feel like the worst mum in the world
Well my postpartum depression hit an all-time high today and I had to let my ex take Emma until my meds kick in. Long story short before the split my ex was in another country for 3 years (military) I suffered from depression while he was gone but thought it would be better when he came home. That was not to be we had a rough time when he got back, his infidelity etc. was hard for me to handle. We made a go of it, I got pregnant, he left me at 3 months. I have held it together for 9 months now and finally it just got a little too much for me to handle. I am from England so I have no family or friends in this country and no one to help out.
I feel like a horrible mum but I have to do what?s best for my child and get better. So I let him take her for two weeks (and its breaking my heart).
My question is do you guys ever feel overwhelmed by being a single mum, if so do you have any tips or ways you deal with the loneliness or responsibility.
I have a great job, the baby is awesome I am not worried about money I just feel so worried that I am not going to do a good job as a mum that I become so anxious it?s not funny. I would post this on the PPD board but I think single mums might understand more what I am going through. I am so scared of losing her that I am making it happen.
I love this little girl so much that any advice is appreciated (I am seeing a doctor for the PPD).
Re: feel like the worst mum in the world
Oh, lord yes! I live with my parents ATM, so I lean on them a lot. It's not so bad right now that I'd turn him over. In fact, I feel better with him in my arms. It's reassuring and comforting. But, over the last 16 years, there have been times I just needed a break. My parents would watch DD and I'd go out to a movie or to Barnes and Noble...just to get away.
The trick is KNOWING you need to step away. And, then being strong enough to do it. Being a good mom sometimes means taking care of you so you can take care of baby. We are all terrified of losing our LOs. Even though it's unlikely, the possibility is there. It ends up being what we focus on. It can and does make us crazy. What you're feeling is normal.
I hope you feel better soon, and FWIW, I think it takes a very strong woman to know she needs a break.
I think you are a great mom. To be able to recognize that you have to do the hardest thing in the world, give up your little girl for a bit, so that you can get better, that is being a good mom.
I realized very quickly that is it OK to say I need help, I need a break, I NEED FIVE MINUTES! And trust me when I say that the hardest thing for me to ever do, with anything, is ask for help. I don't have anyone here, my parents are an hour away, and we go there almost every weekend to visit. One, because they love my little girl so much, they hate going a day without seeing her, two because I value my time with them so much and value seeing them spend time with little one, but three, because I just need five minutes sometimes. I need someone to hold her when she is being needy and I need to get dressed. Or to take a shower that lasts more than two minutes and I get to shave my legs.
Knowing and admitting you need some time...that makes you a great mom. Baby won't ever remeber the time you sent her to dad's for two weeks. Trust me...but she will remember what a great mom she had her whole life.