An update turned vent

The Housewife

I posted last week about having concerns about DS and got a referral to a devolmental pedi and with the advice from here wanted to have him reevaluated with ChildFind (he recieves 30 of ST 2x/week right now

We had an IEP meeting this morning. It was myself, DH, our childfind  coordinator, speech therapist, and assistant principal. I felt like all my concerns were completely brushed off. 

I would bring up how we can't go to crowded places because DS melts down. They would say "he comes into school fine, and that can be intimidating for a young child"

I would tell them how everything is too bright or too loud for him, and they would reply with "he's never had these problems during speech, and your speech therapist is trained to see red flags and report them. We only saw him get scared with the fire drill last week and that scares lots of kids."

I'm not questioning his ST qualifications to pick up on things. But I also don't think that the hour a week he spends with him is enough to see what I see. He doesn't see the struggle it is to get him dressed, and know what he wants to eat, and wait outside the grocery store for it to open so that we are the only ones in the there.

They would remark how he was doing great during the meeting and playing with the toys I packed. I just wanted to scream "I've been telling him about this meeting for 4 days now. We spent the weekend picking out toys he could bring. I've spent 2 years learning what goes and doesn't go with this kid, so yes, he's sitting nicely here, but had this been impromptu you would see the other side of him. I don't like to see

my kid upset, he's sitting here because it's second nature for me to prepare both of us for every.single. part of our day to avoid meltdowns."

The meeting ended with, we'll meet again after the developmental pedi sees him. What a big waste of time! I'm on a 2 1/2 month waitlist before UVA even calls to set the appointment. The ONLY thing I walked away with was some advice from the ChildFind coordinator she gave after the meeting on using headphones/iPod with music he likes and going for private OT. 

 

Im really frustrated.  

Justinlove

The Housewife:

I would bring up how we can't go to crowded places because DS melts down. They would say "he comes into school fine, and that can be intimidating for a young child"

I would tell them how everything is too bright or too loud for him, and they would reply with "he's never had these problems during speech, and your speech therapist is trained to see red flags and report them. We only saw him get scared with the fire drill last week and that scares lots of kids."

I think part of the issue is understanding the purpose of school-based therapy.  Therapy in school is intended to help your child be able to access the curriculum.  If he is not having issues with noises, groups at school, then it doesn't surprise me that they are not offering therapy to address those concerns. 

The Housewife:

I'm not questioning his ST qualifications to pick up on things. But I also don't think that the hour a week he spends with him is enough to see what I see. He doesn't see the struggle it is to get him dressed, and know what he wants to eat, and wait outside the grocery store for it to open so that we are the only ones in the there.

 

Again, those are not issues they are seeing at school.  I understand they are legit concerns, but perhaps they are better addressed through private therapy.

The Housewife:

They would remark how he was doing great during the meeting and playing with the toys I packed. I just wanted to scream "I've been telling him about this meeting for 4 days now. We spent the weekend picking out toys he could bring. I've spent 2 years learning what goes and doesn't go with this kid, so yes, he's sitting nicely here, but had this been impromptu you would see the other side of him. I don't like to see

my kid upset, he's sitting here because it's second nature for me to prepare both of us for every.single. part of our day to avoid meltdowns."

 

As a parent, this would kill me to do, but perhaps you need to stop prepping him before these meetings so a more natural reaction can be observed (by both you and the therapists). 

I am sorry it wasn't what you had expected.  Hopefully the dev.ped will be more helpful for you.

The Housewife

I understand that because he's not having these issues during the ST that it's not interferring with his learning. I guess I am confused because I thought the whole reason for the pre-school aged services was so that they would adjust better to school. I know I don't have a crystal ball, and he still has a couple years, but if he can't walk into a family gathering because of all the kids and noise, I'm really scared for kindergarten. I'm more bothered by feeling brushed off then I am about not having them jump at more testing.  

bumpuser511563

I kind of felt like you with my DS. DS was in school for 2 1/2 hours 4 days a week and I tried to get him OT evaluated for three months because of what he was doing at daycare. They did not see anything unusual at school.

DS spends more time in daycare so I ended up getting outside private services for him.