A bit freaked out--Someone calm me down!

SandiaPinaMama

I'm sorry to be a bit of a PW on this topic--I mean, I think I mentioned it last week or something--anyway, today I called to schedule an appt to get my IUD removed, and I had two options: July or tomorrow.  Of course, I took the tomorrow, but now I'm a bit freaked out, like, are we really going to do this again??  How in the world will I care for both?  I just got my body back (kind of), and now I am going to forfeit it again? 

And yet, I am excited!  Ugh. 

There's no one IRL to talk with about this because DH and I always have a secrecy pact.  We don't say any little word until what's done is done. 

Anyone else who is KU again or heading in that direction feeling conflicted like this? 

LadyXaverian

I read a blog about this exact topic today! It's a guest blog entry on my friend's family blog. I think both the blog and the comments will be helpful.

https://www.growingupgeeky.com/2012/06/you-want-two-children-guest-post.html

This one is amazing, too.

https://oursillyrodriguezfamily.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-mom-was-right.html

 

 

drpayne

SarahL77:

I read a blog about this exact topic today! It's a guest blog entry on my friend's family blog. I think both the blog and the comments will be helpful.

https://www.growingupgeeky.com/2012/06/you-want-two-children-guest-post.html

This one is amazing, too.

https://oursillyrodriguezfamily.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-mom-was-right.html

 

 

I needed this. Thanks  

RunningGal900

We are TTC and yes, I'm slightly terrified. I know we will ultimately be fine, but it's going to be hard, I think. But DH and I want three,and we have decided to "do,the baby thing" which might be hard for a few years, but then we will have kids close in age who will enjoy each other and we will get to do things as a family. I don't want to be having babies for the next 6 years. So yes, terrified, but I jut have to remember that people do it all the time and I will survive.

GHBEA

It became real when I held my NB niece.  She was born 3 weeks before the due date of our lost baby.  I told my DH I could not imagine having a LO and Olivia right now.  But I remembered I was pregnant and will be doing this in Nov.  We just have to make it work and it will.

Nicki Boston

I'm in denial. so far it's helping...

SandiaPinaMama

Thanks guys. I guess I just forgot what a rollercoaster TTC is. DH and I rehashed it this evening, and better or worse, this is our plan. I'm sure it will be fine. I am a great deal younger han my sibs, and I want different for my son.

biblionerd

You'll do just great! Gl! I am absolutely in love with how close Linus and Fiona are. We only ttc one cycle with her So I didn't really have time to freak out. After the bfp though I was TERRIFIED! Pretty much the whole pg I was scared honestly. The first month was brutal. I am in a groove now and do just fine alone with both of them. I'm actually enjoying our days now again and things have gotten much easier. It felt like it would be chaos forever but it's the happiest I've ever been. Being pg was much harder! It is just so great to have them so close in age. Cant wait for the third and final one. We also want to "do the baby thing" for a few years and get it done with. 

cynnnabun

My 2 girls are like 6 years apart. And now the younger 2 will be 18 months. So even though this is my 3rd baby, it feels brand new. I have no idea how to hang out with 2 babies at one time. And I'm freaking out.

But it'll be fine. Things usually end up fine in the end.

lylahlove

Our original plan was to start trying for #2 when Liam turned one. Then he turned one and things were way too easy - I was training for a half marathon, drinking wine every night, having great sex...life was good.  And we decided we'd put off trying for a while. 

Then I found out I was pregnant and I'll be honest, I wasn't too excited. I saw the second line, shrugged, and went to finish the dishes. I feel ridiculously guilty for this huge blessing that I feel I don't deserve because I was so looking forward to a carefree summer and it's not the "right timing". 

I am excited Liam will have a sibling close in age. I guess God just decided we needed to stick to our original plan. This second pregnancy is strange though - I'm not anxious in the least, which is nice. I guess down deep, since I feel so ungrateful, I'm trying not to get too attached because I feel like I don't deserve it. I realize none of this ramble is helpful to you - I don't have any advice because only you and your husband know when you're ready. I will say that if you feel like you need a few more months - take that time to enjoy what you have now. Best of luck with your decision

kje120

I'm in the same boat.  I'm excited about the prospect of a new baby, but also terrified about dealing with two.  I'm trying not to think about it too much since I have no idea how long it will take us to get a BFP, but I definitely freak out when I think about two little ones.  I just remind myself that people do it all the time so we'll be fine, right?  

