DH wants to adopt...

jlsimon56

I don't know where to go for info so I am hoping someone can direct me?  Thank you!

We have a LO and knew we wanted 1 more child.  DH feels that he is "too old" for another baby and would prefer to adopt an older child.  (But still younger than LO.)  I wonder about the benefits of this, for the child and for our LO.

He would like to not go overseas, as he says there are plenty of kids right here that need homes.  (Is this ignorant?)

What would we need to get in order before going forward with this?  (I realize this is a HUGE question.)

I am hoping for a link to a blog or a site with information, etc. 

Also, does anyone have any opinion/advice on saving for college for an older LO, since obviously we are given less time to do so.  We would like to provide a college education for our kids, but want to be realistic.  We are not rich by any means at all.  We both work and must continue to do so to get by.

I think I am still surprised at DH for talking to me about this - it was quite a surprise.  We had discussed the possibility but I feel like it's too soon to talk about a 2nd child since our LO is not yet 1.  But from what I understand, this could take years and it's better to be informed and prepared.

I really hope this post doesn't come across as being ignorant.  I apologize if it does.  I don't know the first thing about all this.  DH has 2 adopted cousins, so he has a "leg up" on the experience, I do not. 

Thank you again.

Dr.Loretta

Hi and welcome.

I wouldn't consider his attitude ignorant. There are many reasons people choose to adopt domestically vs internationally.

I think first you'd have to figure out if you want to go through foster care to adopt, or try and adopt an older child through a private or agency-type adoption. Foster-to-adopt is likely going to be through the state, or through agencies that have children already "free for adoption", that is, their parents' rights have been terminated. With foster-to-adopt, you're looking more at a situation where reunification with family is still the primary goal.

I'd start with the FAQs at the top of the board and see if they can give you some guidelines and resources.

As to saving for college, I'd find a financial advisor and lay out your plans. Have them help you figure out how to meet your goals.

It could take years, it could take months, it could take days, to adopt. I think your best first step is to find some resources, do some research, and see where things take you. This board is a great resource, so feel free to ask specific questions. GL!

kgs0505

Check out www.adoptivefamilies.com

They have all kinds of info and articles on their website that may help you.  My son was adopted domestically by the way.  They whole process from signing with the agncy we used to placement was 19 months (16 months after we went "live" - aka - we were homestudy ready).

If you want to adopt an older child, that is still older than your LO, then you should wait awhile before starting the process.  International adoptions take a couple years, but I think most of the kids are around 18 months - 2 yo.  Of course, there are lots of kids older than toddler age who needs homes both internationally and in our own foster system.

Good luck!