Wives and Mother-In-Laws.
ladyjenna13
member
So, my father is coming over to help me switch some wall outlets out and work on some neglected plumbing issues tonight. My mom decided to tag along. Mind you, the house is not really up to par lately...I try the best I can to keep up, but I clean like a dude.
At 8pm last night the wife starts doing a hard core cleaning of the whole house. Apparently, I did not read her mind well enough and I am setting her up by having my folks come over tonight. I guess my wife told my mom that it would be next week, but I was never told that. From 8-10 it was target practice for my wife, with me as the target for a serious *** session!!!
I just keep trying to remind myself....2 1/2 more months and whoever this is will leave and I will get my wife back!!
What is it with wives and our mother's?? They get along very well in my case, but when it comes to the house, it is as if my mom will use the ocassion to slam my wife, according to her. I will never understand that, because the whole time I was telling her that if my mother has anything to say about the house, she can say it to me.
Women are whack!!
Re: Wives and Mother-In-Laws.
It took me a while to understand that women judge other women by the state their home is kept in. We had some fights when we first moved in together that consisted of me wanting to have friends (usually just the guys) over, her telling me that we had to clean in order for that to happen, and me being shocked and angry and just deciding to go to the bar instead. Men just don't judge other men by if the wastebasket in the bathroom is full (do we even USE that basket???). In fact, in my single days I remember giving friends crap if their apartments were *too* clean.
It's frustrating in circumstances like you described. The nice thing is, babies give women the ultimate excuse not to clean. "Sorry the place is such a mess..." "Oh my god, please don't worry about it! You have a BABY to take care of! Can I wash your dishes for you? Scrub your toilet?" Seems like ladies get a solid 6 months of free pass in that department once the baby arrives... except perhaps from the Mother-in-law. (Although my own mom is such a slob she'd never judge anyone else for their cleaning habits)
My parents live five minutes away, so.....
Everything turned out fine last night, of course. Get those two in a room together and it is like they have known each other since high school!! I will never understand them....
Of course, my mother HAD to start hanging up some of the baby clothes that we already have. I give her a pass.....first grandchild and she cannot wait to meet him.
Funny comments, guys!! Looks like none of us have a real grip on the females in our lives...keeps us on our toes, or gets us one step closer to the dirt nap!
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
Oooh, busting out the God card. I crushed my moms dreams the other week when I told her that my daughter won't be getting her sacraments
Getting her sacraments? Is that a catholic thing? I think my mom is secretly disappointed our LO won't be baptized. Luckily we're a "keep everything bottled up" kind of family.
Yeah, I was raised Roman Catholic. The 3 initiation sacraments are: Baptism, Communion, and the Eucharist. I was made to go to church growing up and took part in them. The funny thing is, my parents go to church maybe 2 or 3 times a year. It is kind of confusing to me but I try to keep an open mind on people doing what they want. But if you tell me something about my children getting their sacraments I'm not going to sugar coat saying that isn't happening.
There is a possibility I may have gotten through to her this time. Time can only tell. We have in the recent past received a somewhat big crucifix, my baptism outfit (this was even sent before my wife was pregnant mind you), and my mom gave my wife an exquisite painting of the last supper on a glossy cross-section of wood.
Moving away from my parents has made me appreciate them and be able to get along with them better. Growing up could have helped a little too.
Unlurking for a second. I'll go back into hiding in a minute. The thing about the state of the house is that lots of people (not just women) judge a person on their house keeping, or the cleanliness of the house. It is a means of judging how well they take care of their own things and by extension how well they will take care of other people's things. Whether or not your wife and mom get along you should always (ALWAYS) give your wife a hour heads up (minimum) or do the cleaning yourself to your wife's standards. Because whether or not you understand it, it's important to your wife and no one wants to cause their pregnant wife more stress than necessary.
You might think they get along, your mom and wife, and they probably do for the most part. But women don't fight fair and make back handed passive-aggressive comments (ex: "oh you have some dishes in the sink" when there is a single glass that was just placed there). To you that example might seem like nothing, but to some women that is the gauntlet being thrown. A tactful woman won't make an issue of it at the time, she'll wait and have her husband deal with his own mother. After all, she deals with her family, he should deal with his. So telling your wife that your mom can make comments about the house to you doesn't really help. You need to tell your mom that if she has anything to say about the house keeping or anything else until (whenever your wife will be back to the housekeeping or her usual household contribution) that she needs to direct it to you not your wife. If your mom asks why, it's because you don't want your wife all stressed out.
I would check with your wife if it bothered her that your mother was hanging things up in the nursery. Yes, this is your mom's 1st grandchild, but this is your first child and your wife may want to get to enjoy doing all of those things herself and/or with you. Especially if you are planning on having multiple kids. Your wife will only get this one chance to have peace while setting up the nursery the way she wants it or that you two have agreed upon. It might seem silly to you and petty, but if it's important to your wife, then it matters and it isn't silly.
Back into hiding.
someone slept through catechism...communion=eaucharist. same thing, dude. LOL
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someone slept through catechism...communion=eaucharist. same thing, dude. LOL
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Ha, I even tried to cheat and use wikipedia. My body just rejects it. Confirmation is the middle one.
Good insights!!
My wife thinks it is cute that she hung the clothes up....it was only like 5 outfits, so it was all good. My wife is very interesting in that she is a school psychologist, so she is really into the open communication and all that other "psych" stuff. When there is an issue between them, or even if she see that something my mother has done bothers me, she goes right to her and talks it out. A lot more than I would do!!
They are both great communicators, and when there is an issue, it gets addressed ASAP, even if my father and I are sitting there, silent, rolling our eyes at them as they "go at it".
The house cleaning thing, it is what it is, and I have to accept that this is something that "women do" amongst themselves.
Actually, confirmation is last. It is baptism, then first holy communion, then confirmation. I was baptised as an infant, did first holy communion in second grade, then confirmation in eighth grade.
babies make women crazy.
MIL and I got on pretty well. We weren't ever super close, but we were friendly and whilst the odd thing would irritate me, we had no problems.
Then we had a baby, and MIL just criticises everything, everytime I see her. It's subtle and it's done quickly and quietly and when she coos to my baby about how I'm not feeding her or being mean to her it makes me want to punch her.
Women do judge other people's homes, but most of us are polite enough to keep our mouths shut and be gracious guests.
Not all MILs are so polite, and if they once were, grandchildren can suddenly make them feel like they have a right to comment on everything.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Holy crap yes. Those tiny insignificant (seeming) jabs drive me bats*** crazy! My grandmother does it non stop by "talking to him"... mommy needs to put more clothes on you... mommy should have gotten you a different blanket... mommy doesn't feed you enough does she?... GAH!
The worst part... we live with her! It's just for right now because DH is in North Dakota working in the oil fields, and I'm too chicken to live alone. I'm praying we can find a house in ND though... dang housing crisis.
Got Swag?
Not that it really matters, but you missed 1st Reconciliation. Sorry, I was raised in a Catholic school.
You skipped Reconciliation.
That isn't a sacrament of initiation.
For the WIN!