AMB11

I would have to say that going from 1 - 2 children that are close in age (22 months) was a HUGE adjustment for our family and my DS#2 was/is an angel....ok, here come my calming words....but now? 14 months in?  It's generally a piece of cake.  You will find a new 'family rhythm' as I like to call it.  As long as both you and your partner are committed to your family and finding a balance you'll be fine.  It's overwhelming at first, but worth it in the end.  Good luck to you!

lylahlove

thepriceisright:

lylahlove:

Our original plan was to start trying for #2 when Liam turned one. Then he turned one and things were way too easy - I was training for a half marathon, drinking wine every night, having great sex...life was good.  And we decided we'd put off trying for a while. 

Then I found out I was pregnant and I'll be honest, I wasn't too excited. I saw the second line, shrugged, and went to finish the dishes. I feel ridiculously guilty for this huge blessing that I feel I don't deserve because I was so looking forward to a carefree summer and it's not the "right timing". 

I am excited Liam will have a sibling close in age. I guess God just decided we needed to stick to our original plan. This second pregnancy is strange though - I'm not anxious in the least, which is nice. I guess down deep, since I feel so ungrateful, I'm trying not to get too attached because I feel like I don't deserve it. I realize none of this ramble is helpful to you - I don't have any advice because only you and your husband know when you're ready. I will say that if you feel like you need a few more months - take that time to enjoy what you have now. Best of luck with your decision

 

You're pregnant?! I've been lurking on this board since I was pregnant with MY Liam, and you and I actually had the same due date and were both naming our babies Liam so I've been reading your blog for a while. Congrats on the pregnancy- I'm kind of in the same boat right now. I'm in the middle of the 2WW and I'm wondering do I really want to be pregnant right now? Like you said, things are working so well with just one LO. It's FUN. But then I think about how close my son will be to his sibling and it makes it worth it. My brother and I were 16 months apart and it was wonderful growing up with him.

Thanks That's too funny! Yea, I haven't come out anywhere but on the bump...we haven't even told our families. I hope you get the news you want  

mchupie

lylahlove:

Our original plan was to start trying for #2 when Liam turned one. Then he turned one and things were way too easy - I was training for a half marathon, drinking wine every night, having great sex...life was good.  And we decided we'd put off trying for a while. 

Then I found out I was pregnant and I'll be honest, I wasn't too excited. I saw the second line, shrugged, and went to finish the dishes. I feel ridiculously guilty for this huge blessing that I feel I don't deserve because I was so looking forward to a carefree summer and it's not the "right timing". 

I am excited Liam will have a sibling close in age. I guess God just decided we needed to stick to our original plan. This second pregnancy is strange though - I'm not anxious in the least, which is nice. I guess down deep, since I feel so ungrateful, I'm trying not to get too attached because I feel like I don't deserve it. I realize none of this ramble is helpful to you - I don't have any advice because only you and your husband know when you're ready. I will say that if you feel like you need a few more months - take that time to enjoy what you have now. Best of luck with your decision

::lurking::

Congratulations, love!!

And I felt the exact same way as you for a few months into this pregnancy. I think it's completely normal.

nettie27

If i could unload on you ladies:

I have different feelings about this pregnancy than i did in my two previous ones.  I think it has a lot to do on how i think our families will react and the fact that i found out VERY early on.  I think i am maybe 4 weeks right now.  

