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Pregnant after 35
cranky vent
Maybe it's because the hot weather has arrived and we don't have a/c. Maybe it's because I'm getting soooo close to EDD and still have no real shower plans - or just maybe it's because my dumb sister moved back to CA with her dumb husband and took my gorgeous 20-month old nephew with her and I miss him! Plus her dumb butt did not throw me a shower before she left although I busted my bum to throw her the perfect shower that she wanted before my nephew was born. Oh or, maybe it's because during the hubbub of her move, she threw a bunch of crap into several boxes and gave them to me as "things I will need" ... well apparently "things I will need" = old stained baby clothes, and random toys/odd and often unidetifiable items that she didn't feel like packing, so she left them for me to sort through and chuck if I don't want them!
Anyway, the one thing I actually ASKED her to leave behind, she wouldn't. She has the galaxy grey ergobaby carrier. I registered for it, but it's an expensive item and if I can borrow hers instead, that is better. Like I said, my nephew is 20 months old and he is a BIG boy... he's already well over 30 lbs. She NEVER uses that thing but she said she couldn't leave it behind for me because she might need it. Are you kidding me??? In 20 months, I have seen her use that thing less than 10 times. And up until 2 weeks ago, I saw her almost every day.
This would not bug me except that I really don't think that I will have a shower ... my mom wants to throw one, but I don't know many people up here. We live in a small town where we've been living for only 3 years. Most of the people I know are my mom's friends, and they are lovely, but I don't want to have a shower and ask them for gifts ...they're her friends, not mine. I have no idea what all my girlfriends are doing, but I have been stalking my registry lately and they are definitely not shopping for me! I feel like they're waiting for an invitation but they all live either a plane ride or a minimum 5-hour drive away, so even if I invite them, they're not likely to show up. I'm ok with buying all of our own stuff for baby, and I'm TRYING to harness my buying energy so that I leave stuff on the registry just in case everyone is going to make late purchases. But the baby carrier thing ... just irked me.
Vent over, I think. Sorry. That has just been bugging me lately and I don't want to unleash it on my mom or any of my friends because I don't want to guilt anyone into shopping!
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Re: cranky vent
I just want to say, I hear you. I can sort of see your sister being too stressed with moving to deal with throwing a shower, but the rest -- the box of old crap and the ergo baby thing -- just sucks. If I were you, I would let your mom throw you the shower. I know it might feel weird having her friends get you gifts, but you deserve some attention, and people really do like buying baby stuff.
That said, I'm in my own weird mood about my shower. I didn't want to have one, but some friends insisted, so ok, I made a big guest list and created a registry. The invites were sent out as Evites and half the folks don't even seem to have opened the email, and the RSVP date was yesterday; so I'm paranoid that maybe for some people it went to spam. I've mentioned this to my hosts but I don't know if they will do anything about it. Meanwhile, only 3 people -- none of whom can come to the shower -- have bought anything on the registry, and the shower is in two weeks. I'm fine if we have to get it all ourselves since that was my first plan, but I hate the feeling of having been put in the position of opening myself up to people not responding and not getting gifts -- feels worse than no shower at all!
Sorry, guess I'm using your post as an excuse to vent myself! Let your mom have the shower, apologize to your far away friends, and I bet they'll still love getting you gifts too.
Oh dear... I'm so sorry you have to worry about all this.
I know you don't know your mom's friends well, but if your Mom wantsto invite them, let them come. My shower for mu first consisted of a LOT of SIL's friends, DH's friends wives, and boss(and their friends!)... a LOT of peple I didn't know, but we got so much fantastic suff, and I can't even imagine having to buy all of it. If they don't WANT to go or buy a gift, trust me, they won't, and since you didn't personally invite them, you don't have to feel as though you were asking them.
thank you guys for listening and not being judgy!!
Wishful thinking, but I know my sister and she is NOT going to surprise me with it. She bought the baby bullet and then told me to take it off my registry. I'm very thankful that she did that, but still resentful because I really busted my butt for her shower and all she is doing is leaving behind a gift.
I asked my mom to call it an "advice shower" where all the ladies bring me a piece of golden parenting advice because they all have kids and grandkids. If they bring something more, that would be lovely of them. The one friend I have in town I think I will not invite - she is struggling with inftertility and just had a 4th unsuccessful IVF, and she goes out of her way to avoid me so I think inviting her would just upset her more.
Oh Adi I just realized why the name of the town where she moved to sounds so familiar - it is where you live! And I think she's planning to join the Mommy & Me group out there. So if you are part of that and notice a new member, it's probably my sister!