, and they are so scattered across the country anyway, to even dream that any of them would be able to work out the logistics to throw me a shower.

You never know who will step up. Just keep your fingers crossed, and drop a hint or two. I'll cross my fingers with you, because anyone who's waited as long as we have for this blessing should be able to celebrate it and shout it from the rooftops! But there is such a thing called etiquette and it should be observed.

mama2many

I agree with all the above. Planning your own shower is just tacky. It would be disappointing if no one stepped up, but don't do it. 

cindiesheart

girl let me tell you something.....plan your own shower.... I did not plan mine with my only 2 children and not one person offered to throw me one.... NOT ONE!!!  Do you know how horrible and un special I felt my children were in everyones eyes?  I even asked my friend to do it and she said yes in great excitement, but she never did it!!!!  wth!!!!  To this day I still have a hard time knowing that not one person cared..... and to add insult to injury... at my first sons 1st bday party, not one of my family memebers showed up!!!  NOT ONE!!!  Yes I have come to a very clear conclusion that my family sucks sucks sucks.... but all that said...... I say plan that shower, especially if you know you're not gonna get one if you dont.   Who cares about gift grabbing, and looking for free things... swollow your pride and enjoy your day!!!!!!   I mean cmon,,, isnt the free gifts what we all are looking for in showers anyway?  I mean... why do we register?   Get your free stuff,, and give your guests a fantastic shower fit for a queen!!!  Cause thats what you are!!!

SunAndRain

cindiesheart:

girl let me tell you something.....plan your own shower.... I did not plan mine with my only 2 children and not one person offered to throw me one.... NOT ONE!!!  Do you know how horrible and un special I felt my children were in everyones eyes?  I even asked my friend to do it and she said yes in great excitement, but she never did it!!!!  wth!!!!  To this day I still have a hard time knowing that not one person cared..... and to add insult to injury... at my first sons 1st bday party, not one of my family memebers showed up!!!  NOT ONE!!!  Yes I have come to a very clear conclusion that my family sucks sucks sucks.... but all that said...... I say plan that shower, especially if you know you're not gonna get one if you dont.   Who cares about gift grabbing, and looking for free things... swollow your pride and enjoy your day!!!!!!   I mean cmon,,, isnt the free gifts what we all are looking for in showers anyway?  I mean... why do we register?   Get your free stuff,, and give your guests a fantastic shower fit for a queen!!!  Cause thats what you are!!!

You are joking, right?

Yes, your family and friends clearly suck.  But that doesn't give you license to buck etiquette.

OP: throwing your own shower is not acceptable.  What you might consider is a meet the baby party shortly after the baby is born.  This is something you can begin to plan now as far as catering (you probably won't want to prepare food with a newborn to look after) and simple decor can be purchased in advance.  But wait until a couple weeks before your due date as it is possible there is a suprise shower in the works which may not happen until later in your pregnancy.

leffe1

You should never have to plan your own shower. I will bet that something is in the works for you. It may not be what you want/expect but it is out of your control at this point.

danieleandwayne

SunAndRain:

OP: throwing your own shower is not acceptable.  What you might consider is a meet the baby party shortly after the baby is born.  This is something you can begin to plan now as far as catering (you probably won't want to prepare food with a newborn to look after) and simple decor can be purchased in advance.  But wait until a couple weeks before your due date as it is possible there is a suprise shower in the works which may not happen until later in your pregnancy.

I agree with this and pps. I think if they don't throw you a shower, you can throw a "meet the baby" party after the baby arrives. And if your family doesn't throw you a shower-- then you can deal with that afterwards. Your baby is such a joy for you, I would hate to see some insensitive decisions by your family get in the way of you experiencing the wonder and joy that meeting your child will be.

bklynbmp

I love to throw parties too so I understand the anxiety but definitely don't throw your own shower.

What about a gender reveal or post delivery baby debut?  You could do something fabulous there.  Provided you don't ask for gifts, then you can totally avoid the etiquette issues.

Mslsews

I'd agree that planning your own shower is a no-no.  And it does suck not to get one.  My ds was early so the shower that was going to be thrown was never thrown.  So while I attended all these great, big showers for other people, I didn't get one.  

The wonderful thing is that my brand new neighbors (people that had known me for less than 6 months) actually threw me a small baby shower a few weeks after the baby came home from the hospital.  So you really never know.