Ahhh, HELP!!! My mom keeps trying to name this baby!

Nicolejb781

My mom has sent me soooo many suggestions for names it's getting ridiculas, I know she's just trying to be helpful but the names she's coming up with just aren't us.  Her latest suggestion is....DUVET..yup, like the comforter cover!  Honestly, I have NO idea what she was thinking there!  The other names she's come up with aren't too bad, here's a suggestion of just a few-

Dakota, Cheyenne, Kelsey, Shelby, Ryleigh, Caitlin & Cassidy

 Like I said they aren't horrible names they just aren't us at all and I feel bad that I keep telling my mom NO.  Honestly, I've started to put the blame on DH since he's so picky saying things like 'Yah, Jeff wouldn't go for that!"  LOL, my mom NEVER talkes to hubby so why not!  LOL!

 

femmepink

She got to name you, now it's your turn to be the mom and name your child. Tell her that.

queenbone

I'd suggest she buy a dog if she wants to name something since she will NOT be naming your baby.

apc1929

Sorry just hang in there... she is excited I'm sure!  My Mother was same way and we had WAY different naming styles.  Just remember they had their chance at naming their kids already 

plunderb

Be clear with her. Don't blame things on your husband, just reply, "Mom, I know you are super excited about the baby, but I feel like you are putting pressure on me by suggesting names, and I need you to stop so that I can relax and choose a name that I like."

Either that or make up a totally ridiculous name and tell her that you are set on Jehoshabeath Snapdragon, and you will accept no further suggestions.

pillowpants10

femmepink:

She got to name you, now it's your turn to be the mom and name your child. Tell her that.

Nicolejb781

femmepink:

She got to name you, now it's your turn to be the mom and name your child. Tell her that.

 My mom and my relationship has always been on shakey ground, she's overly emotional and takes everything way to seriously so I'm always to scared to say anything that'll set her off! 

melody921

I would just tell her straight out that you and DH want to name the baby. And then, save yourself future trouble by not announcing the name until she's born. Those would't be my choices either. Duvet is the worst.

LadyXaverian

Nicolejb781:

femmepink:

She got to name you, now it's your turn to be the mom and name your child. Tell her that.

 My mom and my relationship has always been on shakey ground, she's overly emotional and takes everything way to seriously so I'm always to scared to say anything that'll set her off! 

Well then..... I guess you're stuck listening to her suggestions? Those are your choices.

gnomemom

My mom did this. I think I eventually said something like, "Good god, Mom. I hate all of these suggestions. But if it makes you feel better, I think you did a good job with my name."

We're pretty blunt in my family.

NechamaChayim

Just tell her you guys have chosen a name. About five minutes after we told my in-laws I was pregnant last time (found out the next day I miscarried but anyway...) she started giving me names. I turned my nose at all of them. If this one sticks I'm going to tell her we already have a name and that's true. We already know which girl and boy name we like so we probably don't need to discuss it much and we sure don't need input. If you are already decided, you don't need any more of her suggestions.

kristinc01

Nicolejb781:

femmepink:

She got to name you, now it's your turn to be the mom and name your child. Tell her that.

 My mom and my relationship has always been on shakey ground, she's overly emotional and takes everything way to seriously so I'm always to scared to say anything that'll set her off! 

Whenever anyone gave me a suggestion and I didn't want to hurt their feelings I just said "I'll add it to our LONG list of names".  That way you still validate a name they like but lets them realize you are looking at many other names, and probably won't pick it.

lewispm

Why don't you just tell them you are going to keep the name a secret until she is born? That way maybe either a) she will assume you have chosen a name and lay off with the suggestions, or b) you don't have to really "respond" to her suggestions since you ae being secretive. That way you can just nod and say "mhmm" and she can't get offended because, for all she knows, that might be the name you picked and you don't want to give it away.

We are keeping our LO's name a secret until birth (although we haven't decided on one yet anyway) And it has made it easier to deal with bad suggestions or even suggestions that just aren't our style because we don't have to give any opinions on them.

Disneygeek77

Nicolejb781:

femmepink:

She got to name you, now it's your turn to be the mom and name your child. Tell her that.

 My mom and my relationship has always been on shakey ground, she's overly emotional and takes everything way to seriously so I'm always to scared to say anything that'll set her off! 

Ding ding ding ding.  That is why she gets so emotional.  She has learned a long time ago that it gets her what she wants.  Now would you give your child a toy or candy bar at a store because they threw a hissy fit ? I would sure hope not because they will do it every time they want something.

Listen, this is your baby and you have every right to name that child as you see fit.  If your mom gets upset, oh well.  She will just have to deal with it.  Trust me, I have had to put my foot down with my own parents, and yes they did get upset; however as you can now see, the world didn't explode and we all just moved on. 

