Would you be offended.... — The Bump
Parenting after 35

Would you be offended....

if you came home and found a small American Flag on your lawn?  I am seriously considering buying some and doing it for the 4th of July in my neighborhood.   Again today, a shockingly few flags out there.

I was also thinking of including a note encouraging people to continue flying the flag for national holidays, and perhaps even purchase a larger one for their house.  Would that be a step too far?

What do ya think?  I'd ask neighbors, but I think I'd rather be anonymous with this.

 

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Re: Would you be offended....

  • I think it's weird to encourage your neighbors to buy flags.  I mean, if they're you're friends and you mention it or want to organize a group discount, maybe it's ok.  But, with flags or any other decor on my lawn, I would not want someone to put in my lawn for me.  
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  • I'm in Canada so I'll go with Canadian flag, I wouldn't be upset. I would think it was a bit odd but a cute idea if it was just the flag and a happy message. If it was done near Canada Day it would make sense, I know certain newspapers and stores give them out near Canada day. I guess it's odd that you want your neighbours to have one so much you'll buy it for them but not bad odd.

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  • Ok.. that's what I was wondering.  

    For background, kirac, on Memorial Day I noted that only 8 out of 100+ homes in my neighborhood flew flags, and almost no one even has the brackets.  Since then, it's kinda stuck in my craw, so to speak.  Where I grew up, the VFW Post or the Boy Scouts would go around on the 4th of July putting flags on lawns.   To me, it's weird that hardly anyone here has a flag at all.

    What exactly would bother you about it?   I mean, it's an American flag.  Would you think it's tacky/annoying/presumptious to have someone put one on your lawn?  Would you be offended by it?    And if you didn't end up getting a flag, would you feel like you're "singled out" as not patriotic, etc?

    Not starting an argument.. just looking for honest reactions.

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  • imageblush64:

    I'm in Canada so I'll go with Canadian flag, I wouldn't be upset. I would think it was a bit odd but a cute idea if it was just the flag and a happy message. If it was done near Canada Day it would make sense, I know certain newspapers and stores give them out near Canada day. I guess it's odd that you want your neighbours to have one so much you'll buy it for them but not bad odd.

    Oriental Trading has 'em cheap... something like 72 of them for $5 or something.  I figure I can spend $20 for something like this.  Of course, they're all made in China, but that's another issue!  :)

    And maybe it's a Midwestern thing?  My Army wife friend in Kansas says someone did this in their neighborhood this morning and she loved it.

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  • imageBrideBuddies:

    Ok.. that's what I was wondering.  

    For background, kirac, on Memorial Day I noted that only 8 out of 100+ homes in my neighborhood flew flags, and almost no one even has the brackets.  Since then, it's kinda stuck in my craw, so to speak.  Where I grew up, the VFW Post or the Boy Scouts would go around on the 4th of July putting flags on lawns.   To me, it's weird that hardly anyone here has a flag at all.

    What exactly would bother you about it?   I mean, it's an American flag.  Would you think it's tacky/annoying/presumptious to have someone put one on your lawn?  Would you be offended by it?    And if you didn't end up getting a flag, would you feel like you're "singled out" as not patriotic, etc?

    Not starting an argument.. just looking for honest reactions.

    It could totally be a Midwestern thing.  I'm in CA (Hollywood) so people don't put anything in someone else's yard where I live.  I would wonder where it came from and how it got there.  If my neighbor asked me if I wanted one, I would think that would be nice.  Just weird if it appeared out of nowhere.  If I didn't get one, it wouldn't bother me.  

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  • imageBrideBuddies:
    imageblush64:

    I'm in Canada so I'll go with Canadian flag, I wouldn't be upset. I would think it was a bit odd but a cute idea if it was just the flag and a happy message. If it was done near Canada Day it would make sense, I know certain newspapers and stores give them out near Canada day. I guess it's odd that you want your neighbours to have one so much you'll buy it for them but not bad odd.

    Oriental Trading has 'em cheap... something like 72 of them for $5 or something.  I figure I can spend $20 for something like this.  Of course, they're all made in China, but that's another issue!  :)

    And maybe it's a Midwestern thing?  My Army wife friend in Kansas says someone did this in their neighborhood this morning and she loved it.

