"Virtual" Shower?

Befuel

My MIL is very kind-hearted, but sometimes can be a little pushy when it comes to doing things her way. My husband and I moved out of state just before I got preganant, and since we don't have many close friends here yet, she's offered to throw a baby shower for us back home. Work schedules and financial restrictions (we'd either have to pay $$$ to fly or drive 14 hours) have made it tough for us to commit to come back for the shower, so she's decided she wants to do a "virtual" shower. Meaning, she would invite everyone to her house and I would be included via Skype. I don't know how included one can be at their own baby shower on Skype (which I hate anyway) so I feel like the potential for awkwardness is huge.

I also just don't know if I can do that to my friends - "Can you all come to my in-law's house and hang out for my baby shower even though I won't be there?" I am grateful that she's trying to do something nice for us, but I just kind of want to tell her not to go to the trouble. Is there any way to tell her thanks but no thanks without sounding like a total beeyotch?

danieliza1127

Is there a mod on this board that can delete all the duplicates?

As far as the virtual shower, I wouldn't be down for that either and your friends probably wouldn't want to go if you aren't actually going to be there.  Your MIL's family might still come because they could see and visit with her and their own family, but others probably wouldn't.  I would just tell her how much you appreciate the offer but that you and your H just aren't comfortable with the idea, basically thanks but no thanks.  Be sure to be appreciative of the thought, but say no at the same time.  If you don't feel comfortable saying it, have your H tell her.

EastCoastBride

danieliza1127:

As far as the virtual shower, I wouldn't be down for that either and your friends probably wouldn't want to go if you aren't actually going to be there.  Your MIL's family might still come because they could see and visit with her and their own family, but others probably wouldn't.  I would just tell her how much you appreciate the offer but that you and your H just aren't comfortable with the idea, basically thanks but no thanks.  Be sure to be appreciative of the thought, but say no at the same time.  If you don't feel comfortable saying it, have your H tell her.

ALl of this.  "We appreciate the offer, but we're really not comfortable w/ the idea.  We hate asking for gifts in the first place, and if we cna't even be there to see everyone - it's just really awkward and we'd rather not do it.". 

And if she remains hard headed about it, simply don't be available any of the dates and times she gives you.  Sure, she'll get mad and she may say "you can't be busy ALL these times", you all just smile and say "Well, we are.  Sorry!".  And leave it at that. 

 

kaseykins

personally I would suck it up and spend the 300 bucks for a flight back home and be grateful for the shower. I think your mother in law is fantastic even though the virtual shower is sooo odd

rhubarb123

I agree with the above posters.  I'm OK with a "virtual" shower IF the MTB is bedridden or cannot travel because of other health reasons...but because you are financially hard up is not a reason (in my mind).  I would probably drive.  Course we drive everywhere and a 14 hour drive is nothing.  Leave at 9 pm and get there at 11 the next morning.  We just did it this last week - for vacation on the coast (and that was with 3 kids!).  I probably wouldn't fly because then you have the issue of getting things back home.