Right now is just as good as any for setting a precedent and letting her know YOU are the mom and what you say, goes.  If not, then the baby's name will be just the beginning.  Next, it will be how to decorate the nursery, where you spend your holiday time, what theme for the birthday.... and the list just goes on and on.

Aligator28

femmepink:

She got to name you, now it's your turn to be the mom and name your child. Tell her that.

100% this. It's your turn, 

Nicolejb781

stw_77:

Nicolejb781:

femmepink:

She got to name you, now it's your turn to be the mom and name your child. Tell her that.

 My mom and my relationship has always been on shakey ground, she's overly emotional and takes everything way to seriously so I'm always to scared to say anything that'll set her off! 

Ding ding ding ding.  That is why she gets so emotional.  She has learned a long time ago that it gets her what she wants.  Now would you give your child a toy or candy bar at a store because they threw a hissy fit ? I would sure hope not because they will do it every time they want something.

Listen, this is your baby and you have every right to name that child as you see fit.  If your mom gets upset, oh well.  She will just have to deal with it.  Trust me, I have had to put my foot down with my own parents, and yes they did get upset; however as you can now see, the world didn't explode and we all just moved on. 

Right now is just as good as any for setting a precedent and letting her know YOU are the mom and what you say, goes.  If not, then the baby's name will be just the beginning.  Next, it will be how to decorate the nursery, where you spend your holiday time, what theme for the birthday.... and the list just goes on and on.

 

Good point!  With the first round of suggestions I told her that many of them weren't our style but we'd keep them in mind and she's not being pushy or anything with any of the names.  Honestly I just think she's bored and lonely and so she's been coming up with names in order to be as helpful as she can be.  She lives all the way across the country so I'm assuming this is her way of connecting with her grand child, in a way that she can. 

Disneygeek77

My dad wanted to give up suggestions when we had our first.  We told them we were naming her Sophia and he said we should spell it , Xofya.   Yeah, X-O-F-Y-A.  He could tell from my expression that I wasn't going to listen to his suggestions. 

Now is your mom just having fun or will she truly be upset if you don't name you child something  she suggested ? 

MrsRKJ

femmepink:

She got to name you, now it's your turn to be the mom and name your child. Tell her that.

 

^This x100000!!   

Nicolejb781

stw_77:

My dad wanted to give up suggestions when we had our first.  We told them we were naming her Sophia and he said we should spell it , Xofya.   Yeah, X-O-F-Y-A.  He could tell from my expression that I wasn't going to listen to his suggestions. 

Now is your mom just having fun or will she truly be upset if you don't name you child something  she suggested ? 

 

No, I think she's just having fun and trying to be helpful.  She's never really been a mother to me or my brother so I think she's also trying to over compensate and trying to be the mother that she's suppose to be now. 

 I really just posted this because her latest suggestion of Duvet was comical!!

garnet10

My mom is like this, and I have no problem telling her her suggestions aren't welcome. It doesn't really make a difference she keeps at it no matter how I respond. But if someone has so little respect for you as to try to impose thier taste on a highly personal decision, I don't think you need to worry about hurting their feelings.

Disneygeek77

Yeah Duvet  is just terrible.  I have to wonder if she was just joking with you.

jburdet1

Meh, this doesn't sound like an issue to battle out. When my sister was pregnant with the first baby in the family we were all super excited and I sent her a long list of names. She did end up choosing one on my list But, that's not the point when your mom sends lists just send back a nice thank you and leave it at that. BTW, I love her suggestion of Shelby

Nicolejb781

stw_77:

Yeah Duvet  is just terrible.  I have to wonder if she was just joking with you.

Oh, trust me she wasn't joking!!!  If you knew my mother you'd also know that she has absolutly NO sense of humor whats so ever, she doesn't joke!  She was completely serious!  She actually sent me an explanation to this name too saying that it's a good name because we can comfort each other, or something along those lines.

ablou

When we told my MIL that we were naming our kiddo Charles, she thought that we should name him something more "unique." This coming from a woman who named her children Jason & Lindsey. ::eye roll::

 

Go with your heart, and not anyone else's.  

CocoR04

We'll probably be using my own middle name for either a girl or a boy (it's unisex), so in reality, the name originally came from my mother. At least she won't wrinkle her nose when we tell her...

mhickey426

I do not care if I loved her names I would never pick one of them

srgw

plunderb:

Be clear with her. Don't blame things on your husband, just reply, "Mom, I know you are super excited about the baby, but I feel like you are putting pressure on me by suggesting names, and I need you to stop so that I can relax and choose a name that I like."

Either that or make up a totally ridiculous name and tell her that you are set on Jehoshabeath Snapdragon, and you will accept no further suggestions.

In my immediate and extended family we do this. My cousins and sister make up whatever nn they want until after their baby is born. Actually my H started calling our nephew Atticus when my sister was barely pregnant and it stuck until after he was born. (Not say Atticus is a bad name.)