    I'm not especially close to my neighbours. If I spoke to them regularly or if we were close I could see doing something like that. I don't think it's a bad idea.

    It's not costing much so I suppose there's no reason not to. Maybe some people like it, maybe some don't care either way but I wouldn't think anyone would be upset.

  • DO IT! It's a cute 4th thing to do IMO and also IMO people should remember to be more patriotic and less complain-y about this country. ...but then they have the freedom to complain. That in itself is patriotic. ? Whatever, I think a "Happy 4th!" note with a message on the back done on the DL is good - our 4th shouldn't be about getting upset over our flag or simply BBQs. IMO IMO ;)
  • steverstever member
    The little flag on the 4th - not remotely offended. The note suggesting we buy a larger one - I'd be really annoyed/offended/pissed.
  • steverstever member
    imageBrideBuddies:

    Ok.. that's what I was wondering.  

    For background, kirac, on Memorial Day I noted that only 8 out of 100+ homes in my neighborhood flew flags, and almost no one even has the brackets.  Since then, it's kinda stuck in my craw, so to speak.  Where I grew up, the VFW Post or the Boy Scouts would go around on the 4th of July putting flags on lawns.   To me, it's weird that hardly anyone here has a flag at all.

    What exactly would bother you about it?   I mean, it's an American flag.  Would you think it's tacky/annoying/presumptious to have someone put one on your lawn?  Would you be offended by it?    And if you didn't end up getting a flag, would you feel like you're "singled out" as not patriotic, etc?

    Not starting an argument.. just looking for honest reactions.

    What "sticks in my craw" is people with American flags in their yard assuming they're more patriotic, and somehow better Americans, than me because I don't have a big ass flag in my yard.

     You know I love you BB, and I don't believe it's a regional thing since my step-dad put a humongous flag in my mom's yard and we live in CA, but asking people to buy flags IS an awful lot like testing their patriotism.

  • imageBrideBuddies:
    imageblush64:

    I'm in Canada so I'll go with Canadian flag, I wouldn't be upset. I would think it was a bit odd but a cute idea if it was just the flag and a happy message. If it was done near Canada Day it would make sense, I know certain newspapers and stores give them out near Canada day. I guess it's odd that you want your neighbours to have one so much you'll buy it for them but not bad odd.

    Oriental Trading has 'em cheap... something like 72 of them for $5 or something.  I figure I can spend $20 for something like this.  Of course, they're all made in China, but that's another issue!  :)

    And maybe it's a Midwestern thing?  My Army wife friend in Kansas says someone did this in their neighborhood this morning and she loved it.

     

    Could definitely be a midwest thing as it seems that there is more overall emphasis on God, family and country.  I grew up there and have lived in every region of the country and while Texas has the most state pride, I haven't found anywhere else that was quite like the midwest.  After 9/11 I thought maybe the country was coming back around to that pride, but it was short-lived.  After spending a lot of time in Canada over the last couple of years I must say that their national pride puts us to shame.

     

    I would go with my grandfather on Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Flag Day and put flags up on all the graves of those that served in the armed forces in our local cemetery.  There was always a parade in town, a band, a street fair and most every home flew the flag.  

    I don't think what you want to do should be offensive, however there will always be those that think that it will be.  Maybe put the flag on their doorstep or at least near the front step rather than in the middle of the lawn with a note wishing them a happy Flag Day.  Sometimes people just forget - and have forgotten.  I don't think asking them to fly a flag on holidays might be the best idea as it could come off as pretentious, but giving them a flag with a goodwill wish is certainly a good, not-so-subtle hint.

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  • I wouldn't be offended.  Actually, our town used to do this. Put little flags all over the grass between the sidewalk and the street.  But we live on a semi-major street in my town, so it could be due to that.

    I was flying my flag today?for Flag Day!

