Single Parents

To hyphenate the last name or not?

My boyfriend and I are having a baby together. We don't live together and have no plans on getting married, but he says he's going to be there for me and the baby. I am struggling with if I should give the baby his last name or hyphenate it with my last name as well.  Anybody have this problem an if o what did you do?

Re: To hyphenate the last name or not?

  • Put your name then add his later on if he lives up to the hype. I didn't add on my ex's last name until my son was 2 or so.
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  • Is it a long/difficult process to add the other last name later?
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  • I amassuming it is like any other change in name request not associated with a marriage or birth.  It is a fee and maybe a few minutes in front of the judge explaining that this is not anything malicious, illegal or hiding from the illegal.
  • To be honest I do not remember if it was a long process. Sorry that I'm not very helpful with that. I do remember going to court for it. But we also had other manners to handle. That just happened to be a part of it. So if that is the only thing you are trying to handle then maybe it won't take too long.
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  • Our situations differ some, but basically the father and I are no longer together and have never been married either. I strongly suggest to you to give your child ONLY your last name at this point. I won't be putting XBF's name on her BC, but that is because I have a pretty unique situation. I do plan on adding it later, but not at the time of her birth.

    In Texas, you can add a father to the BC later by both parents signing the Agreement of Paternity form along with an Application for a new Birth Certificate Based on Parentage in front of a notary public. The cost of both is $47.

    It may vary in your state, but this may give you somewhere to start. Try contacting the Attorney General's office or see if there is a website with FAQs. 

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  • I would suggest giving the baby your last name only.

    With DS's BD, he was all "I will be there for you and the baby" too. I told him that if and when we got married, and my last name changed to his, then our DS's would too. Well, he turned out to be less-than-great, and is now gone. Thank goodness DS has my last name.

    It is such a nightmare with insurance, school, etcetera when you and your child have a different last name. You are constantly having to prove you are the parent (according to my attorney, who deals with this constantly.)

    Finally, I have a friend who was pregnant and not married to the dad. She asked the same thing you did, and I told her to do what I did - give her baby her last name, and tell BD that if and when they got married, and her name changed, the baby's would too. They just got married, and went to court to have the baby's name changed. It was zero issue, and they were in and out very quickly. The birth certificate was re-issued with their child's new last name.


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