Dads & Dads-to-be

Cold Spell...

So Prior to my wife getting pregnant, we were having sex about 2 times a week (give or take do to Period/stress). Now that she is pregnant (9 weeks) she is very tired all the time and we have not had sex (or messed around) once. Has anyone else had this issue, and did their wife start wanting more intimacy once they were through the first trimester? Obviously if she feels crappy and doesn't want sex there isn't a whole lot I can do, but I really hope she doesn't feel that way the full nine months.

Re: Cold Spell...

  • well man, I think it differs with every women, my first wife was always in the mood to have sex while she was preggers, and my wife now she was up for it a few times a week..
  • It's going to vary over the course of the pregnancy. For a lot of women the first trimester is the worst. It's hard for them to feel sexy when they feel exhausted all the time and every little smell makes them want to vomit. For us there was a window during second trimester where we were up to once or twice a week. Second Trimester is typically when women feel most comfortable.

     Third Trimester is the biggest crapshoot. Things can be tender and bloated, and pregnancy puts a lot of pressure on the bladder at that point, especially if the baby drops. But some women want a LOT of sex.

     Our role as men and dads-to-be involves being patient and flexible. Things that once were almost guaranteed to get you some action (clean the house, cook dinner and give her a back rub) will be appreciated, but may not reap immediate rewards. I do think it's important to frame the discussion as "Sex makes me feel close and intimate with you". I worked very hard to keep all discussions about our sex life positive during her pregnancy and recovery. So the first trimester is definitely the worst, but odds are you won't be back to 2 times a week for another year or so. It's the price we pay for the joy of becoming a parent.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • Loading the player...
  • Thanks for the input. I have been trying to make sure she is as comfortable as possible by doing more around the house, and generally trying my best not to annoy her (as hard as that can be some times Big Smile). I have mentioned a few times that I would like to have sex somewhat jokingly because I do not want to feel like I am pressuring her into doing something she does not want to do. When I mention sex she more or less kind of blows it off and says she is tired or feels icky. I just hope that she starts feeling a little better once the first trimester is over with.
  • I know I said I wouldn't unlurk again, but I am, sorry!! The other dads are right, and you aren't alone. We went from almost daily (no joke) to nothing for 2 months and things aren't normal. Pregnancy can really make us ladies not feel in the mood or self conscience, even if we weren't before. 

    Give her some time and if she's cool with it, take care of yourself for a while. I'll tell you though, when she is in the mood again don't go wasting your time or think you need to finish something else first. The mood can pass quickly, time to exercise your ability to be spontaneous and roll with it; remember though, certain positions may not be comfortable so be willing to go with what's good for her.  

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageLuckyDad:

    It's going to vary over the course of the pregnancy. For a lot of women the first trimester is the worst. It's hard for them to feel sexy when they feel exhausted all the time and every little smell makes them want to vomit. For us there was a window during second trimester where we were up to once or twice a week. Second Trimester is typically when women feel most comfortable.

     Third Trimester is the biggest crapshoot. Things can be tender and bloated, and pregnancy puts a lot of pressure on the bladder at that point, especially if the baby drops. But some women want a LOT of sex.

     Our role as men and dads-to-be involves being patient and flexible. Things that once were almost guaranteed to get you some action (clean the house, cook dinner and give her a back rub) will be appreciated, but may not reap immediate rewards. I do think it's important to frame the discussion as "Sex makes me feel close and intimate with you". I worked very hard to keep all discussions about our sex life positive during her pregnancy and recovery. So the first trimester is definitely the worst, but odds are you won't be back to 2 times a week for another year or so. It's the price we pay for the joy of becoming a parent.

     

    this is pretty much how it was for us. 

  • It depends on the pregnancy but if anything wait till about the 3 trimester and she will be wanting to be more intimate.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"