Should I work with this MW in the future

KateLouise

So another baby is a way off for us yet, but I've been reflecting on the MW I worked with.

I worked with one main midwife, and met her "back -up" midwife a number of times both before and after DD2 was born.

My midwife was lovely and I trust her ability and knowledge, but I just "clicked" with her back up a bit better, who I also trust and respect. I'm not looking for a BFF when I work with a midwife but I wonder if working with someone I click with would help the birthing process.

We planned to birth at the hospital, and part of me blames myself for going to thee hospital too soon against my instincts. (contractions were consistently 2 minutes apart but nowhere near as intense as I knew they'd become). So when I got there I definitely stalled, as I felt observed and awkward, rather than being far enough along for it not to matter to me.

MW didn't send us home but definitely encouraged it and ultimately we had baby on the bathroom floor. I don't blame MW for this as there really did seem little point in me staying at the hospital when only 3cm dilated, and she encouraged me to return anytime I felt I needed to,even if I'd only been home for 10minutes.

She did do a stretch and sweep when she examined me without asking or discussing, which I'm a bit miffed about, but maybe that's standard practice in that scenario?

I think I would feel awkward choosing her partner over herself, as they do work very closely together, but don't really want to have to start from scratch finding a whole other MW.

 Thoughts? Anything I should be factoring into my decision?

Thanks 

pixieprincss

I'd go with the backup. There is no reason to go with someone you have some hesitations about if there is a better fit. In my last PG, we clicked better with our backup doula than the one we hired. We are not having a doula this PG, but if we were I wouldn't even consider the #1 doula again when I know there is a better fit out there who already knows us. Sure, there may be an awkward conversation at some point, but better 5 awkward minutes than 9 months of second-guessing.

mstroud23

I'd go with the back up. My MW practice has 3 different MWs, and the newest one is the one that I have a closer connection to. She lives very near our home and is very good with our fur babies. For some reason it puts me at ease any time some one is good with my dog and he likes them. 

Go with the back up. It's your birth, make yourself comfortable and surround yourself with people that you feel the most comfortable with. 

pinksweetpea2

KateLouise:

She did do a stretch and sweep when she examined me without asking or discussing, which I'm a bit miffed about, but maybe that's standard practice in that scenario?

This alone would make me never want to see her again.  That is NOT standard practice for a MW IMO.

 

ateal2490

pinksweetpea2:

KateLouise:

She did do a stretch and sweep when she examined me without asking or discussing, which I'm a bit miffed about, but maybe that's standard practice in that scenario?

This alone would make me never want to see her again.  That is NOT standard practice for a MW IMO.

 

 

This. Totally not cool to do something without first getting your permission. That's one of the reasons I wanted to use a midwife instead of a regular OB. She was completely out of line IMO.