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Late Term and Child Loss
Mrs Nice
member
*Parenting After Loss Check-In*
Mrs Nice
member
Hello Ladies!
I would like to send a great big congrats yo Johnnys June on the birth of her rainbow baby, Emma June! I can't wait to see pics!
Has your parenting after loss journey changed your relationship with your SO?
Do you and your SO agree on parenting methods? Is there anything your SO does differently then you?
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: *Parenting After Loss Check-In*
Has your parenting after loss journey changed your relationship with your SO?
Well we having a rocky patch right now....A really rocky patch. We never fight and this is aweful. But we did not split up when Kam died and we won't now.
I don't even know if he actually comprehends how much everything is weighing on me. He says it will change but it isn't, it seems to be getting worse...Sigh*
Do you and your SO agree on parenting methods? Is there anything your SO does differently then you?
Yeah for the most part we do. We are failry strict with things like education, manners, and safe behavior and we follow the same diciplinary methods....
He talks mean to them though. He says he is playing but I hate it. Both kids well all three if you count Kam, smile and laugh at him when he does it but I hate it. I think the things he says are terrible, and I hate it. It is one of the things we are having a rough time with.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Gabriel will be 5 months on next weds!!! It is going so fast!
Honestly I feel that it has changed our relationship for the better. I am more patient with him; when I feel myself getting frustrated because he's not getting something done I remind myself what's really important in life and it is NOT the dishes or cleaning the house. He is my best friend, my rock through all of this, and if I start picking him apart who knows what will happen.
I used to be the one who was more nit picky about what DD ate, what the Grandmas gave her, etc. I have backed off a bit since our loss because, well, life's too short. Of course I still feed her healthy and want her to be safe and not too spoiled. But if the Grandma's give her one too many cookies, well... that's life. DH on the other hand has gone completely the opposite way. He freaked out on his mom the other day because he found out she let DD have some of her Crystal Light. While I don't want her drinking that stuff either, I don't think I would've handled it the same way. But I love him for it!
One thing we are both more cautious of is safety though- we are more paranoid about my parents' house since they have a pool. We are always double checking the car seat. I check on her every night to make sure she is breathing.
We haven't decided yet when we will tell her about the new baby. We prepped her for it last time and it was so heartbreaking to have to take away the "I'm a Big Sister" book and the shirt we bought her. It still breaks my heart when she mentions him and that he died and can't come live with us ever.
Has your parenting after loss journey changed your relationship with your SO? It has made our relationship very rocky. There are times that our old selves glimmer through and we are able to love each other. (Not that we don't ever love each other) Then there are times we are going at it. A lot of it is because my SO is having a hard time releasing his feelings. I blog, talk with my bereavement counselor, come on here and go on some fb message boards too. He at one point did go to the bereavement meetings and surprisingly he talked! He did mention to me the other day when is the next meeting. I know our fights are from the hurt from our son's passing. I just wish we would learn to cope together better.
Do you and your SO agree on parenting methods? Is there anything your SO does differently then you? For the most part we are both pretty paranoid as far as always making sure he is breathing and keeping our eyes on him 24/7. SO sometimes says I am too paranoid but after losing a child you learn there is no such thing. I am not like putting him in a bubble or anything!
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Babies! My crazy butt has baby fever. (Yes even though I have an 8 month old!) I want another one so bad, like right now but I am trying to wait. I have some things I need to accomplish first so I swallow that b.c. pill every morning and tell myself it's for the best.
Has your parenting after loss journey changed your relationship with your SO? Our relationship was strained after losing Jack (and in some ways, I think it still is) but I think having DD has helped us to pick our battles (DD doesn't like to hear us yell). It's not worth getting into an argument about why the dishes didn't get done if it upsets DD. We've learned to talk things out as opposed to nit picking over everything.
Do you and your SO agree on parenting methods? Is there anything your SO does differently then you? For the most part we agree on parenting methods. There are certain things that I am more of a stickler about, that DH isn't. And there are things that DH enforces that I am more lenient about.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Babies! We are TTC baby #3. And that carries a lot of excitement and fears. I can't wait to make DD a big sister, but I worry about what could happen (will the baby have health issues, etc).