:[ Vent

JayandEmm

My best friend from HS comes into town every 3 months to see her family (She lives across state), and we always make it a point to hang out, but every since I told her about the pregnancy she's completely ditched/avoided me. She told a few weeks ago she will be in town this past weekend, and that we should have lunch and catch up. I was actually really excited thinking that she was coming around to the pregnancy. She texted me friday and told me she had plans with her family and that we should have lunch on Monday (today). So I texted her this morning and asked if she still wanted to do lunch and she gave an excuse that she slept in too late and she needed to make the drive home before it got too hot outside (?).

This isnt the first time she's avoided me. When I got married it took her months to come around to the idea. She has a completely different lifestyle than I do, she's still in the "party animal" phase, and whenever we hang out it's usually at a bar. That's cool when I wasnt pregnant, but I obviously cant do that now.

I guess Im feeling butt hurt because I'll probably never hang out with her again. I'd like to believe she'll include me in her plans again after I pop out this baby, but probably not. :[

Crossingfingers

That stinks! I've got a friend that I really miss, but she's still in the "party animal" phase too.. and she's got TWO KIDS of her own! I'm not a prude by any means, but sometimes the choices we make for ourselves are too different to stay as close..

JayandEmm

Crossingfingers:

That stinks! I've got a friend that I really miss, but she's still in the "party animal" phase too.. and she's got TWO KIDS of her own! I'm not a prude by any means, but sometimes the choices we make for ourselves are too different to stay as close..

I knowwww. :[

 I think I need to get over it (and her) and accept that we're so different now. It's just hard because we were so close for so long.

poppyseed1017

This sucks.  I'm sorry   Especially because it's not like you did something wrong.

My bff was like this for a while after I told her I was pregnant.  We're better now and she's throwing a shower for me and seems excited, but I just have a feeling that our relationship will never be the same.

Mrs. Rohde

I have found that it is really hard to maintain friendships as you grow up because everyone always makes different choices. Someone outgrows the "party phase" while the other doesn't. Someone gets married and the other is still single. Someone has a baby or more and the other is not there yet. You guys are at completely different points in your life. It's a shame she's not wanting to try to hang out but she probably feels you two have nothing in common anymore.

MommyMelRN

I haven't ever had this problem myself, but I had two close friends that sort of had this problem with each other.  S got married straight out of college and a year later had a "surprise" pregnancy.  B wasn't at that point in her life yet, and although they would sill chat every once in a while, B really felt like she couldn't relate to S at all.  Now that B is at that point in her life (years later mind you) she is tuning to S for friendship and support.  S on the other hand has two kids in school and loves to party a little more now that her kiddos are a little more independent...lol!  

I just wanted to share to give you some hope.  Friendships grow and evolve.  It's ok to be sad that you aren't as close anymore, but that doesn't mean you aren't friends.  If you keep the door open, when your friends life "catches up" to yours, you might have a chance at a different kind of friendship.

 I also want to point out, because once upon a time I was that girl, that some girls get very jealous of their friends and their happiness, and keeping up those friendships can be extremely challenging.  I was the last of all of my closest friends to get married (seriously, I was starting to believe the whole always a bridesmaid, never a bride thing) and I'm one of the last to have a child.  Those are two things I have wanted my entire life, and as selfish and awful as it is, I was so jealous of my friends I couldn't see straight.  It is embarrassing to feel that way and the way it causes you to act sometimes...especially if you like to party (like I did at the time).  Luckily I have very strong and forgiving friends!  My guess is that this situation has more to do with how she feels about herself than how she feels about you and your friendship.