SS and new baby I'm nervous

nurrieum

So I've been lurking all day because I just found this board and it's been incredibly helpful so thanks ladies.

In an earlier post I talked a bit about my DH's  BM (which in my head I actually refer to as bowel movement because she is in fact a piece of s#$*), so basically we have my SS the majority of the time. I've grown a really strong bond with SS one that's actually surprised me. Much to the chagrin of my DH when I think he's being to tough of my baby (SS is 3 and has me wrapped around his finger- though I'm aware of it so he's not too spoiled).

Slowly but surely we're trying to help him understand that soon there will be a new member of our house. He knows there's a baby inside my belly- when I have BH's he always asks "baby kickin?" My sister recently had a baby who's now 4 months and my SS has spent time around my niece and has "helped" with the baby. We work on explaining that soon we will have a baby like that at our house soon.

My SS has been through a lot in his short life, it's finally starting to become really stable because he's with us and he's so happy. I'm feeling paranoid that he'll feel replaced- which means because I'm me I'll be hyper aware of trying to counter that- which leads to me being worried I'll be giving into all the whims of 3 year old because of misplaced guilt. I'm over-analyzing it I'm sure and I'm hoping that because we want to include him in "helping" as much as possible and making sure he still gets his time with just the 3 of us that we'll find balance. It's still something that worries me.

ps- I'm under a bit of stress, we live with my unfortunately crazy grandmother in law and are in the middle of moving (oh year moving whilst 36 weeks pregnant), plus typical in law issues of different people trying to blend. My DH moved in with her long before we got together to help care for her because family couldn't afford a nursing home and she didn't need one at the time. That's since changed. My husband's a great man- but it's down to wire now and I'm stressed about moving and baby and things being up in the air. Sorry I just had to get that out- this pregnancy has been a s%&#-storm.

So to make my long-winded point- how have other step-mom's balanced so skids don't feel replaced?

dory1960

1) Relax

2) Relax

3) Relax

 

Kaeldrasmommy

dory1960:

1) Relax

2) Relax

3) Relax

 

Yep! It sounds like you are wonderful for your SS, so just try not to worry. 

MarSamWhitney

Just continue to make SS feel special in his own way.

nurrieum

MelRC117:

Skids or biological I think everyone is concerned about young kids reacting to a new baby. We just moved too and SS was pretty excited to move into a house and to have a little brother. I know when LO comes around DH specifically will need to have just time with him and SS. BM has a daughter Whois now 2 and SS was basically thrown aside. He didn't even get a birthday gift last year but of course her daughter got a full blown party and she's 2. He's also been through a lot (he's 10 and DH had him at 17) they still need boundaries. It will work out in the end. It's a lot all at one time that you are going through.  

Wow that has to be so hard for your SS. I'm so sorry. 

 

Thanks everyone for the advice- I'm trying to relax- though I'm not the best at it.