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Multiples
Starting to freak out
My twins have been home form the NICU for almost a month. They are just about 8 weeks old. My husband goes back to work tomorrow after being home with us the past month. I thought I would be fine, but now I'm starting to get nervous.
I think I am going to stop pumping. BF has been awful, the boys dont do that great of a job, my supply is low, and its sooo time consuming to attempt to bf, then give a bottle, then pump. Repeat every 3 hours. Its hard even with my husband here! I dont make enough milk to feed one of the boys, let alone two, so i cant skip supplementing with a bottle. And they are on increased calorie formula as well. I'm sure my supply will tank even more if i stop pumping, but I really cant fathom doing all that alone.
I will be hiring someone to come by for a few hours a couple times a week,but I'm still worried I'm going to get overwhelmed. Any advice?
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Re: Starting to freak out
If you feel like BF/pumping is too much, then don't feel guilty at all about giving it up. I didn't make it as long as I wanted to, and basically stopped cold turkey. Even with low supply issues it hurt like the dickens! If you get so engorged that you are in pain and struggling, have YH bind your chest up with a really long ace bandage. As tight as you can possibly stand it. It will hurt like crazy at first, but it was the only way I could sleep while I was drying up (about a week). And cabbage leaves will help relieve some of the heat of it as well.
Take as much help as you can get. Maybe have your helper do dishes/laundry/stuff like that?
Don't feel guilty about not BF. All 3 of mine were exclusively bottle fed from Day 1 and they're perfect! You tried and gave your best effort, but it's not good for them either for you to be so stressed out! One of the Lactation Nurses made the comment to me that there will be a lot more to stress and feel guilty about during their lifetime, and breastfeeding (or not) shouldn't be one of them! And she was right!
You'll do fine tomorrow. My guess is that you will surprise yourself! Just take it one step at a time and have it in your mind that they will cry! GL!
I lasted less than 2 months bfing my son doing the same thing you are doing and only pumped the 3 weeks my girls were in the NICU. All the nurses told me I had done a wonderful thing doing it while they were there. I can't imagine doing it now with my husband working and traveling and now we have more time to play and snuggle without me being tied to the pump.
As far as being overwhelmed, you will be at times but do the best you can. Remember, the housework will always be there. I set small goals for myself of those sorts of things to get done and get the rest done when everyone goes to bed. The most important thing is taking care of the kids and everything else will get done eventually! GL!
Don't plan on doing anything the first few days alone but eat and take care of babies. Shower when dh gets home, sleep when they sleep. Then you can slowly add more stuff as you get time, but be realistic with your to?do lists.
I absolutely panicked when my mom went home after 6 weeks and my husband was back at work. I was able to get some help from people at my church - lots of grandmas were more than happy to come to my house and snuggle babies with me. It gave me some time to do the chores I needed to do and helped me not to feel too isolated.
Shower in the evenings after DH is home - I still do that. I also make sure I get dressed before he leaves for work in the morning. I feel much more like a human being with clothes on than being in my PJs at 1:00.
Breathe, hang in there, and get some help if you need it.