Mom opened nothing.

PatsyGK21

Just came from a shower where the mother to be did not open the gifts, but all the other traditional baby shower activies were there. I've never been to a shower of any kind where the guest of honor didnt open the gifts at the event, it was weird. Especially since my gift was handmade, I would have liked to see her reaction to it.

Has anyone else seen this done before?

 

ccam

shmeell25:

No, I've never been to a shower where they didn't open the gifts. It would irritate me, too. 

AnonnAni

I've seen some moms do that at their kids birthday parties IF it were at a venue and the time has elapsed for the event but never for a baby shower or regular gift giving celebration.  It seems unappreciative. Yikes.

denise_m

It's pretty common in our area. I kinda like it, it gives everyone more time to socialize and enjoy each other. Nothing is rushed and it's easier for mom to keep track of gifts and gift givers. 

 If you wanted to see her open your gift, you could have asked her before you left.  

KarmB

i wish I did that. took forever to open them all and I didnt get to spend much time with my guest and it didnt help my anxiety any.

Carla6394

i think that this is terribly rude.

ILoveRedVino

I think it is weird, but I think it is even weirder that the shower was on a Wednesday morning/afternoon... unless this was a work shower.

jlh2716

Yes, and I felt weird about it. Kind of felt cheated, in a way, since I enjoy seeing the reaction of the MTB when she opens my gift (yes, I buy something from the registry, but I also like to include other things not on the registry that she might need).

Aleja0918

shmeell25:

No, I've never been to a shower where they didn't open the gifts. It would irritate me, too. 

This. People took time out of their schedules to attend the shower and purchase a gift. Opening them in front of guests is the least she could've done.

FemShep

Aleja0918:

shmeell25:

No, I've never been to a shower where they didn't open the gifts. It would irritate me, too. 

This. People took time out of their schedules to attend the shower and purchase a gift. Opening them in front of guests is the least she could've done.

Exactly.  

EastCoastBride

I just feel like if you can't be bothered to take the time to open the gifts, then don't have a shower.  That's the whole point- showering the MTB w/ the gifts.  Is it the most thrilling way to spend an afternoon (meaning the guests- watching the MTB open gift after gift after gift)?  No, but it's what people expect at a shower and people do like to see THEIR gift opened.

If you just want to socialize, then just have a party.  A NON-gift party. 

RoxyLynn

That's really weird.  And you made a handmade gift, too!  What a shame.

BallSox

This needs to be stickies for every twit who thinks she's doing her guests a fair by not opening gifts at her shower. 

BallSox

Damn autocorrect. Stickied, and favor. 

naybird

I think it's rude!   I was able to socialize while opening my gift

sowingseasons

I've been to a few where this happened. There could be a few reasons behind it. Was time an issue? Is she normally a shy mother? Does she not like too much attention on her? Not saying these are excusable reasons for the partial rudeness they could be factors.  Did she send personable thank you cards yet? I would be upset if she didn't open them in front of you and then sent generic thank yous!

klondikebar

EastCoastBride:

I just feel like if you can't be bothered to take the time to open the gifts, then don't have a shower.  That's the whole point- showering the MTB w/ the gifts.  Is it the most thrilling way to spend an afternoon (meaning the guests- watching the MTB open gift after gift after gift)?  No, but it's what people expect at a shower and people do like to see THEIR gift opened.

If you just want to socialize, then just have a party.  A NON-gift party. 

All of this. A shower is a gift giving event. Open the damn gifts. lol

CJC2011

Weird but maybe she knew attendees couldnt afford a gift and didn't want to embarrass them?

ChristyML

CJC2011:

Weird but maybe she knew attendees couldnt afford a gift and didn't want to embarrass them?

Even if that were the case (which it doesn't sound like), it would still be extremely rude to the people who did bring a gift. No one is going to call the other guests out on not bringing a gift. That would be just as rude as not opening the gifts.... 

Cranang

BallSox:

This needs to be stickies for every twit who thinks she's doing her guests a fair by not opening gifts at her shower. 

I was about to post exactly this, but BallSox beat me.  This seriously needs to be a sticky.

orgnlmama

denise_m:

It's pretty common in our area. I kinda like it, it gives everyone more time to socialize and enjoy each other. Nothing is rushed and it's easier for mom to keep track of gifts and gift givers. 

 If you wanted to see her open your gift, you could have asked her before you left.  

I agree.  It isn't common in my area, but if someone isn't comfortable sitting and being in the spotlight for hours (mine literally took over 2 hours) then so  be it.  I wouldn't want the MTB to be uncomfortable at her own shower.  And to want/expect your gift to be opened in front of a crowd makes it sound like you wanted to see everyone else's reaction to your fabulous gift.  If you wanted to be with MTB when she opened it, you should have waited for a quiet moment with her and asked her to open it.

Cranang

orgnlmama:

denise_m:

It's pretty common in our area. I kinda like it, it gives everyone more time to socialize and enjoy each other. Nothing is rushed and it's easier for mom to keep track of gifts and gift givers. 

 If you wanted to see her open your gift, you could have asked her before you left.  

