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Blended Families
Krisx2
member
The good, bad, and ugly.
Krisx2
member
The bad: DH's lawyer filed for emergency parenting time 4 weeks ago (there is a court order preventing DH from having summer parenting time till a new CO is agreed upon, no new mediation date). Apparently we are waiting for BM's lawyer and the judge to sign something. DH's lawyer has IN WRITING that BM and her lawyer are planning to stall all summer so DH will get NO summer parenting time. All the papers have been filed. There is nothing to do now but sit and count the days away. DH was supposed to begin summer parenting time today.
The ugly: DD has begun crying for SD and throwing tantrums. My DH has cried a few times and in frustration told me he is almost at his breaking point and would give up relations with SD to preserve his family here. I know he didn't mean it, but it was really hard for me to see him to get that upset.
The good: We might start family therapy soon. All this anxiety and hurt is making our household toxic. We are on edge and any attempt to have "good times" just ends up in tears and sullenness. I am also starting an antidepressant today. I hope there are better days ahead.
Please, any prayers would be appreciated. It's so hard to just sit and wait.
Mio Marito per Sempre: Married 2009. SD is 12 yrs. DD is 4 yrs.
DS born 12/29/14
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The good, bad, and ugly.
Oh goodness. Sounds like a storm coming.
All the thoughts and prayers out to you guys.
I am sorry you all are going through that. What a terrible mess. I don't know the distance between you and your SD, but no matter what I would not keep my son from his dad. Do you live far away? Don't ever give up on your SD. I hope you can see her soon.
I know this is hard. We've been through this exact thing, maybe worse. I have yet to share my story here but I will tell you this much...Our BM kept SD away for 18 months. She called the police and said DH molested her (she was 3 at the time). We had to go to court, DH took a polygraph, we had home visits with a GAL etc.
I won't go through the whole back story because that won't help you any. DH cried routinely not having her in his life. BM did her damndest to brainwash her. So much so that when we finally were granted visitation, SD didn't know who he was.
Despite all of this (and there's tons more), SD has been resilient. She loves her daddy without fail. She is growing into a beautiful young lady, she's 8 now. If your husband doesn't get visitation this summer, know that SD will likely be fine. You guys have the rest of your lives to love her and make memories. I'll keep you guys in our prayers but am certain everything will be just fine. Good luck dear.
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What I don't understand (and I'm sure you're asking yourself WTF is happening too), is if DH has it in writing that she's going to stall on purpose why can't they do anything?????
My heart is hurting for you and your family. T & P definitely being sent your way.
(Can I just add that antidepressants are a good thing. It's not a weakness to admit that you need help feeling better. I told DH last weekend that I can't wait for this baby to come b/c then I'll be able to take them again)
That sound incredibly stressful. T&Ps for you guys.
Can I ask why there is a CO preventing your DH from having parenting time?
If it is an actual CO, signed by a judge, then something happened right?
I don't want to explain the whole situation over again, so here is the simple version. DH filed a year ago to have the custody order modified. There has been one mediation and it failed. The judge signed the court order that was filed by BM's lawyer to prevent summer parenting time till an agreement on the modification was reached. It was an attempt to force DH and BM to mediate. However, the court canceled two hearings and the next available isn't till September.
DH and his lawyer didn't know about the court order till May (it was signed in March) due to a clerk error. DH's lawyer filed for emergency parenting time. But until the judge signs something or BM and her lawyer agree to mediation, then DH is screwed out of summer parenting time. DH's lawyer has an email stating that BM's lawyer plans to stall the process as long as possible. I know DH's lawyer is planning on sharing this info with the judge. But everything moves so slowly....
Mio Marito per Sempre: Married 2009. SD is 12 yrs. DD is 4 yrs.
DS born 12/29/14
Whoa. Is BM's attorney a first year associate?! I cannot believe how ignorant and irresponsible that attorney is to put that in writing. That's something you say in a phonecall so that it can't be proven later. Judges do not like when parents and attorneys use the child as a bargaining chip. The stalling is one thing that they'll have to answer for, but to flat out admit that they're deliberately stalling is a whole other problem. That's actually grounds for a change of custody in some States, and reprimand from the State Bar Association for the attorney.
Again, thoughts and prayers and positive energy to you and your family. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but things will eventually work out for your husband and that poor little girl.
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