Breastfeeding class...

PhillyGal34

I'm at my Breastfeeding class and I feel so awkward and angry. Everyone is waddling and looking uncomfortable and I am jealous.  I feel so ripped off. I didn't get to experience that stage and barely got to enjoy looking pregnant. The instructor knows my situation and asked how my LO was doing and one girls mom said "I was  wondering why you didn't look pregnant" ummm thanks.  Like another post said, I'm sure it was meant to be a compliment but ouch.  I didn't expect to feel this way for the class but I have a feeling it's going to be a rough two hours.

 

Does the anger/ resentment ever go away? 

urbanflowerpot

Oh, ouch. I felt that sting! I never went to a BF'ing class - I just worked with the NICU LC's - is that something you can do? Even after discharge I could still go see them/make an appt because the appt was considered for DS (I don't have insurance). I think I'd lose my marbles attending a class with a bunch of pg women.

The answer your question - I can't. It's different for every mom (dads get over it quickly, I think! It's so diff for them - I envy that). My H thinks I'm nuts for envying big bumps.

It's been 14 mo for me. One of my BFF's is pg and I'm so happy for her - there are no pangs, though when I gave her my belly bands to borrow I got a little wonky in the brain because I never needed maternity clothes - the bands are everything to me. Then she posted her most recent bump shot with my favorite on and I was just so happy! Nothing else. It was hardest for me when he was in NICU because there were huggge pg women everywhere and the entrance is also the driveway for maternity pick-ups. Slap in the face! I'm doing much better. It's a little harder once my friends/people I know/meet at park have passed his GA. I wonder how it feels - and then I feel sad. 

PhillyGal34

Thanks guys.  I struggled through it. I felt so awkward whenever she was say "this doesn't apply to you" or something specially for md but I know I need to get through those moments for him.  At the end some of the girls came and asked me questions. Like I was the expert. It was weird but I guess I have a week more experience than they do!

 I know its going to be a long road to healing fully but I wasn't prepared for this today. I didn't think of how being in that room with everyone feeling their bellies would make me feel.   I just looked at his picture every time I felt sad.  Then I remembered how lucky I am. 

rednelson

Is your LO already home? From your sig, I'm guessing not.  My advice would be to steer clear of the class for now and instead have the NICU lactation consultant meet with you for a one on one when it's time to start BFing.  It's true, a lot of what applies to BFing a full term baby will not apply to you and your LO.  In terms of whether you get over the sad/feelings of resentment-I'm over 8 months out and still feeling it although not quite as strongly as before.  Probably doesn't help that I work at the same hospital that everything went down at . Right now I'm contemplating taking the free counseling sessions our EI offers. Just know that it takes time, and give yourself as long as you need to work through it.

PhillyGal34

It was only a one day class but I'm going to skip the other classes I registered for.  I'll ask the nicu nurses and LC any other questions.  I guess there's always going to be something that stirs up these feelings though.  Tonight it was seeing my friends newborn on fb. I'm so happy for her but do jealous she gets to take her home in 2 days.