Soft Mattress and Co-Sleeping Options — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

Soft Mattress and Co-Sleeping Options

Does anyone have any suggestions for cosleeping/bedsharing with a soft mattress? My little guy won't sleep in his crib for more than 10min. But, being a post SIDS family ([email protected]), I don't want him on my super soft mattress. Right now, I sleep reclined against the wall, and he sleeps on my chest. It's not the best arrangement, and I'd like to get him into his crib before SIDS peaks at 2-4mos.  But, first, I've got to get him sleeping some where other than my chest. Most people I've talked to say to let him CIO, but A) at three weeks he's a little too young, and B) I don't believe in CIO as a rule.

An Arm's reach co-sleeper is out of my range while I'm not working (I'm a single parent) 

Re: Soft Mattress and Co-Sleeping Options

  • I am so sorry to hear about your nephew. Was he bed sharing when it happened?

    What we ended up doing was sidecarring the crib to our bed.  

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  • He was on the sofa that night. He'd fallen asleep there and my sister chose not to move him. She said she knew something was wrong when she woke up and it was light outside. There were a lot of "factors". My BIL smoked in the house and around my sister during pregnancy, they lived in the desert an didn't have AC, she placed him on the sofa in another room, my sister was a young mom, my BIL has native American blood. They've since had another child, and IDK how they survived the first 6mos. These first three weeks have made me crazy!

    I know that it's unlikely the same will happen to my little Alien, but it still scares the crap out of me. I have him nap in a PNP during the day so he's in the same room, and I peak over the side all the time to make sure he's still breathing.  there's so much evidence that co-sleeping and even bedsharing reduce SIDS. I've noticed that all anti-SIDS bedsharing seems to be more aimed at suffocation, accidental rolling over, etc that I've seen little that say bedsharing actually INCREASES the chance of SIDS. However, my mattress is SUPER soft, and I'm not willing to chance it.

    I'm thinking about telling his father to fork over 150$ and get the Arm's reach mini bassinet. The last time I asked him for financial assistance, he called me a money hungry female dog, accused me of sleeping around, and demanded a DNA test. *sigh* Hard to believe he's 32! 

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  • If he sleeps well in the PNP during the day can you put that in your room by your bed at night. Just being in the same room will help his SIDS risk, and he'll be right there where you can check on him if you get nervous. 
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  • Does your big kid have a firmer mattress? Perhaps you could trade beds for a while. I co-slept with my son in a single for the first few months, and it was fine. I put it against the wall on one side and bought a rail for the other.

    Also, if you want an ARC, watch craig's list. I got mine used for $50. It's old, but those things are built to last.

  • I'm sorry about your nephew :( Just wanted to say that if you think an Arm's Reach might be a good solution for you, I got mine on Craigslist for $40. I was watching for a long time and most were more like $80 in my area.
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  • My DD was the same way. . . She's still not a great sleeper (up to nurse and goes right back to sleep every 3-5 hours), but we do not believe in CIO.  She has never in her life slept for more than 20 minuyes on her back.  I know it goes against the rules, but I held her for a couple of months before we finally gave in and put her down onn her belly.  Other things that may help are to use a heating pad to warm up his crib before you lay him down, swaddling, white noise. . . We side-carred our crib and that has worked well for me since I nurse a couple of times each night.
  • Sorry about your nephew. 

    With DS we had him in a bassinet at the edge of our bed for about 3 months and then started cosleeping with him as he was a bit bigger at that point.

    This time around I had planned to cosleep right away.  I was going to get an arms reach cosleeper, but our bed is super high (DH built it and we have drawers underneath) so I don't think the cosleeper will be tall enough and I actually dont want spend the money knowing we will eventually go to straight cosleeping in our bed.  I talked to my doctor about and she said we can safetly start cosleeping right away, if we followed the "rules."  We also have the bassinet out and depending on how comfortable we feel may use that for a bit.  I would suggest starting with a bassinet or cosleeper until you are comfortable.  Eventually the little ones get big enough that it just feels more comfortable (or at least that was the situation for us last time around).


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  • How using about the Rock-n-Play? You can side car a crib to a bed by using bungee cords (or maybe zip ties?), and lashing the frames together.

    Both my kids were side-sleepers from little on...maybe that would work with getting him to sleep more independently? It's not considered tummy sleeping. hth

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • Did you try craigs list? I got mine MUCH cheaper on there.
  • Thank you everyone for the advice. It never occurred to me to check Craig's list! I'll do that ASAP. I'm also debating tearing down the crib and just moving the PNP back and forth. That's why we got it, after all. My 16 year old is sleeping on a twin sized mattress, so that idea is out for now. I feel a little bit better today since I got a solid night's sleep, albeit interrupted several times for nursing.

  • My mattress is sort of soft, and I'm a super light sleeper. I bed share when my LO wakes up from her swing. When I put her in bed with me, I spoon her. She's on her side right next to me. Not sure how you feel about that though.
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