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Blended Families
Cheerilee
member
Back from hometown visit and BM
Cheerilee
member
We have returned from our week and a half visit back from our hometown. We decided to fly rather than drive so we could spend the extra days with our family and friends. It was an awesome visit!
As soon as we go there, we let BM know so she could make arrangements to see SS. She saw him the second day we were in town in a supervised setting for one hour so we could help SS to transition to seeing her without us present. We've done this each time we've gone "home". She's back with the guy she was ordered not to date by the court as a stipulation for getting her kids back. That didn't last long...
The entire first visit she spent her time talking to DH about the old days and her current boyfriend. She barely acknowledged SS other than to snap pictures to Facebook that bragged about what a good mother she is to her oldest son that she misses so much. We told her that we could bring him by anytime after she was off work and to let us know. We didn't hear anything from her the following days so were sure to text her each day asking if she wanted to see him. She either didn't respond or said her boyfriend was sick with the flu.
Finally, she wanted to see SS. However, she told us that her boyfriend was still sick and she'd been in ER with her youngest the night before (turns out, it was actually the WEEK before). We told her we didn't feel comfortable with SS being in her house where everyone had the flu with me being pregnant. We offered to meet her at McDonalds to eat and play. She agreed. She also asked to borrow money since her job caught her not paying child support and began garnishing. Then, she showed up with her boyfriend and sick children. We paid to feed SS and her kids AND ended up giving her the money she asked for because we believed her sob story.
The next days, she had excuse after excuse to not see SS (all centered around things she was doing with her boyfriend and other children instead). She literally saw him MAYBE a total of 3 hours. DH called her several times to set something up. We didn't hear from her until we'd left to return home. We won't be back until Christmas.
I just cannot fathom her thought process. What kind of mother actually avoids seeing her child when she gets two chances a year? It's like she just wanted him around long enough to borrow money (though, we'll never see it again) then get on with her life. I just wish we could pay her to sign over rights...
"To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue...gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Back from hometown visit and BM
Sounds way too familiar.
The last time SSs saw BM was when we visited DH's hometown for Christmas and we couldn't get a hold of BM to see the boys for three days. She finally called, and set up something for a few hours, then didn't have presents for them, but claimed she could get some if they stayed longer. It was just odd.
I've paid for her family, including BM's father, stepmother, and half-sister at restaurants before.
Your BM and our BM are highly immature, to put it kindly, and in our BM's case, on drugs.
That's a bummer for your SS. But good for you guys for trying. Just count the money as a "charity" donation. Sigh.
I'm glad you had a good visit though.
I would have rather given to St. Jude
I was more than happy to feed her kids, though. And thanks! It was the last visit back until after the baby comes and we found out that quite a few family and friends are coming to visit us in September to see the new baby. We won't have to go as long without seeing them!