My SIL just had a baby and my sister is due next month.  We just have a lot of baby stuff going on in both our families and it just seems like everyone is going to be disappointed.  My mom has been honest with me and said that i should really consider about having another child and if i do then i should wait until Julianna is at least 4 years old.  I didn't take this advise harshly.  I appreciated her advise she does have 5 children!  She also sees how i can struggle when my DH is working a double.  It can get chaotic but we manage.  And his mom is our primary daycare when DH isn't on shift AND she is also my SILs.  So this means my MIL is going to be watching my SILs two kids (One is 8 and the other is 3 weeks as of now) and my 3 kids (soon to be 3 yr old and 1 yr old and number 3) so i feel terrible.  We have mentioned to MIL that we are willing to look for other daycare but she refuses!  She would be insulted.  So i just feel like i am putting a lot of pressure on our families.  

 Plus, our original plan was to wait until Julianna turns two to start trying again.  I have been taking birth control but not at the same time everyday, sometimes i would forget.  But we would use condoms as a back up.  Well this past month we didn't.  And i feel like i kinda tricked DH into having another right now.  He was fully aware that i wasn't taking my BC correctly and we both made the decision not to use condoms, so i guess in a sense we were TTC.  I had extreme baby fever and kept telling him that i wanted another one.  He said he wouldn't mind either way. But i still feel bad.

ALSO, i have been taking a vitamin that contains a TON of Green Tea extract for energy, well i just read in the pregnancy book that you shouldn't take or drink Green Tea during or before pregnancy because you have like a 35% increase of the baby having spina bifida.  I thought Green tea was only unsafe during pregnancy i had no idea about beforehand.  So now i am irrationally planning for a baby with spina bifida and we are moving into a two story house in a month with no bedrooms on the first floor. I'm irrational i know.  But this is my brain right now. 

SandiaPinaMama

nettie27:

If i could unload on you ladies:

I have different feelings about this pregnancy than i did in my two previous ones.  I think it has a lot to do on how i think our families will react and the fact that i found out VERY early on.  I think i am maybe 4 weeks right now.  

My SIL just had a baby and my sister is due next month.  We just have a lot of baby stuff going on in both our families and it just seems like everyone is going to be disappointed.  My mom has been honest with me and said that i should really consider about having another child and if i do then i should wait until Julianna is at least 4 years old.  I didn't take this advise harshly.  I appreciated her advise she does have 5 children!  She also sees how i can struggle when my DH is working a double.  It can get chaotic but we manage.  And his mom is our primary daycare when DH isn't on shift AND she is also my SILs.  So this means my MIL is going to be watching my SILs two kids (One is 8 and the other is 3 weeks as of now) and my 3 kids (soon to be 3 yr old and 1 yr old and number 3) so i feel terrible.  We have mentioned to MIL that we are willing to look for other daycare but she refuses!  She would be insulted.  So i just feel like i am putting a lot of pressure on our families.  

 Plus, our original plan was to wait until Julianna turns two to start trying again.  I have been taking birth control but not at the same time everyday, sometimes i would forget.  But we would use condoms as a back up.  Well this past month we didn't.  And i feel like i kinda tricked DH into having another right now.  He was fully aware that i wasn't taking my BC correctly and we both made the decision not to use condoms, so i guess in a sense we were TTC.  I had extreme baby fever and kept telling him that i wanted another one.  He said he wouldn't mind either way. But i still feel bad.

ALSO, i have been taking a vitamin that contains a TON of Green Tea extract for energy, well i just read in the pregnancy book that you shouldn't take or drink Green Tea during or before pregnancy because you have like a 35% increase of the baby having spina bifida.  I thought Green tea was only unsafe during pregnancy i had no idea about beforehand.  So now i am irrationally planning for a baby with spina bifida and we are moving into a two story house in a month with no bedrooms on the first floor. I'm irrational i know.  But this is my brain right now. 

 

Hugs to you my dear!  I don't think that you should feel guilty about a baby's life.  If YH didn't want a baby, he would have prevented one.  Embrace this LO. 

As far as your family goes, if your MIL didn't want the pressure, she shouldn't insist on watching your children.  

It sounds like everyone in this situation is exactly where they want to be.  Please give yourself permission to be happy.  I'm happy for you!

shaindelr

I'm so sorry you're freaking out. Just know that freaking out is a healthy form of processing

And, also, Buddhism for Mothers  = highly recommended. Hugs to you!