Help after C-Section

carrotsoup70

After my first csection I remember life being generally miserable for what seemed a long time. The only thing I remember distinctly is that my husband and I went out to dinner at 5 weeks post csection.Because of my history, I will be having a repeat csection with this baby. Here's my plan: My parents will come help for the first week and my husband will be home from work for the next week. For week 3 I have asked my niece (20 years old) to come help. She is very excited but wants to bring her boyfriend. I have never met him (and neither has anyone else in our family) but she really wants me to meet him. My first instinct was that I definitely didn't want a "guest" while feeling crappy but by week 3, do you think I will feel good enough to have someone I don't know staying with us for a few days?

 Update: All "helpers" except for DH will be from out of state. I don't have any family or close friends here.

RoxBride

I probably had an easier recovery than you did, as I was out and about within a week, so take this with a grain of salt.

I wouldn't have help that included a stranger in my home at 3 weeks. If you find you can't cope or manage, then you can always reach out then.

stemms8810

My 2nd c-section was so much easier than my first.  I was feeling great by week 3and that could be the same for you.  I wouldn't want a guest I didn't know though staying with me.  You may not need the help that week anyway (for yourself) unless you need help with your other child which I understand.  My DH is still taking DD to pre-school in the mornings.

Edited:  I am sorry about mentioning another child to take care of.  After I posted I looked at your siggy.  Sorry about your loss!

carrotsoup70

stemms8810:

Edited:  I am sorry about mentioning another child to take care of.  After I posted I looked at your siggy.  Sorry about your loss!

No worries and thank you. It's good to hear that a second csection might be easier that the first.

mlf625

Was your first an emergency c/s?  There seems to be a big difference in recoveries between emergency and scheduled c/s.  Both of mine have been scheduled and the recoveries have been a total breeze.  Even if your recovery is a bit rougher, I don't think you'll need your niece in week 3 if the boyfriend thing will be an issue for you.  (It would've been a deal breaker for me - and if you're trying to nurse, it would definitely be annoying to have a strange male in the house!)  Honestly, by week 3 after having DS, I was ready to just resume some normalcy and start getting into our new routine.  DH took off 3-4 days after we got home, max.  My mom stayed until the 1 1/2 week point after #1 and I was absolutely fine on my own when she left (when I stopped crying, I mean!)  After #2 was born, my parents stayed until she was 2 weeks, I just needed more help that time because I had a toddler who needed more activity than I felt up to providing.  That wasn't as much a c/s thing as a newborn exhaustion thing, kwim?  At 2 weeks out I was more than okay to handle both kids on my own.

Best of luck to you! 

HotChocolate79

We had my MIL staying with us for five days after we came home from the hospital.  I have a good relationship with her, but against the backdrop of PP hormones she drove me nuts.  Still it was helpful to have her there as she cooked, cleaned, etc at a time when I just couldn't handle it.  I felt well enough after she left tht I don't need anyone staying with us, but I am guessing I had an easier recovery than you did.  Still, I wouldn't want a stranger staying in my home if it were me personally.

Houstonmom

I also agree that I wouldn't want a helper that came with a stranger (boyfriend or not). He may be the nicest, most helpful guy in the world...but no.

I also wanted to let you know that my 2nd and now 3rd c-section recoveries have been much easier than my 1st (which was an emergency after 2 days of labor). Like night and day different.

Good luck! It may be a good idea to have a back up plan for that 3rd week, but I agree, the boyfriend would be a deal breaker.

carrotsoup70

It wasn't an emergency csection but I was in the hospital for 5 days and had 2 transfusions. That probably contributed to my slow recovery. Fingers crossed that things go better this time. I guess I'll tell her that if the boyfriend is a deal breaker then I'm ok with that. Thanks for your input!

eyenigh

I second the ease of the scheduled c-section recovery. Honestly, I didn't even need help at all after the first week. It was nice, but not necessary and really, more just because I'm a first time mom. I didn't need special help because of the c-section. By the third week, I'd definitely prefer to be alone than have a stranger staying with you. I understand that if your niece is coming from out of state that she probably prefers to have a traveling companion but, at the same time, it's not  good time to have someone you don't know around. My only difficulty in recovery was the hormones-- I was crying constantly and that's definitely not something you want to share with a stranger.

rzte1106

I just had a c-section 3 weeks ago, and I feel great. In fact we went up north to our cottage this past weekend.  I stopped taking my pain meds around 9 days. I did need help the first week home as I have stairs in my house and could only do them a few times a day. The second week I was going for short walks and made sure not to overdo the stairs. At week 3 I'm walking a few miles.

IMO from my experience. Week 1 you will need help. Week 2 let your hubby stay home. I still needed help with heavy lifting and the baby of course  I don't think you will need any help by week 3, in fact you may finally want some time alone with the LO. I wouldn't have your niece and a stranger come out.