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  • I wouldn't be offended.  A realtor in my parent's town (in CA) puts little flags in the lawns for 4th of July.  My parents love it (they do hang a full size flag too).
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  • I would be offended, as would many of my neighbors.  We live in a city near a major university, with many international professors and staff.  Putting an American flag on their lawn is disrespectful to their culture and nationality.  

    Fundamentally, it's my lawn, and one of the wonderful things about living in this country is that I'm able to display what I want, when I want.  Putting something on my lawn is illegal.  Pressuring me to display something also seems, well, unamerican, even if you're pressuring me to display a flag.

    Maybe this is a regional thing-I'm on the east coast-but I think it's a well-intentioned but bad idea.  Let people choose how to celebrate their patriotism for themselves. 

  • Wow.. .great debate, ladies!

    Talked it over with the hubs and I'm not going to do it, even though I have no problem with doing it.  He was more annoyed that I wanted to spend money on our neighbors <eyeroll>.  Plus he pointed out that we are already super busy around the 4th of July and I'd probably never find the time to do it... a very good point.

    I should add.. I'm not an uber-patriotic person to begin with, compared to some people.  I just grew up in a place where it was just natural to fly the flag on certain holidays.  As I grow older, I find it's kind of sad that so many people don't pay attention to details like this.   I want my son to appreciate why we have these holidays and that a nation's flag is a symbol of that.

    Have a great Father's Day weekend, ya'll!

     

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  • imagefredalina:
    I think I would wrap the flag in a friendly note ("Happy Independence Day from your neighbor" or something innocuous) and put them on the doorstep.

    I've done this before to all of the houses on the street where I live.  My note said something to the affect of Happy Independence Day - from your neighborhood Army Veteran; please display me proudly.

    I say...DO IT!  Sorry...little late to the convo.

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  • i'm not easily offended ... but yes, i would be totally annoyed if someone was trying to 'encourage' my patriotism.  also, a flag is easy, but real patriotism takes work and that isn't always visible.

    my advice, lead by example, maybe folks will follow. 

  • imagelawry13:
    I wouldn't be offended.  A realtor in my parent's town (in CA) puts little flags in the lawns for 4th of July.  My parents love it (they do hang a full size flag too).

    We have a local realtor who does this as well - puts it under each mailbox. It doesn't offend me, though i do throw away the business card attached to the wooden stick!

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  • New Yorker chiming in.  I wouldn't be offended at all.  I think it would make me smile.  I also wouldn't interpret it as a  comment on my patriotism or lack thereof.  I would just assume I had a neighbor who was celebrating our country.  Sorry you voted against doing it.  Would have been fun to hear what reactions people had. 

  • Another New Yorker chiming in - I wouldn't be offended at all. In fact one of the local businesses here every 4th of July puts small American flags in people's lawns up and down the blocks.  It looks amazing and I've never heard anyone complain.

    Of course they have a small tag advertising their business but it's barely noticable and still looks good.

  • I am extremely patriotic - DH even makes fun of me for it. But even then I have to say that if I wanted a flag I would buy one. I know they are available, I am capable of putting one up. I would be pissed if someone else put a flag (or any other decoration) in my yard. The message is basically, "This is important to me so it should be important to you to."
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  • That would be so nice to do.  I, personally, would not be offended and probably cannot think of a single friend who would (or conversely would likely not befriend someone who would). We need more pride in what the flag stands for!
  • I accidentally clicked this board and read this post....I suppose I almost qualify to post here....

    Another NYC'er--- 09.11 survivor  and out of all the horror and bad following that...I miss the eat visible love for our country that followed. How quickly we seem to forget. I wouldn't be offended. Honestly, I think it's a great idea. I wouldn't include the stuff about buying a bigger flag, though. If I were to put a note, I would say something like " Happy Independence Day... Let's fly our great flag and celebrate our country and eachother on this day ". Or something like that.

    Oh and putting something on someone's lawn isn't illegal....if that were so, around here we would have a million Chinese delivery places in jail. Also, if you are " international" and here in America, that doesn't mean Americans can't celebrate their paritoic holidays and have to worry about " offending" people from other countries. I mean do you think the French expect others to walk on eggshells around  Bastille Day IN FRANCE  just because a person is from XYZ country? No.  

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