My NB story with my NB-Skeptical DH!

ncjulia12

Hi ladies!

You may remember me from my posts about my NB-Skeptical DH, especially this one: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/66300885.aspx where I shared some of the funny comments he had made...which some of you thought were funny and some of you were horrified by.  : )  

 So, here's my successful NB in a hospital birth story:

Early Saturday morning 12:30 am- 6:00 am
-Mild, timed contractions- down to 5 minutes apart
-Waited to wake up DH and doula and then contractions completely stopped at 6:00 am....so discouraged

Saturday 6:00 am- 3:00 pm or so
-Nothing except me moping around and baking

Saturday 3:00 pm -7:00 pm
-Started having mild contractions again and started timing- they got down to 4 minutes apart but still seemed really mild and I didn't think it was the real deal 
-Told DH, but didn't tell in-laws or friends we were visiting with
-Bounced on birth ball while watching TV

Saturday 7:15 pm- 8:15 pm
-My water broke at home- I was so ridiculously happy and excited
-Finished packing up, cut up brownies that I made to take to nurses, called family and doula
-Contractions started to get a little more intense- felt good to walk around on my tip-toes and then squat

Saturday 8:15 pm- 11:15 pm
-Checked into hospital and doula met us there 
-Still really excited, contractions mild, ate energy gel
-Got settled in L&D room and they put me on the monitor and checked me- dilated 5 cm 
-Listened to my iPod, asked them to dim the lights- spend almost the whole labor with my eyes closed
-Started throwing up- this continued every 10-20 minutes through labor- actually didn't bother me too much because when I was throwing up I didn't feel the pain 
-Contractions started to pick up- had no back labor or any other pain- just felt like very, very painful menstrual cramps
-Had a hard time getting coaxed out of bed by my doula, but felt so much better to be out of bed- walked, squatted, sat on birthing ball, went to the bathroom
-DH was great the whole time- holding the pan while I threw up, encouraging me, holding my hands while I was on the birthing ball
-At some point, the OB checked me and I was at 7- checking hurt even worse than the contractions
-Had to get back into bed to be monitored and the pain got really intense- I wasn't getting any breaks between contractions and was starting to get tired
-I asked the OB if it would be possible to get a little something to just take the edge of the pain, but he said he really didn't want me to have anything at that point because I was so close and it would make me groggy afterwards (So glad he said "no" because another OB might have said yes and I would have regretted it.)

Saturday 11:15 pm- 11:50 pm
-At 10, the OB got the nurse and doula to help me pull back my legs and push on my back.  I never visualized myself pushing that way and had told the doula that earlier so she asked the OB if I could squat or get on hands and knees and he said no.  At that point, I was so exhausted, I couldn't have imagined doing anything but staying on my back anyway.  
-The OB was very, very direct in his pushing instructions (which muscles to focus on or relax, exactly when to push, how to move my body, how much noise to make, when to breathe) which I didn't anticipate but I was very grateful for at the time because I didn't feel any cues from my body- just exhaustion.   
-Pushing didn't hurt at all but it seemed to last forever and I just despaired at one point and said that it was impossible and that the baby would never come.
- Finally, I felt the "ring of fire" which was uncomfortable but not bad and just exciting because I knew the baby was coming out
-At 11:50 pm- my beautiful 8 lb, 4 oz baby boy was here!  

I was so happy and relieved to have him safe and healthy in my arms, but I was really surprised that I didn't have an overwhelming hearts-puppies-and-butterflies reaction about my birth experience and baby.  Over the next 24 hours, that developed and I love him so much that I tear up thinking about it, but I didn't have that instant bond and magical easy breastfeeding that I was hoping the NB experience would help create.  

Over the past week, I've reflected a lot and I'm 100% happy with all my choices and so grateful for my healthy baby and that I was able to have the NB I planned. It was harder, more painful, and less magical than I imagined, but I know my baby and I are healthier and were exposed to less risks that way.  (I had two tears- one superficial and one 2nd degree but they haven't been an issue at all.)  

In closing (if anyone is still reading) I just want to emphasize again how great my DH was during labor and what a wonderful new dad he is.  I know several of you were concerned by his comments, but that's just his sense of humor and I can't help myself from sharing one more with you...

When I was going over the birth plan with DH a few weeks ago, he said, "Oh and add this- 'I'd prefer to give birth standing on my head so the baby can gently peek out of my vagina.  I read about it on the internet.  Three people commented on it.' "

Still makes me laugh.  : )  Thanks so much for all your support, ladies!

Jcrab

Good work Momma and great story!!! You should be very very proud I yourself for persevering despite your DH's lack of support. I bet he is a believer now, huh? The NB high took a bit for us too because the last 5 minutes of my delivery were absolutely scary and we ended up taking baby to the hospital to be checked out just in case. Anyhow, I am starting to process the birth (baby is 7 days old)and think it was still awesome and I wouldnt change anything. Congrats again!

catsinawindow

Congratulations, mama, you did a great job!

I didn't feel that instant rush of happiness or love after my birth either.  I just felt tired and relieved it was over.  I thought something was wrong with me because people only ever talk about instantly falling in love and being overjoyed with their baby. 

The way you felt/are feeling is completely normal, too.  It'll take time.  DS is my world now .

EmmyPumpkin

Congratulations!!! You did an amazing job and so did hubby! So happy for you!

Thank you for sharing your story with us, it's so positive and inspirational!  

kaeti_su

Congratulations! I'm so glad it went so well for you!

I laughed about you not minding throwing up-- that's exactly how I felt when I had a bad kidney stone attack. I preferred throwing up because it took my focus away from the pain.

I remembering being really happy and excited after DD was born, but I didn't have that amazing, magical, "I am woman" moment, either. It didn't feel like I did anything special. I've heard that from several posters on this board, so I think it's totally normal not to have that but then really like your birth experience upon reflection.

Jumpin4joy

What a great story! I'm glad you and baby are fine.  I am contemplating NB and your story really helped!

KateLouise

Congratulations and well done to you both. So glad DH was everything you needed him to be. Although I often think men are better in the moment than they are in the talking and planning stage.

Hope you're settling in nicely with your beautiful wee boy. 

BostonGayGal

Congrats! I am thrilled to hear it went well! I was rooting for you both.

Klikina

I'm so glad you got the birth you wanted, and most importantly that your DH was supportive of you!

I remember how good it felt to finally throw up after feeling nauseus (sp?) for like 6 hours. I've heard that when that happens you're near the end! As far as the high, I don't remember getting it, but I also pushed for 3 hours so I was just relieved it was over. I also fainted about 45 mins later when the nurse was helping me to the bathroom (which also isn't uncommon after labor) so I was pretty sleepy the rest of the night after that. There are so many other great benefits to going med-free, so don't feel bad that you didn't feel the high - not everyone does and everyone has different reactions.

Again, congrats!