*Loss Check-In*

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies!

Its check-in time again! Any new loss Mommas and lurkers please feel free to join when you are ready. You can share as much or as little as you want.

Where do you find support IRL?

Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?

Open topic. What is on your mind this week?

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity? 

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Where do you find support IRL?

My DH, my neighbors down the street, a few wonderful friends, my parents and my IRL loss group

Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?

Loved "Heaven is For Real".  I'm not a big reader but we received the book as a gift and it was wonderful

Open topic. What is on your mind this week?

As always, Corbin.  We also have our house on the market and we saw this house a few weeks ago that is our dream house, the bank is asking way too much for it and it needs some work but I can't stop thinking about it.  Trying to figure out a way to get the house at a fair price given it's condition

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity?

I love to walk my dog and also sit out on the deck on the weekends with our neighbors and have some drinks and snacks

sloannmark

 I find support from mostly my husband, but also a few co-workers, friends and some family.

I'm currently reading "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart."

The boys, as always. We hit the 1 month mark with Gabriel yesterday and today is 4 weeks for Zachary. I'm also thinking about the strained relationship with my parents.

I love to kayak in the summer, but also love sitting outside reading a book and maybe having a glass of wine.

Bayberry12

Where do you find support IRL?

Mostly from my husband.  A few friends that still check in on me every now and then.  I have an aunt that still reaches out to me a lot.  We also went to our first support group meeting.  It was intense, but helpful to know that other people are going through this and understand everything I feel.  Not that you woman don't, but it is so different when you meet someone IRL who you can look at and see all the pain in their eyes. 

 Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?

About a week after my loss I was given "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" and I wanted to burn it.  I didn't want a book about dead babies, and moving on.  But I did start to read it, and I do find it helpful.  It kind of gives me some perspective on my whole life.  And it helped me understand that everything I feel is acceptable, and there are no "wrong" feelings.  It helped me understand the grief process.

Open topic. What is on your mind this week?

I am going to another wedding on Saturday, and I won't know many people except the bride and her sister.  So, I will be sitting with strangers, and I am afraid of the questions I may get asked.  Well, really just one question; "Do you have children?"  It would be so easy to just say "No".  But, that may lead into, "Do you want kids?" or "Your so lucky you don't have kids".  I also don't want to be the downer at this happy occasion.  Thinking about all of these different scenarios has been on my mind all week.  

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity? 

I love going to the weekly farmers market.  I used to love going to my in-law's pool, but I haven't been there yet this summer.   

tuscanbride2007

Where do you find support IRL?

My husband of course. He is good at reading my mood. He always knows when things are off and is always ready to give me a hug when I lose it. Also, my close friends. Even though none of them have been through a loss, they all ask how I am doing and I feel comfortable talking about it with them. My MIL is also amazing. She has been a great help too.

Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?

I am currently reading "Heaven is for Real." It has been a good read so far.

Open topic. What is on your mind this week?

My brother-in-law stayed at our house this week and his wife is pregnant. I have not really reached out to her yet. We are going to visit them in about a month and I am preparing myself emotionally. I am super happy for them (we were both due a month apart when I was pregnant with Annabelle, but she miscarried at 9 weeks.) It is hard for me to be totally happy for them until she has a living breathing baby. I hate that I now have that pessimism about pregnancy.

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity?

Going to the pool (even though I am not happy about my body in a bathing suit this year.) I love hanging out with friends and family while sticking my toes in the water while holding an adult beverage.

Carolee

Where do you find support IRL?  Most of my support came from friends/family.  I never attended any support groups.  I did try grief counseling, but it wasn't overly helpful for me.

Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?  I read An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination right after losing Eliott and I related to much of what she wrote.  I also found Heaven is for Real comforting.

Open topic. What is on your mind this week? We're coming up on 2 years since we lost Eliott.  It feels like a lifetime ago, and in many ways it was.  I am not the same person now that I was before.

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity?  I enjoy hiking.

xxswebbxx

Where do you find support IRL?

DH, my "sisters" (My SIL & my best friend) & my MIL.
 

Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?

Nope not yet. I like to read but haven't read any books like this yet.

Open topic. What is on your mind this week?

At this very moment this sunburn & TTC of course.

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity?

For now tanning since I'm still not allowed to swim! But since I've burn myself at the beach yesterday I guess it will be walking my little monster (Our puppy) this week!

philfemgal

Where do you find support IRL?

My wife of course and my mom are my two biggest sources of support. 

We are also seeing a grief counselor together and I have been going a therapist on my own who I had been seeing about career issues prior to the pregnancy.  We've also been going to a support group which is very helpful.

For the most part we get less support from friends, mostly because none of our close friends live close by and so we only talk to them once very few weeks or so.  We have a few friends in town who we are less close to but who we've become closer to since our loss.  Sometimes I really hate that we live so far away from friends and family.

Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?

I also read Empty Cradle, Broken Heart which I found helpful in the first few weeks after the loss to try to understand my grief.

Just recently I found a blog called "Knocked Up, Knocked Down":  https://knockedupknockeddown.blogspot.com/.  The author is very sarcastic and funny which I greatly appreciate.  She also wrote a book by the same name, but I haven't read the book yet.

Open topic. What is on your mind this week?

We just got a new kitten--one of the ferals we found.  This is only the second day she's been home since getting spayed and she's still pretty scared.  She also managed to break out of the pen we set up for her so she has kept me busy yesterday and today trying to rearrange and kitty-proof the room.

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity?

I'm not really much of an outdoor person.  I like to swim, but mostly only do so on vacation.

awitt8

Where do you find support IRL?

My husband. He has been so strong through all of this and sucha wonderful support. My sister, my mom and a few of my close girlfriends. The ones that surprised me the most are my coworkers. Several o fthem have been so amazing and supportive.  

Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?

I havent found one yet and am looking for suggestions.  

Open topic. What is on your mind this week?

Going back to work. I went for a visit today and met with my boss. She was very supportive and understanding. Im excited to get back to being productive but so very nervous too. My first day back will be on the 2nd.

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity?

Spending time outside. Walking our dogs.

doodlescaboodles

Where do you find support IRL?.

My DH has been amazing. He makes me laugh when I want to cry. He holds my hand when I want to run away. He tells me "you WILL get pregnant again", when I feel like there is no hope.

Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?

No book recommendations. These boards have be a source of comfort. Google has been a source of hysteria. Hehe.

Open topic. What is on your mind this week?

 I got my first AF! Woohoo. Hurt like a son of a b****....but well worth the pain! We met with the our OB after I had a MRI. I do not have Trophoblastic Disease...instead a large blood blot in my uterus...which will hopefully pass in due time. Also, survived my co-workers babyshower at work. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I am so thankful she is bringing a healthy baby into this world. Just trying to stay postitive that one day it will be me.

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity?

 Fishing on the boat with the hub. It's our quiet time.

laurendSept05

Where do you find support IRL?

Mostly my husband.  My friends have been good - but don't really know how I feel.  One good friend who is due with a boy in July has been helpful, but yet still complains all the time about being pregnant - I feel like saying I would trade places in a heartbeat.  My mom has been pretty good at times - she was the only one who said Happy Mothers day and gave me a card.

Are there any book recommendations that you have found to be helpful?

I loved An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination

Open topic. What is on your mind this week?

I've been feeling a little better since my EDD passed June 6th.  Before then I was always thinking I should be this many weeks, etc.  But now I just keep thinking I should have my son with me.  We have a lot of weddings, family gatherings, etc this summer and his absense is and will be felt strongly.

GTKY: Now that summer is here, what is your favorite outdoor activity?

Going to the beach!