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Baby Names
Probably posted this before, but....
We chose our son's name a long while ago- Alexander Jerre, with a nickname "Alex".
"Alexander" was simply because we liked it and nobody else had it in our family (because DH has what seems like 8 zillion cousins and they all have good, classic names that I love and he doesn't want to reuse). "Jerre" is pronounced "Jerry" and is after my maternal grandfather. Before anyone accuses me of a youneek spelling, though- my grandfather changed it himself in the late 70s because he thought it sounded more professional. That's not his birth name but it's the name I've always known him as.
My side, of course, thinks it's an amazing name. DH's side thinks it's wierd. Is it too odd, especially since it's a mn and he'll likely never use it?
Another thing is that DH and I (who are 29) plan on having more children as soon as possible, and if one of them is a boy I'd really like to use the name "James" somehow- it's a family name on both sides and was the name of my grandfather's fraternal twin, who died at a young age. I kind of love the symmetry of a sibset with the same names as my grandfather and great-uncle. SIL, on the other hand, is 24 and has already "claimed" the name- despite the fact that she's not even thinking about TTC. I don't want to offend her, but am I wrong for really wanting to use that name?
"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."- Emily Bronte
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Re: Probably posted this before, but....
I think Jerre is weird but if it's your grandfathers go with it! I don't think James is a family name + just b/c it is someone can't "call" it (SIL can say that later so just be ok with it if she's mad about it)
I have always felt you CAN NOT CLAIM A NAME TILL IT"S IN INK out of your belly on a birth certificate! And even if so what, it's a name plus a middle name at that....i think it's ok for cousins to have the same middle name.
Now for me, if it was my SIL i wouldn't care at all but if it was my sister or brother i may consider NOT using the name but would talk about the name issue before i used a name behind someones back.
So wait are you using Jerre 1st as a middle name OR James?
If you are using Alexander James: Not being rude but sounds like a "stacked" husbands style name. You are using Alexander (which i love & may do if we have baby#3/boy) and his grandfathers middle name. Make sure your child has a name that is a percentage of you too... may people just do what their husbands say or feel. You may not always stay together or your family may really bug you one day so doing a "family" name is tricky (to me)
Natural Miscarriage 2006
BFP March 19th! - Due Date11/25/14
The name is Alexander Jerre- and the "Jerre" is from my side, my maternal grandfather's name
. The baby will be called "Alex" or "Alexander". We both picked that one because we liked it. If anything, this name is stacked in my favor 
.
"James" is the name of my DH's grandfather AND my own maternal grandfather's twin, so it would work to honor both sides. Another name we might use in the future is "Ian"- the Scotch version of "John", which is a common name on both sides of the family in both versions.
And I agree with you, PP- you can't really claim a name until it's on ink on a birth certificate!
You're kind of doing the same thing your SIL is -- wanting to claim James before you're even pregnant with a son to use it on. (If I'm understanding your post correctly, you want to use the middle name Jerre for this baby and James for the next one if it's a boy.) And would it be so bad to have cousins with the middle name set instead of brothers?
If I were you, I wouldn't use James. Yes, yes, I know you can't claim a name, but why make waves over something as trivial as middle names? And I say this as someone who is obsessed with names -- but in the whole scheme of life, middle names are hardly important. If it would really upset your SIL, it's not worth it. Your reason for wanting to use it is a good one, but the name would feel tainted to me because I would know that by using it I deliberately hurt someone.
Oh and FWIW, I've actually seen the Jerre spelling more than once before. I don't think it's too weird at all! Alexander Jerre is a good pick.
If I am understanding this correctly, you want to use Jerre for this child no matter what. Then, if you have another son, you want to use James. If that is the case, I think both you and SIL are making too big of a deal out of this. You can't claim a name until it is on a birth certificate, and you definitely can't claim a name before you are pregnant with the child you want to use the name for.
When the time comes, I don't see what is wrong with both of you using this name. In the mean time, I think you need to stop worrying about something that may never be an issue.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
I agree with all of you. I will say, however, that I should have clarified that my SIL gave me a list of names (yes, an actual list) I'm "not allowed to ever use because she might want to use them". I find that annoying, to say the very least. I don't want to hurt my SIL's feelings by any means, but I'm still annoyed. She also made a huge deal about the fact that "Alex" is a unisex nickname and not 'manly' enough for her. This is the same person who complained loudly about the fact that my son is not my daughter. I guess part of this post was meant to be a vent.
I know I sound like a brat, but it irks me.
As for the use of "Jerre"- if it wasn't my grandfather's name, I probably never would have used it
Before anyone accuses me of a youneek spelling, though- my grandfather changed it himself in the late 70s because he thought it sounded more professional.
It is still a unique spelling. Just because he did it instead of you doesnt make it legit!
This. And I don't think it would be weird for cousins to have the same middle name (or for one to have it as a first and the other to have it as a middle, etc). I know of cousins with the same middle name, Pearl, named after their great-grandmother.
Dont worry, that makes your SIL sound bad not you. I would totally ignore her list, she does sound like a twelve year old, but feel free to share the list so we all know what names are off limits. James is a very common MN, I would still use it, I actually hope my cousins use my DS's MN, it's our grandfather's.
This is why DH and I do not tell anyone until the baby is born. It is your child and you name it what you both want.
Names may not be claimed.
I would use James just to spite her. Seriously, a list that she "might" use? It'd be one thing if there was one super uncommon name that she was totally in love with and definitely going to use and told you about it. It's not a big deal for cousins to have the same middle name. On my dad's side my cousins MN are all Richard or James after relatives.
"Jerre" is unique, but not uncommon for my side of the family. I suppose I think it's normal because my grandfather, my uncle, my cousin, and my cousin's child all have it as a first name, different nicknames though. (Jerre, Jay, Jason, Jerred). My grandfather died four years ago- and it hurts that the man who helped raise me will never meet my son.
I do like the compromise of "Jeremy", though- I have to bring that up with DH! "Alexander James" is also awesome.
As for my SIL, she's a genuinely decent person, but sometimes just flat BSC. I honestly believe that she was trying to be helpful. Some of the "outlawed" names: James, Stephanie, Melissa, David, Stephen, Andrew, Elliot, Lila, Violet, Rose, Christina, Cooper. And if I was a different type of person, I would have named my son "Andrew Elliot David Stephen".
I love her, but that list is just not on.