Help ease my mind - attachment related

ashleybritton

I can't shake this fear that Owen won't attach to me. I'm afraid that because he had such a rough start in life, and still has regular follow-up care (heel pricks and regular dr visits), that he's going to associate me with pain and not trust me. Can anyone assure me that everything will be okay. Rationally I know it should be, but I just can't shake this fear.

ashleybritton

And clearly I need to change my soggy. He was born at 34 weeks and 4 days.

kamcfarlane

i haven't been around a lot lately, but i wanted to assure you that he will attach to you just fine! my DS is 3.5 and i worried about the same things. he is very attached to me and we are extremely close. he also has a bit of an independent side that his FT sister doesn't have - sometimes i wonder if his beginning helped develop that a bit earlier.

kaylaaimee

I worried about the same thing but if anything Scarlette is EXTRA attached to me

kck329

He won't associate you with pain. You are the person who comforts him after anything painful happens, plays with him, rocks him to sleep, feeds him, and snuggles him as much as you can. I had that fear too but like Kaylaaimee said...she is extra attached (as in hanging on my legs as I write this).

 

Focus on the fact that you are the one who eases his pain and protects him, he knows that.

Mrs. Alice

I agree with the others, don't worry.  He will not remember any of this nor associate you with pain.  It's so hard to see your LO in pain from things like heel sticks and shots, but it probably bothers us more than it does them!

kaylaaimee

p.s. now people in scrubs? He might associate them with pain We get on the elevator at the dr. and Scarlette talks happily to EVERYONE and then a nurse in scrubs gets on and she FREAKS THE HECK OUT. So no worries, they know the difference between the person causing the pain and the person they want to cuddle with after

JnS2011

My son was born at the same age, and has had many painful things done to him in his short little life. I was afraid of the same thing because with my husband working so much, I was responsible for taking him to all his appointments. We also had a scary ER trip/hospital stay back in March and I actually had to help hold him down for the nurse to get a IV catheter in, a urinary catheter in, and was in the room while they did a spinal tap. It almost killed me, but I know that though it might not have seemed like it at the time, he needed me there. He loves me more than anyone I suspect