Do you feel bad for parents/SO of those who hurt people?

Molly Bloom

While driving to work this morning I was listening to my radio program and they were talking about Sandusky's wife taking the stand. And the one DJ was saying how they wife had to have known...very unsympathetic.

I'm just using this as an example. In general I tend to think about the parents or spouses. Like those children who shoot up schools, or murders. I remember when story broke that one of our states senators was caught trying to solicit sex from an undercover cop (man) I just thought how horrible for his children and his wife.

When I was in college I remember watching video's of Jeffery Dahmer's  (in psychology class) father and thinking how terrible that his son grew up to be such a horrific human being. But wouldn't you still love your child? 

 

 

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DragonflyBelle

I would absolutely still love my child and yes, I do feel bad for those people. My uncle was murdered by a stranger and we always felt bad for his killer's family because that monster's mother never chose for her child to get drunk and stab a man to death. I can't imagine that pain.

CinemaGoddess

What Sookie said.

Manateearmz

I do. Those who are usually the sickest are the ones who hide it the best. I think that there are probably little red flags, but especially if it is your child there is probably a strong case of denial. 

shouldbworkin

SookieFrackhouse68:

I feel badly for them UNTIL the evidence mounted against their spouse or child is overwhelming in its proving their guilt, and the person STILL blindly defends them, takes the stand for them, and discounts the pain they caused all these victims.

They don't need to stop loving their child, but their flat-out denial against the evidence just hurts the victims all over again.

Of course, I guess love is just not always rational.

Couldn't have said it better.  Freak things happen with no warning and I truly feel bad for those affected in those situations.  But, I don't feel too bad when people have ignored multiple warning signs.  To use Sandusky's wife, for example, why wasn't she wondering why all of those boys were so affectionate (her words) with her DH?  One boy, sure, but multiple?  How can you not ask yourself: why?

 

Manateearmz

CinemaGoddess:

What Sookie said.

Ditto. Sooks has a good point, there is a limit to it. 

t.bird

what Sookie said.

a good example is the mother of Martin Bryant (Port Arthur Massacre in AU)

he is very guilty- yet his mother states that "they never proved he was there"- she's clearly in denial.

catycate

I feel terrible for the parents of children who commit violent crime ( the ones who are honest about the crime with themselves and the media, unlike the ones Sookie mentioned). I can't imagine navigating the new love you have to find when you know your baby is a killer. 

tarebear9891

I feel terrible for the family as long as they didn't knowingly allow it to happen. 

Marc's Mrs.

The BTK killer in Wichita, KS lead the perfect double life.  His wife and kids had absolutely no idea that he was responsible for those attrocious acts.  The investigators in the case confirmed that as fact.  His family did not support him and I don't think they've visited him in prison. 

I think you'd need a lot of therapy and support to deal with the realization that your husband or father was capable of that kind of evil.

Molly Bloom

fredalina:

I definitely feel bad for them. I always think about it after my sympathy for the family of the victims registers. Love the child? I would think so. K'm all about unconditional love though there are probably some extremes that would make me wonder. But the parent's life shouldn't necessarily have to be destroyed because the child did something horrible. I tried to read "We Need to Talk About Kevin" but I couldn't get too far. Just not subject matter I could handle well.

I wanted to watch that movie. But I don't tilda swinden (sp?) Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't the mother a horrible mother??? I thought I remembered that in the previews. She never wanted him, or neglected him...I could be wrong.