2nd time momma, still scared of birth

guineas12

Hi everyone! Let me start by saying my husband and I are TTC baby #2. I had a really scary birth with our first that ended in a c-section.

 

My question is... if you are fearful of birth or had a bad experience, now that you are pregnant has the fear gotten better or worse?

 

Thanks!! 

jno712

Oh my goodness, I was right there with you!  I had a super-traumatic birth experience with my son that ended in c-section, too.  We were actually in the adoption process when I got pregnant because that was how much I didn't want to give birth to a second baby!  (I had wanted to adopt for years, though, long before I even met my husband.)  

Anyway, now that I actually am super-unexpectedly pregnant, I can honestly tell you that my fear has gotten better!  I don't let myself think about it too much yet, since it's still so many months away, but keep telling myself that this time I know what to except.  Last time was terrifying and I knew nothing about c-sections since my doctor had told me for weeks that my birth would easy-breezy.  Now I have knowledge, and information, and the facts about what will happen to me.  Plus, since I will most likely have a repeat c/s, it will be a much calmer, saner process - not an all-out freak out emergency thing.  

 Hope that helps!  

AFBTB

*lurking

Not pregnant yet but I wanted to put in my 2 cents. I had a rough birth with my first DS too. He was born not breathing and not moving. I am completely petrified for when I am pregnant with #2, and I don't think the fear will go away until baby #2 is safely out. But that's pretty normal even for women who haven't been through a rough birth. There's always going to be a certain amount of fear for your baby throughout your pregnancy.

stewz

I had a very similar situation. Long labor that ended in a c/s. Yes, I'm still scared but this time it will be a planned c/s and I know it will be different but I'm still nervous. 

Optimus+Prime

I was also scared the first time and ended up with a c-section. It was actually scheduled due to him being in a breech position, so I did have a few weeks to prapare and mourn my natural birth. I'm still on the fence about vbacs, and I don't even know if my doctor/hospital will do them.

Right now I'm trying not to focus on the birth since it's so far away. I'm trying to focus on staying calm and healthy so my little bundle of cells will develop into a baby. I can't deny that I am paranoid though!

northshore25

I am right there with you. I had a very tramatic birth with DS and he didn't breathe for a minute or so. And due to his size, 9 lbs, I had to be cut all the way down to my butt. I had no idea something could hurt so badly. When I found out I was pregnant this time my mind immediately went back to the pain. I know that I will do anything to get my perfect baby again but mother of god that was brutal. I am trying to block out the fear:-)!!

anneimal98

I wouldn't say I'm excited about it but I'm not exactly fearful. My first was not awesome (epi had to be re-placed because I had a window where it wasn't working, I needed adrenaline and oxygen, baby was having decels, vacuum delivery, 3rd degree tear, short NICU stay for breathing problems) but in the end we came out alright. It just took a little longer. And the medical staff were great. Obviously, I'd like it to go better this time but L&D inherently involves the unexpected/uncontrollable.  My theory is the more you "go with the flow" the less anxious you'll be when things don't go according to "plan."

akating

I am still worried but I think I am feeling better about it.

znianiswan

Oh my goodness, I was right there with you!

 

 

 

JennV514

I think it's worse, now that I know what to expect.

mom2b22013

I was induced with DS and I am nervous of having labor start on it's own. DS also had a knot in his cord and for a while after his birth I was doing a lot of what if, now that #2 is on the way I am very nervous thinking about another knot but am trying not to worry because it did turn out fine with DS. I am going to bring up my fears with my DR and hope he can help. Just remember to stay off google

Raspberry807

I didn't have an easy 1st labor and delivery, so I was pretty nervous doing it the 2nd time.  But it ended up being a breeze, completely different than the first, and if all L&Ds were like my second, I'd have 10 more babies no doubt in my mind.

Every L&D can be different so don't freak yourself out too much waiting for it to be horrible.  GL!

guineas12

Raspberry807:

I didn't have an easy 1st labor and delivery, so I was pretty nervous doing it the 2nd time.  But it ended up being a breeze, completely different than the first, and if all L&Ds were like my second, I'd have 10 more babies no doubt in my mind.

Every L&D can be different so don't freak yourself out too much waiting for it to be horrible.  GL!

 

Great to hear! Thanks! 

guineas12

jno712:

Oh my goodness, I was right there with you!  I had a super-traumatic birth experience with my son that ended in c-section, too.  We were actually in the adoption process when I got pregnant because that was how much I didn't want to give birth to a second baby!  (I had wanted to adopt for years, though, long before I even met my husband.)  

Anyway, now that I actually am super-unexpectedly pregnant, I can honestly tell you that my fear has gotten better!  I don't let myself think about it too much yet, since it's still so many months away, but keep telling myself that this time I know what to except.  Last time was terrifying and I knew nothing about c-sections since my doctor had told me for weeks that my birth would easy-breezy.  Now I have knowledge, and information, and the facts about what will happen to me.  Plus, since I will most likely have a repeat c/s, it will be a much calmer, saner process - not an all-out freak out emergency thing.  

 Hope that helps!  

 

We were headed down the path to foster. We were taking the licensing classes and everything. Then, I decided I should give this another chance. Second time around will be easier right? Haha. Fingers crossed! 

Ivana_Stolichnaya

Baby #1 - 2.5 hours of pushing, vacuum and tearing...painful recovery.  Baby was 7 lbs 4oz

 Baby #2 - 13 minutes of pushing, no tearing, easy recovery. Baby was 7lbs 10oz

 

I spent 9 months freaking the eff out over going through labor again.  It was over before I knew it.  I pushed through only 6 contractions with #2 and he pretty much fell out of me.  "every birth is different".  Yeah I get that but there was quite a difference between the two.