I agree.  It isn't common in my area, but if someone isn't comfortable sitting and being in the spotlight for hours (mine literally took over 2 hours) then so  be it.  I wouldn't want the MTB to be uncomfortable at her own shower.  And to want/expect your gift to be opened in front of a crowd makes it sound like you wanted to see everyone else's reaction to your fabulous gift.  If you wanted to be with MTB when she opened it, you should have waited for a quiet moment with her and asked her to open it.

You shouldn't have to ask someone to open a present.  It is expected.  I don't care if the MTB is uncomfortable.  Then she shouldn't have agreed to a shower.  That's like inviting a bunch of people to a wedding, but having the ceremony in private because you don't like being the center of attention.  Buck up, sweetheart, and open the gifts that people spent their money and time on getting you.  It's rude otherwise.

cmhicklin

orgnlmama:

denise_m:

It's pretty common in our area. I kinda like it, it gives everyone more time to socialize and enjoy each other. Nothing is rushed and it's easier for mom to keep track of gifts and gift givers. 

 If you wanted to see her open your gift, you could have asked her before you left.  

I agree.  It isn't common in my area, but if someone isn't comfortable sitting and being in the spotlight for hours (mine literally took over 2 hours) then so  be it.  I wouldn't want the MTB to be uncomfortable at her own shower.  And to want/expect your gift to be opened in front of a crowd makes it sound like you wanted to see everyone else's reaction to your fabulous gift.  If you wanted to be with MTB when she opened it, you should have waited for a quiet moment with her and asked her to open it.

Kind of conceited is what I was thinking.

bklynbmp

I absolutely LOVE when they don't open the gifts.  The last thing I want to spend an afternoon doing is watch someone open a bunch of boxes.  I'd much rather mingle and enjoy the party.

PatsyGK21

ILoveRedVino:

I think it is weird, but I think it is even weirder that the shower was on a Wednesday morning/afternoon... unless this was a work shower.

I thought it was weird too, but the mom to be's only days off are tues and wed. I was suprised at how many people were there.

Aleja0918

I fail to see what's conceited about expecting your gift to be opened during a shower which is a gift-giving event. It has nothing to do with me thinking I've found the best pacifier in all the land and I am jumping at the opportunity to show it off to everyone in attendance so they can be amazed at my great find.

If the MTB couldn't be bothered with such a simple task, she should've declined the shower and bought the items for her baby on her own.

ah625

Some people feel awkward opening gifts in front of a large crowd, or dislike being the center of attention.

 

RoxyLynn

ah625:

Some people feel awkward opening gifts in front of a large crowd, or dislike being the center of attention.

Which is why they should decline a shower if it is offered.

ah625

RoxyLynn:

Which is why they should decline a shower if it is offered.

Some women don't have a choice. Showers are forced on people all the time. Then if you don't show up, you're ungrateful. 

 

It's really pathetic that you're all saying the things you are about the MTB when you don't know her, or the situation. Hell, OP doesn't even know the situation fully. This could be a situation where she was lied to about a get together and showed up to a shower.  You don't know. And you're very hateful for judging.

Pokedot

I've never been to a shower that did that, however a colleagues wife did this (before we ever met). My boss, his aunt mentioned that I better be opening my gifts at my shower and I of course did.

To me its rude because people take the time to shop, wrap and show up. The least you can do is open the gifts. Yes it does take a bit but people are there for that and to talk to the guest of honor!

Cranang

ah625:

Some people feel awkward opening gifts in front of a large crowd, or dislike being the center of attention.

 

Like I said before, buck up and open your gifts.  I don't care that you feel awkward.  I feel awkward in lots of situations, but as an adult, I have to do things.  I don't like job interviews, but I have to go in there and feel awkward.  If you're old enough to have a baby, then you need to act like an adult and get over your hangups.  It's not like someone is forcing you to compete in a bikini contest or give an impromptu speech for an auditorium full of people.  The guests at showers are generally family and friends, and if you're so backward that you can't function in front of people you know, then you have bigger issues.

rhubarb123

I think people do that because they figure guests don't want to sit around and watch them open gifts.  That's a bunch of crap since almost all guests like to see THEIR gift opened.  If I had been a guest at that shower she would have opened the gift I brought or I seriously would have taken it home with me.  Would that be rude?  Yes, but if she absolutely refused to open my gift after I specifically asked her to then I would just tell her that I will give it to her at a time when she has the time to open it when I'm there.  I think most MTB's would open a gift if specifically requested to do so...even if they had not intended to open gifts.

I had a "meet the baby party" and received many gifts.  They were put to the side since not everyone brought one.  I intended to open them later after everyone left but I had a couple of people ask me to open their gift.  I didn't have a problem opening them.

JenWhite123

Carla6394:

i think that this is terribly rude.

 

Yep. Rude. 

BallSox

ah625:

RoxyLynn:

Which is why they should decline a shower if it is offered.

Some women don't have a choice. Showers are forced on people all the time. Then if you don't show up, you're ungrateful. 

 

It's really pathetic that you're all saying the things you are about the MTB when you don't know her, or the situation. Hell, OP doesn't even know the situation fully. This could be a situation where she was lied to about a get together and showed up to a shower.  You don't know. And you're very hateful for judging.

 

Forced upon them? I highly doubt there is a gun to their head.  Talk about over dramatic. If you don't want to open presents and be courteous and pleasant, don't have a shower. If someone surprises you with a shower, suck it up and be an adult.