Multicultural Party WWYD

DreamChaser246

I'm just thinking... Which always gets me into trouble. The whole language thing has been a huge issue with my IL's side of the family. They speak English, but when my MIL's parents get involved, they speak in Ukrainian the entire time. Its done in a rude way, ongoing issue, and due to lots of things (including their ongoing rudeness) I no longer have an interest in learning the language. As a result of this, and DH in on board, whenever anyone tries to talk to DS in Ukrainian, we correct them. Well, they have a tradition of singing a Ukrainian version of happy birthday after the usual happy birthday. I've come up with two ideas. First, keep it to English for DS's birthday (not sure how we would do this). The other is to have a paper, or something with the words on it, so that the non-ukrainian folks (my entire side of the family, vs dh's) will feel like they can participate, instead of standing there feeling left out. Dh is totally against this second option, but I'm so tired of feeling left our this way. Am I crazy? How would you feel as a guest, which would be less awkward? Its a sore spot with me with his family, real sore.

ishka338

MH's family speaks mostly Spanish and our parties are always split 50/50.  They sing a song in Spanish during the pi?ata and I just let them.  I've learned that I am the only one who stresses out about these things and it's just not worth ruining my little guy's big day.  They aren't around much, so one day isn't a big deal to me.  I'd say let them and just enjoy your LO and forget about the few minutes the song will take.  GL...I know how frustrating a language barrier can be.

Birdies08

Why is YH against option 2? I'm Jewish, and sometimes my family gatherings include Hebrew. We almost always provide a transliteration so people like MH can sing/read along, if they so choose. I think that's a great option.

Birdies08

ishka338:

MH's family speaks mostly Spanish and our parties are always split 50/50.  They sing a song in Spanish during the pi?ata and I just let them.  I've learned that I am the only one who stresses out about these things and it's just not worth ruining my little guy's big day.  They aren't around much, so one day isn't a big deal to me.  I'd say let them and just enjoy your LO and forget about the few minutes the song will take.  GL...I know how frustrating a language barrier can be.

Dale dale dale!!!

Ok, sorry, a language sounds frustrating. I just like that song  

DreamChaser246

Birdies08:

Why is YH against option 2? I'm Jewish, and sometimes my family gatherings include Hebrew. We almost always provide a transliteration so people like MH can sing/read along, if they so choose. I think that's a great option.

Honestly, I'm not sure. I ask and he just gets upset, not wanting to talk about it. I wish I knew.

ladybug122

My SO and his family all speak spanish so I am familiar with the language barrier issues. I hate feeling left out when everyone is speaking spanish to each other, especially when I know that they all speak english too but won't bother to include me. I'm sorry your family is putting you in a tough position. I think option #2 sounds good, that way his family get to honor their tradition without making others, like yourself, feel left out. Hope your DH gets on board with it!

JuneBugsMommy

Your DS is part Ukranian so I think it's only fair to let DH's family sign the song in Ukranian. However, I like the idea of having the words printed out for your family and other guests that won't know the words so they don't feel left out. It'll be up to them if they want to join in or not but at least you're giving them the option.

SpceCadet

Birdies08:

Why is YH against option 2? I'm Jewish, and sometimes my family gatherings include Hebrew. We almost always provide a transliteration so people like MH can sing/read along, if they so choose. I think that's a great option.

This except it's DH's family.  I think singing the "happy birthday" song, for me anyway, is different than full conversation. 

At all of the family holidays MIL hands out a sheet with phonetic pronunciations and it helps me feel less out of the loop language wise.   

DramaMama06

hmmm strange that DH is having an issue with it. i think it's ar eally cool idea! if i was a guest i would think it's a nice little touch and i do think you should let them sing it less for him and more for LO