A Giant Step

fluttergirlmoonchild79

I'm still surprised at myself by what I did this weekend.  We got together with our neighbors who's baby has been in the NICU for 19 weeks.  We went to lunch and then our husbands went to see a movie.  The wife and myself went to the cemetery to visit Corbin and then we went to the hospital to visit her son.  I held him!  Twice!  I still can't believe I had the strength to do it.  I sobbed both times as it was an odd flood of different emotions.  It felt great to hold a baby but reminded me of holding Corbin and then I remembered the last time I held Corbin after he was gone.  I was happy their little one has made it as he's faced a difficult journey to get here but it made me miss my Corbin that much more.  At one point, he was sleeping on my chest and he had his hand on my pendant with Corbin's hand print and foot print on it.  That made me cry too because it was so sweet.  We always said the 2 of them were going to be best friends.  I still can't believe I held him and that I survived.  My neighbor was very understanding of my tears and even the nurse on duty (who we had when we were there), consoled me, hugged me, talked to me and helped me.  It was a difficult and beautiful experience all at the same time.  Just wanted to share.

Heatherhah

I'm so happy that you had such a sweet experience. I'm sure Corbin was there with you all day surrounding you with his love and giving you your strength!!! Huge hugs!!! 

tuscanbride2007

I am so happy that you experience turned out to be better than expected and that you had understanding people surrounding you.

Hugs to you!

jbranden12

Wow, that is amazing! I'm glad you had a good experience. I'm not sure I'll be able to hold another baby until I have one of my own.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

jbranden12:

Wow, that is amazing! I'm glad you had a good experience. I'm not sure I'll be able to hold another baby until I have one of my own.

My DH said the same thing and I completely understand and think that's completely fine.  I knew that if I did ever hold a child that wasn't mine, it had to be our neighbor's.  They've been so supportive of us through our journey and I talked to Corbin and he told me it was ok because as he tells me often "he's only my best friend on earth!"

Carolee

That is a huge step!  I'm sure it was very difficult, but you should be so proud of yourself!  Big (((HUGS))).

JessicaRobb

That IS a giant step. Good for you. It was nice for your neighbor to visit Corbin's grave too. I'm glad the experience went better than you had expected

medblais

That is a huge step! It sounds like your neighbor is an awesome friend, to acknowledge Corbin and visit him with you, while battling her own grief with her little one in the NICU. I'm happy the people around you were so supportive of your emotional experience. You should be proud of yourself!

nuttycoconut

What an amazingly sweet day. I really loved reading about your experience, especially when the baby grabbed your pendant. You are a great friend!

weddedwife

Very proud of you! I think it's amazing that you have such wonderful friends in your life.

StephK86

Congrats that is a huge step. What an emotional day it must have been. I cried just reading how brave you were. I know Corbin was there to give you strength.

samakasrc

This sounds like an amazing day.  And it sounds like you did wonderful with their son!